I know some of you sick fucks have have some kind of fantasy of slamming Miley Cyrus because she’s an underage slut on Disney who makes a ton of fuckin’ money and that gets you off because you always had a thing for all things Disney like the poor lonely woman down the hall from me who started collecting everything and anything with Mickey Mouse on it after her husband died. It’s a little fuckin’ weird sickness but not as weird as Miley Cyrus’ busted up face.

I think the real reason you should want to get in her pants is to prove that her wholesome Disney Christian life is bullshit because she’s one of those sluts who tries to pretend she’s all for God all while her boyfriend’s dick is in her wholesome Christian ass because anal retains virginity or some shit and God likes Virgins.

The other reason you should want to get into her pants is the excitement that comes with an inexperienced mouth when that inexperienced mouth should be deemed an illegal weapon as shards of teeth come at you from every angle. It’s like playing some kind of videogame only more exciting cuz shit’s real life and has some serious consequences. Unfortunately that Miley Cyrus mouth isn’t all that inexperienced as one would hope in trying to sacrifice their penis by letting her suck it, because it is the tool that got her to this level of success in the first place.

The point of this post, is to say that you shouldn’t want to have sex with Miley Cyrus at all, she’s only 15 and more importantly she’s fuckin’ ugly. So let her be a slut amongst executives at Disney and boys her own age, it won’t be long before she’s getting naked legally.

There was a rumor that Lohan had a sex tape with Callum Best, one of her many boyfriends and people are saying that this is a cell phone pic of her suckin’ dick. I am surprised Lohan actually sucks dick, I took her for the kind of girl who just lies there and lets you do things to her because she’s either too drunk, too lazy and too into herself to care about making you feel good, kinda like thinking she’s doing you a favor for letting you into her sacred place that so many others have ventured into, making it about as sacred as a seat on a city bus, but since it’s expensive and she’s famous, it’s far more luxurious and that’s something you should consider yourself lucky for getting a piece of….

I can’t make out whether the shit is her or not and all these sex scandals bore me because I’m not the one starring in the videos with these famous bitches, but if I was you would all love the way I awkwardly grab women’s tits before giggling and hiding under the sheets because I am shy.

Either way, here are her hard nipples on their way to a private jet….obviously a lesbian private jet…that’s why she’s got the boots on….

Here she is smoking….