I get a lot of hate mail from both men and women for making fun of pregnancy and how it rapes your body. I say shit like the reason a woman loves her baby so much is because of that baby, no other man will ever love her. It’s kinda like how every girl I’ve ever dated has turned lesbian for a couple of years after dating me, and it’s not because I was too much man and destroyed them physically, it’s more like I’m vile and turned them off the gender as a whole because I am just that good at being vile, but I gotta give it to Claudia Schiffer, she’s really bounced back and has a nice slim body after making babies. Sure her ass is kinda flat, but I’d take a mom with a flat ass over a fat ass, but then again my opinion is not fact since she’s wearing pants and I can’t see the kind of damage passing that kid has done to her vagina…I heard she couldn’t walk for a week…no wait that was you, after letting your friend fuck you up the ass because you were dying for human contact and didn’t care where it came from…..
Here are some Anna Kournikova Bikini pictures, because although she’s getting older, her tight Russian body in a bikini never gets old to me.
The thing I like about Russian chicks is that they have low standards. They are hot and aren’t looking for much more than food on the table and citizenship to a new prosperous country. They grew up as communists with rationed bread and toilet paper and the freedom we have to go and buy as much bread as we want is appealing enough for them to fall in love with you, have your babies and marry you. You don’t need to be famous to bang these bitches, you just need a passport where as North American girls are all materialistic and shit and want their good lookin’, rich, provider of a man who treats them like shit.
I guess the point of all this is to say, start saving your money, because a trip to Russia will make you feel like the rockstar you always wanted to be and maybe you’ll be able to bring home something nice for your mother who is scared you’re going to die alone and a virgin. At least she cares.
Here are some pictures of Anna Kournikova, the least successful tennis player but probably the best thing to happen to tennis because she wasn’t some brute lesbian grunting on the court, but a dainty little russian who we all pretended her gasps and grunts were sounds of her orgasms. Nothing like shutting your eyes and turning up the volume to a tennis match, that shit’s like porno and we all know how you feel about porn.
Thanks to the dude who sent these in, I’ll be your mail order bride, but I doubt you’d be able to stomach my stink. Cuddles.
I know that a girl in her underwear is enough to make you happy. I know that you’re one of those guys at the strip club who sits by the stage clapping and urging the bitches on. It’s people like you that fuck it up for the rest of us, because it gives them a false sense of worth, making them feel pretty and wanted and putting them on a some kind of ego trip, making them forget they are whores.
So these pictures of Brooke Hogan make you happy, because a girl in underwear is better than a girl in clothes especially on the internet.
When I look at these pictures, I just remember a fat girl trying to get skinny to have a career, and when she reached her ideal weight, she decided to get naked, in hopes of getting assholes like you, who are easy to fucking please at her show.
I am not saying I wouldn’t stuff her like a turkey if I had the chance, I am just saying that bitch has no business doing whatever it is that she does, and being Hulk Hogan’s shadow, is probably not a place anyone should be, because he’s a piece of Florida trash with big biceps, stupid hair and crazy pants….and she may not be wearing crazy pants, but bitch could probably beat the fuck out of me with legs like that. Ya’ Heard?
I forgot where I was going with this, because I am drunk, but I do hate people who cheer on strippers, because it makes getting a lap dance next to impossible….Cuddles….
These bitch needs more than just a vacation. She should be spending her money on a personal trainer, some lipo and a little breast lift. I hate being the person who attacks bitche’s body cuz I know that’s all everyone who posts these pics is going to say. I’d like to make it very clear to all my readers, that I have no problem with fat girls, I am married to a fat girl. I don’t want to give you the impression that I am shallow, cuz I am not, I like anything with a vagina. When I used to be a dog breeder, I’d drown all the little boy dogs, cuz they didn’t have little dog vaginas, like Mariah.
I like when the Paparazzi take pictures of celebrities on the beach, during their vacations. They deserve it, considering an Actor’s life is a fuckin’ vacation. Try working in a factory you motherfuckers, an entire life to just pay the fuckin’ rent, while you sip your cocktails, play on your cell phones and order around some local slave you hired. Point of the story is I like that Penelope’s boyfriend dresses like he’s homeless and is still recognized as one of people’s most beautiful people. If you’re wondering why I know that, my fat wife like to read magazines and recite the whole motherfucker to me when I am cornered, and forced to talk to her. Either way, here are some of the bikini pics all the loser celebrity bloggers will be posting, remember you got it here first. I am watching phone sex infomercials. My life is fucking complete. Fuck you.
I don’t really understand Fergie at all. She came out of nowhere, destroyed a decent hip hop group, not that I will ever admit to liking hip hop, but I will admit to seeing a group of crackhead “artists” turn into dirty popstars cuz they added a bitch with implants to sing over their songs, wear slutty gear and do a little dance. I have nothing against adding some pussy to any project to make it more successful, cuz I like pussy, but I will never respect people who profit off it cuz they lack the talent to lure in people with their own product. If I ever had a website, I would NEVER post pictures of nipple slips, bikinis and pussy to lure in readers. This has been a post on Fergie in a Bikini and she still has a disgusting face.
Again, another British celeb in a bikini. This time some girl named Cat Deeley. She was the host of many MTV shows, I didn’t really check out what she’s up to now. She could still be an MTV host. The reason I am posting these pics is primarily because she is a “celebrity” I have never heard of in a bikini, which is something I commited to posting about in my Martine McCutcheon post just 3 minutes ago. I have nothing to say about this one, other than I like the way she serves her man a beer. I am not saying that because I think a women should wait on her man hand and feet, I do say it because I have a wife who can’t even open a can of fucking beans for me because her wrists are too fat to give her can-opening mobility. I’d tell her to take a hint from Cat Deeley, our useless bikini clad celebrity of the day, but my bitch doesn’t know who to read english. That is the end of this story.
I have a thing for obscure celebrities in bikinis. It seems like a constant issue with this site. I find pics of “celebrities” I have never heard of in their bikinis, and I throw up the pics. I don’t really know why I do it, I assume that no one really reads this site anyway, but I do it. So this lovely lady’s name is Martine McCutcheon. She was in a Hugh Grant movie called Love Actually, and she is supposed to be huge in England. Well according the these pics, she’s also huge in the USA. I hate making fat jokes, cuz I know they are the lowest common denominator, I also know that most of you are fat and/or have fat girlfriends. I know that you will all defend Martine because she has breasts, and you find anything with breasts hot. I am not hear to shit on your parade, so I won’t talk about how fat she is because we all know, if I wasn’t impotent, and was drunk, I’d probably stuff her like a turkey too, and it’s not even thanksgiving yet.
I am not one to criticize someone for having a bad picture taken of them. I don’t think that would be fair, considering every picture of me is pretty fucking bad. I am not really one to criticize someone for being fat, especially when she’s a pro tennis player and wins all the fucking time. I am not about to pull up her stats, but by lookin at this pic, it seems like the way she wins is by eating the person she is playing against, or maybe she just sits on them until they give up. By lookin’ at this pic, there is no way that Serena “Heffer” Williams is an athlete anymore.
I would like to take a second to laugh at plastic surgery. This bitch was a Page 3 model in the UK, I’m guessin’ a while ago, and was known for having the smallest Page 3 titties ever. I guess that title got her a little insecure about her rack and next thing I know she’s at the premiere of Get Rich or Die Trying (on of America’s proudest moment’s in Film History), in nothing but a bra.
I guess the lacey thing makes it an official shirt, either wzay her tits and face look all plastic. I’m sure she got this done a long time ago - I just thinks it’s nice to compare her new pics with the old ones. Yeah - I am not feeling funny today.
