If you read this site, you will know that I posted a few pictures of Christina Aguilera on set of her new movie, because I guess she’s an actor now, as acting doesn’t take much talent. She was wearing tight leggings and her body looked rockin, because I guess being in a movie called Burlesque means she strips down, not that burlesque stripping is really anything to get excited for, but we cal all hope Hollywood puts a hotter spin on it that the burlesque shows I’ve been to, where girls who dress like Betty Page and think they are in the 1950s, who you would assume is a lesbian and who is a solid 35 pounds out of weight humiliates herself in nipple tassels, trying to cocktease, when really just providing serious comedy….because hot girls don’t need to do that kind of song and dance to get laid….they can strip at real stripclubs or fuck rich guys who pay their way…like Christina Aguilera did and I am loving Christina Aguilera’s little whore body in tights…it brings back memories of jerking off to her ten years ago…good times.
I don’t know how old Sophie Turner is, mainly because I don’t really know who Sophie Turner is, I just know she threatened to sue me for saying she looked like a pornstar, because she looks like a fucking pornstar, but it turns out she find that offensive, because it is beneath her to fuck on camera, but it’s not beneath her to dress half naked to events, even if she looks fucking ridiculous, like a clown you probably want to fuck, despite not knowing why you want to fuck her or who she is but strictly basing it on the fact that she’s got a vagina that’s probably been worn in proper….
Lily Allen is a fucking slob and here she is in a pair of bikini bottoms showing off what not working out, eating too much, drinking too much and doing a lot of drugs thanks to the money you made using your mother’s connections and landing your a stupid record deal,recruiting dumb girls as fans and being boring while unsexy at all the same fucking time…here are the pics…
I figure that it was never quite gay to jerk off to Michael Jackson, not because I spend a good year doing it, but because his voice was angelic, his talent possibly sent from god, his sexuality and gender pretty ambigious and really more on the no penis in his pants side of things. It was on the same level as a dude jerking off to an Anime movie, or a comic book character, he was just bigger than life, almost non-human sent from another planet to seduce us and manipulate us thru song but I do think it is weird to jerk off to him now that he’s pretending to be dead, and living as a muslim woman in the desert somewhere to escape his demons here…..that’s where LaToya the stand in pussy comes in. She’s like some kind of MJ fluff girl, picking up the slack from him now that he’s dropped the balls he never really had and manned up and escaped the hell he is living and her body is pretty fucking tight lookin…not to mention one I have jerked off to decades ago when she worked for Playboy…good times…
I am not posting these pictures because I care that Karina Smirnoff has a new boyfriend, or that I think it’s one of life’s biggest tragedies that I am not that boyfriend, because I’m not one of those people who gets that involved, you know the kind of guy who punched the wall when Aguilera got married when I had a bet running with someone for 1000 dollars that I’d fuck her before either of us die, I just don’t bother with these celebrity idiots since they don’t exist to me since I can’t grab their asses in bars when drunk, but I know someone out there is upset about this and that person watches Dancing with the Stars everyday, which also makes him a little homo or a little teenage girl or even a little bored middle age housewife along with the weirdo lonely loser he is, so who she fucks doesn’t matter, especially when she rose to the top as a mail order bride or girl in the international sex trade and I guess that doesn’t matter, what does matter is that Karina Smirnoff is showing off tit cuz a dancing body is not a body worth wasting.
I am not going to say that Stephanie Pratt is hot, because her face looks like a pile of fucking shit after I ate my wife’s make-up one night when I was fuckin’ drunk, but I am trying to ignore the fact that she is not only on the biggest piece of garbage to hit televison since Laguna Beach, I am also going to really try to ignore that she is only on the show because she is related to Spencer Pratt, and not the kind of related you don’t mind being, like second cousins or some shit, because this bitch fell out of the same fucking pussy as him. I am doing my best to appreciate her tight skinny body, because in this day and age, it’s a rarity because that whole obesity crisis is taking the fuck over, and girls who would have been hot are now fat and ugly girls who are skinny are considered hot just because we have limited options and take what we can fucking get and the way I’m doing that is imagining that if I was know I was going to fuck her, I’d go out and fuck the dirtiest street whore I could find a few weeks earlier, without a condom, in hopes of getting AIDS, that I can pass onto her and in turn the entire cast of The Hills because they use the same port-o-potty or some shit..pretty much saving the fucking world from the garbage these assholes spew.
It’s taken a while, but it looks like Jessica Alba’s gone and got her body back. I guess we can all stop hating on Cash Warren and calling him a muderer for killin’ her body and we can go back to sympathizing with him knowing that this bitch trapped the motherfucker for life, but at least she’s lookin good now while doin’ it.
Let’s just hope for everyone’s sake, the next time she lets a dude cum inside her that she has the decency to herself and the rest of us to get fuckin’ Plan B morning after pill, or better yet a fuckin’ abortion, because abortions are like porn to me, they are also a total relief and if I could, I’d devote my life to abortion, but unfortunately it takes years of schooling to be an abortionist, that you can work your way around if you want to get arrested. I’ve looked into it.
Here’s her body in her bikini for her big reveal you’ve all already masturbated to..
It’s hard not to be into a tight Asian body, that even if it’s on some useless, possibly 50 year old, cunt, who really isn’t all that useless if you think about it, because she exposes her nipples on the fuckin’ regular, because it gets the inner pedophile out of you when you get to fuck them and shit won’t get you arrested or shanked in prison for stealing innocence, if if the vagina was so small it made you think you did, but I guess I’ll never know just how small an asian vagina actually is since I am a married man….but I’m sure Bai Ling does, since she has one and I’m also sure she’s done everything in her power to beat that shit up and make it look as big as the other girls in Hollywood, but all her extra meat went to her nipples…
I don’t know what I am talking about. I just wanna put that out there if you’re reading this scratchin’ your head wondering what the fuck I am getting at, assuming someone actually reads this….even though I know they don’t….
When you are an old fat billionaire you not only get to fuck young tight bodied wonderbra models, but you get to marry them and cheat on them with even younger tighter models, while the original young tight wonderbra model won’t do shit about it, because she’s hooked on the lifestyle and you were smart enough to sign a prenup leaving her nothing, not that you’d want to fuck other pussy with this laying in your bed everynight, and by not wanting to fuck other pussy I mean, all pussy gets boring, even if it is attached to the hottest body, because guess what bitches, no matter who they are, get fuckin’ annoying, and new bitches keep shit fresh, especially when you have the old ball and chain at home waiting for you as a back-up in the event the new one isn’t as good as she is proving yet again that being a billionaire makes for a good fuckin’ life.
I used to know a bitch who was into suction on her pussy. She made this device with a plastic cup and a garden hose that she’d but over her vagina and start sucking and one day I was lucky enough to watch. She said something it being the only way she can get off, but I’ll tell you the space creature shit that happened to her vagina under that kind of pressure was disgusting as a vagina should never be seen under those conditions, and it was the one time I couldn’t get off to a naked bitch who wasn’t my wife and the shit looked a lot like Lisa Rinna’s mouth.
Here is Lisa Rinna on the beach and she is fuckin’ jacked and I guess not eating is the least she can do after spending all that money over the years on lips, tits, and labia reduction surgery that has yet to be confirmed but would explain what the hell is on her face.
I always liked Kelly Ripa. She made me laugh. She was little and kinda hot and she liked to get fucked. At least that what I assumed after she had all those kids because getting pregnant involves fucking. See, I am not as dumb as you thought.
What I don’t like is that her her body is so fuckin’ rock hard, sure I always shit on mom’s post pregnancy, for being ruined, and Kelly is no exception to the fucking rule, because instead of being doughy, she’s jacked on fuckin’ steroids and the way her tits are pulsating with testosterone off her chest is some weird fucking look.
That said, I wouldn’t mind watching her pussy flex its muscles. But that’s cuz I like pussy.
Lisa Rinna is old, doctored, and pretty fucking fit. She’s in this month’s playboy, I haven’t seen it yet, but with that vagina on her face, I guess there’s really no point in seeing her actual pussy, it’ll just be some deflated mess in her panties that will just let me down and my life is filled with enough of that, so I don’t want to deal with it right now. You know keep the dream of a collagen pussy alive.
I think these pics are from the weekend and hit yesterday, I’m slow. Deal with it.
Hey Fat Chicks, if you’re wondering how she stays fit, watch this video….
I always wanted to punch Jenny McCarthy in the face, which may not be saying much since I want to punch most women in the face, I think it’s one of those wanting to do what you’re not allowed to do, you know the same reason your 15 year old daughter is rippin’ lines and sucking two dicks at a time while skipping school, only a lot more angry. The reason I wanted to punch her in the face wasn’t just because she had fake tits and a pussy, but because she was fucking annoying. I’d see her yelling aggressively at me on TV back in the 90s used to piss me off in a big way and I’d want to shove that big horse head in the motherfucking trough and hold her under the water until I felt her stop resisting, knowing that enough oxygen was deprived from her brain to leave her in the corner playing with rocks and drooling, calm and not bouncing off the walls screaming at me, like her autistic son, but her body is pretty fucking spectacular considering all she’s been through and how old she is, so seeing her in some bikini pictures works for me since her screechy annoying yelps can’t be heard, but the real thing that makes these pictures hot is that this couple look like fraternal twins and everyone loves seeing or thinking about twins fucking, it’s next masturbation we can envy since we’ve exhausted every masturbation method possible to keep things fresh and don’t have a twin to feel like we’re fucking ourselves.
I get a lot of hate mail from both men and women for making fun of pregnancy and how it rapes your body. I say shit like the reason a woman loves her baby so much is because of that baby, no other man will ever love her. It’s kinda like how every girl I’ve ever dated has turned lesbian for a couple of years after dating me, and it’s not because I was too much man and destroyed them physically, it’s more like I’m vile and turned them off the gender as a whole because I am just that good at being vile, but I gotta give it to Claudia Schiffer, she’s really bounced back and has a nice slim body after making babies. Sure her ass is kinda flat, but I’d take a mom with a flat ass over a fat ass, but then again my opinion is not fact since she’s wearing pants and I can’t see the kind of damage passing that kid has done to her vagina…I heard she couldn’t walk for a week…no wait that was you, after letting your friend fuck you up the ass because you were dying for human contact and didn’t care where it came from…..
Here are some Anna Kournikova Bikini pictures, because although she’s getting older, her tight Russian body in a bikini never gets old to me.
The thing I like about Russian chicks is that they have low standards. They are hot and aren’t looking for much more than food on the table and citizenship to a new prosperous country. They grew up as communists with rationed bread and toilet paper and the freedom we have to go and buy as much bread as we want is appealing enough for them to fall in love with you, have your babies and marry you. You don’t need to be famous to bang these bitches, you just need a passport where as North American girls are all materialistic and shit and want their good lookin’, rich, provider of a man who treats them like shit.
I guess the point of all this is to say, start saving your money, because a trip to Russia will make you feel like the rockstar you always wanted to be and maybe you’ll be able to bring home something nice for your mother who is scared you’re going to die alone and a virgin. At least she cares.
Here are some pictures of Anna Kournikova, the least successful tennis player but probably the best thing to happen to tennis because she wasn’t some brute lesbian grunting on the court, but a dainty little russian who we all pretended her gasps and grunts were sounds of her orgasms. Nothing like shutting your eyes and turning up the volume to a tennis match, that shit’s like porno and we all know how you feel about porn.
Thanks to the dude who sent these in, I’ll be your mail order bride, but I doubt you’d be able to stomach my stink. Cuddles.
