Boost Mobile threw some kind of party this weekend and it lured all kinds of D-Listers and Hasbeens who put on their bikinis for the everyday person to feel like they are partying with people more important than they are, all while promoting Boost Mobile.

It reminds me of the DrunkenStepfather Hot Tub party I tried to organize when wasted Saturday night. I was doing my best recruiting young girls to come back to my place to get in their underwear, do drugs and rock out, but the only person I was able to convince to come to the party was some guy who was walking around in his underwear because he was so drunk that he lost his pants somewhere along the way that night, but I guess that probably worked out for the better, because it would have not only been embarrassing having everyone come back to my shit hole apartment to realize that the closest thing I have to a hot tub is some dirty bath tub no one uses that looks like a septic tank and that needs to be filled manually by water we boil on the stove….not to mention the only massage jets we’d get going would be me manning a straw and I just don’t have the lung capacity to fool even the drunkest girl into thinkin’ shit was a hot tub…..especially with my fat wife raining on my fucking parade by kickin’ everyone out. So I just left the pantless man and made my way home alone…..

Here are a couple of the no name useless sluts at the Boost Mobile party, because I like bikinis.

Natasha Henstridge….

Summer Altice….