I have always found Paris Hilton offensive, I think it started when I saw how bad of a fuck she was in her shitty video and continued in pretty much everything she did, including this stunt at her birthday party this past weekend where she performed with the Pussycat Doll like she’s someone we want to see in lingerie, without realizing that she is someone we want to see disappear.
I figure that at 27, bitch should lay off the club slutting and settle down with some unwanted pregnancy and deadbeat boyfriend, at least that would get her out of her lingerie and into a housecoat which in Paris’ case, fully clothed is a lot hotter than half naked, but instead she insists on hitting the clubs everynight like some kind of 19 year college girl looking for a rich guy to give her free drinks off his bottle to get her drunk enough to take her back to his luxury condo to teach her ass a life lesson about taking free drinks from a dude.
In these pictures Paris looks like a tranny rockin’ out at a drag show which makes sense since she’s at LAX in Vegas and that’s DJ AM’s on the “down low” gay club that he pretends isn’t a gay club because of he throws bikini contests to distract us from the fact that it’s a gay club, like that time I walked into the bus station at 2 am to take a shit after drinking too much on a bench outside and every bathroom stall was being used by married dudes who would meet there to get busy with other men they didn’t know while their wives were at home. It made for a pretty awkward shit.
Either way, we know the truth about DJ AM and that he is responsible for turning Nicole Richie into a little 90 pound 14 year old boy a few years back because it was the only way he could get it up for her. From what I’ve been told his erectile dysfunction had nothing to do with all the drugs he did in the past, but had to do with wanting dick and even going so far to get gastric bypass to be more desirable in the gay club circuit and I can only assume he’s involved in the hardening of Paris’ face that’s making her look like this skinny dude I know who has a little addiction to size 10 high heels and cheap lingerie, he’s not gay just a little confused from all the drugs he’s on to forget the time his childhood piano teacher taught him what jerking off is with his mouth.
Here are pictures of a half naked Dita Von Tease doing her stupid Burlesque show. It always involves her in a champagne class with nipple covers and a thong and as good as that sounds on paper, shit looks pretty fucking boring, not because she does the same routine over and fucking over like bitch is in Groundhog Day, but because she doesn’t show the world her box that Marilyn Manson shot his satan seed up inside.
I don’t really get the whole pinup girl craze that’s been going on the last couple years. It seems like only fat chicks really respond to the whole movement, because it gives them a false sense of sexiness and they wear corsets and show off their fat tits everywhere they go to celebrate that sexiness they never knew existed while they emotionally ate their ugly fat hearts out through high school when no one would slam them.
I also don’t understand the whole alternative model movement that is a lot like this 1950’s burlesque pinup shit, because these fat chicks in corsets get tattooed and pierced decide that they can be models and people will get off to their naked inked fat asses. The way I see it, they shouldn’t be allowed out of their ratty homes and jobs working as a cashier at the pharmacy and into the photo studio where they get naked, but guys like you, who aren’t into hot chicks, buy memberships to these Suicide Girls sites, fueling this whole fucking industry and making more and more ugly girls get tattooed to feel wanted. I guess you’re a fucking charitable organization and you at least get off because of it, which is more than I can say about people who donate to AIDS Babies in Africa Charities.
I think Agent Provocateur is the hottest lingerie line. The reason is simple. It’s styled from 1920’s burlesque. This shit reminds me of my mom. Back in Mexico in the ’70s, all my mom could afford was used underwear from America, the sexy stuff was from the ’20s and ’30s. She would rock her american panties all day, everyday so it is a fond memory. Well a little more fond than hearing her shove things in her client’s asses, or seeing her get fucked all day everyday, we all need to make a living. I guess the other reason I dig Provocateur is cuz it’s classy and sheer and since I like bush, and I have said that bush is the future of pubic hair styling over and over again. Bald is played out but I think the bikini wax is hype if you are a cheesy chick from the suburbs; the kind of girl who dances on the bar in a “My Boobs Are Real” ironic t-shirt, even though bitch has implants, flashing her g-string that says cutie and shows off her playboy bunny tattoo. But I am done with strippers. I am more into sophisticated bitches who know how to read, who can teach me things, and who have a little bush. This has been the Agent Provocateur Bush Picture of the Day.
