I am sure it’s tedious for you 6 assholes to read that Pink is a man, or that Pink is a lesbian, or that Pink is a bull dyke with a plastic dick she straps on and poses in front of the mirror with, stoking it while screaming and crying to god asking why he wronged her the way he did by blessing her with the gift of song and success but cheating her out of the one thing she really wanted…a dick, because I am tired of writing about it.

Lesbians generally don’t like me. The other week I met some girl who hadn’t been with a man in 5 years and I was working some drunken angle trying to convince her to make out with me. I have a thing about breaking people down and getting them to get busy with me, considering I smell like feces and am obese and she was convinced she was a ‘mo, I thought it’d be a challenge and despite being a lazy motherfucker, sometimes, alcohol makes me ambitious.

Anyway, I got the lesbian to make out with me and I was suckin’ her tit in the bar, but then she realized what she was doing and fucked off, never to be seen again, until the other day, when I had to shit and ran into some organic food restaurant because it was the nearest place and I figured organic hippie lesbians assholes would embrace my shit and want to get some use out of their composting toilets so that they can use my shit to help fertilize their organic garden next summer,

I walk in and the lesbian who’s tit I sucked was working the fuckin’ cash. I said hello and asked to use the washroom and she looked at me with disgust and asked me to leave. I guess she didn’t want a round 2, I would have totally let her play with my vagina-lookin’ broken penis.

BONUS - Pink Walking