I never really incorporated sex into food, except for the occasional time I convinced whatever girl I was with to shove a beer bottle in her cooch, but that always took too much energy and insertion shit is pretty gross cuz you don’t know where the fuck the found object came from and seeing a condom on anything makes it look ridiculous and unsexy, especially when that anything is a bottle, food, or whatever the fuck bitch is shoving up in her.

My wife recently wanted to bring food into our sex life that I like to think is non-existent but sometimes I fuck up and give into my natural urges, but in all fairness food’s not so much a fetish for her, it just seems like more of a hobby she really digs, so the food is only licked off each other when she spills the shit and can’t let a morsel go to waste. I wonder if that’s how you spell mosel. It’s a pretty gay word.

Here’s Jessica Simpson singing for her love Tony Romo on his birthday, where they playfully make a mess out of the cake with each other and make out with their mouths full. Having a filled up mouth is a pretty common scenario that Jessica Simpson is use to because it’s the only way her boyfriends can shut the bitch up, because whenever she talks it makes them question why they are doing what they are doing until taking another glimpse of her tits.

This whole thing makes me thing of Nick Lachey and their wedding that ended in misery, but then again, everything makes me think of Nick Lachey, he’s so dreamy…..I guess that gay started with the word morsel and built up to this. I’d apologize but why bother….no one’s reading this anyway….