I assume the Olympics are coming to an end and we’re all going to have to wait another 4 years for the shit to hit again and despite that making a whole lot of you sad, I really couldn’t care less. It’s rare to find hot athletes who don’t have steroid clits the size of a grown man’s thumb, something my inappropriate little league coach told me about when I was 12 and I have carried that fact around with me for a long time, true story, but this Paraguay slut named Leryn Franco’s lookin’ pretty fuckin’ alright.
I assume because Paraguay doesn’t invest too much money into their team and there proabably aren’t that many Javelin throwers in Paraguay because the people there are too busy dancing around fires, she doesn’t work out all too much considering she pretty much placed last. I figure she joined the shit for the same reason I joined my high school volleyball team and that was to miss school, go to other schools and check out the girl team play and here she is showing off her hot ass and pussy in her tight pants.
I have met Pizza Restaurant owner Caroline D’Amore, because that’s just the quality of “celebrity” this site puts me in contact with and in reality shit had absolutely nothing to do with this site, and more to do with my alcoholism. This is the story.
It was a Wednesday and I was looking for something to do and this guy I knew invited me to some celebrity DJ event at a chachi bar, where there was no cover charge and where he would be buying bottles of vodka because there was some kind of deal at the bar because it was mid-week.
The DJ was Caroline D’Amore and I thought I had never heard of her, so I went because I was in the mood to get drunk and have a good laugh. After a bunch of drinks, this skinny, Celine Dion lookin’ girl gets up behind the turntables, which happened to be right next to my friends table and I start listening to her set.
I don’t DJ and don’t know much about DJing, but knew that this bitch was killing every single mix, making each song sound like it was violently raping the next song while she did that Paris Hilton dance behind the turntables. I started laughing and made faces at her and she was starting to notice and obsess over me and my mocking. Within 10 minutes of my pointing and ridiculing her, she turns to the club promoter and calls him over, tells him that she’s quitting her set about 20 minutes into it and when he asked why, she points at me and says I am being an asshole and lauging at her.
I find the whole thing amazing, until the promoter and his pussy security make a circle around me and threaten to beat me up and kick me out for fuckin’ with Caroline and Caroline decides to get involved and tell me how much of an asshole I am. I deny because I don’t need to really drive the point home, bitch already quit her set and I take her aside, tell her about my site and that I was just teasing to get her attention because I have a crush on her and tease girls I crush on because I have the same level of game as a ten year old.
It turns out she knew about the site and said that I had written about her cameltoe in the past , I told her that I didn’t remember but that I fucking love cameltoe and that she should keep bringing the goods, she gave me a hug, forgave me for mocking her and left me. Since then, she has continued her DJ career, while I continue my cameltoe blogging, never to cross paths again, but the fact that she knew the site made me forget that she sucked as a DJ and made me a fan, even if only for 5 minutes and mainly because I wanted to get invited back to her hotel to watch her shower, but that didn’t happen. What has happened is that everytime she’s been back to Montreal, she’s made a point of not emailing me or inviting me out to her event or to grab some pizza and I feel pretty rejected about the whole thing because I thought we were friends, but at least I can still post about her vagina tightly wrapped in a bathing suit. No one can take that away from me.
Cameltoes are pretty much a given when you’re a mom and that’s just because you lose all control of your vagina and shit’s just loosely hanging making it next to impossible to keep your pants from making their way up in the crack. It’s like the thing’s got a mind of it’s own as each lip falls on either side of the pant seam and the only corrective measure one can take is duct tape.
Here’s Patricia Heaton’s vagina barely eating her pants, but it’s a taste of what’s to come because let’s face it, shit’s just not as tight enough to fight off tight pants anymore.
Sienna Miller is good to go. She’s got an amazing cocaine body and I love that she doesn’t mind showing it off like some free spirited vegan feminist in sandals with a huge bush, but unlike the vegan feminist, Sienna Miller doesn’t rip cocks off men everywhere and hold them over her head like she’s carrying some Olympic torch in her quest to take the penis down, but instead begs for it to be stuck inside her because it’s a lazy day and she just feels like smoking some cigarettes, drinking some wine and laying on white linens naked all day after getting fucked.
Sure it could just be misrepresentation and misinterpretation, but she seems to be the good kind of hippie, the kind who is into fucking but who lives in luxury lofts, wears designer clothes and has enough money to pay me child support after I K-Fed her. Not that I ever will, but you get what I’m saying here, her vagina’s so hungry it’s eating her white bikini bottoms and that to me is enough proof of what I just wrote. Reality is that none of us will find out, but you can try to pretend you are while masturbating. It wouldn’t be a first time for you…at least you’re giving your dead relatives who are watching over you something to watch and by watch I mean be ashamed of…I guess it’s your kind of over-acheiving or some shit, you know adding chronic masturbater to being an unemployed, overweight loser on welfare in his mom’s basement is kind of an achievement.
I always love when girls wear vagina hugging pants because it gives me enough information to visualize what they look like naked. I know that the chances of them ever showing me their goods are pretty fuckin’ slim, especially since they are young and hot and sitting across from me at the coffee shop, often times telling their boyfriends how some creepy old guy keeps lookin’ at them and it’s making them uncomfortable.
Since Hayden pretty much has as much has the same body type and sex appeal as the dresser I pulled out of the trash last year to help store my wife’s disgusting clothes that I was tired of seeing in piles throughout our room, since I am quite the homemaker, the only reason I’d want to see anything hugging her crotch is to see if she’s got a bigger dick than me, which she does. That’s pretty much the reason I’ve never done any gang bangs in my life, I just know I’d always fall short and wouldn’t be able to live with myself being that inadequate….I’d volunteer to box Panettiere to prove that despite having a smaller dick I am still all man, but I know she’d win. So it’s pretty much a losing day for a loser today.
I don’t really know if Sophie Monk’s got one of those vaginas where the clit hood pokes out like it’s stickin’ its tongue out at you but it looks like she does in these tight pants she’s got jacked up and I find that hot. I used to be all about the coinslot because I was convinced they didn’t exist so I’d ask every girl I came across if she had just a slit and they would be all awkward before telling me I’d never find out. None of that really matters, what does matter is that despite her being damaged goods for gettin’ with the Good Charlotte sister, I still think she’s got it going on and can see past that. The way I justify it to myself is that she’s from Australia and in Australia they do things different. People who are lame here are cool there and vice versa, so I can’t blame her for falling into his trap, it’s probably just a cultural thing. I remember seeing video of the New Kids on the Block in Japan 2 years after their careers in North America died and girls were still fainting for those poofters, and a lot of dlisters here are huge stars out there so it all makes sense.
What doesn’t make sense is how he went from this chick to Paris Hilton in what’s gotta be a major fuckin’ rebound, we’ve all been there….but I can guarantee whatever kinda heat she’s got packin’ in her pants has nothin’ on this girl’s outty pussy and the truth is that neither vaginas have anything on his brother’s cock that he misses so much….
Rihanna seems to know how to put on a performance that reminds me of the time I accidentally walked into a fetish night party at a bar I used to frequent. I wasn’t too thrown off by all the nasty lookin’ people in their latex assless pants being dragged around on leashes, until I realized that it was a gay party and that the only girl in the place who had amazingly huge tits, and who I just let suck me off was actually I tranny packin heat. I didn’t mind too much, she was wearing lipstick and that’s all I really look for in a woman and she gave a really good blow job too, I guess she was just overcompensating for not having a vagina….
I don’t watch Heroes, so I don’t understand all the hype, but I met a weird dude in the park who’s watched the whole season 10 times because shit changed his life. He was trying to convince me that my life was lacking in a big way because I wasn’t up on this shit and I had to clarify that my life is lacking in a big way for a lot more reasons than not watching some stupid TV show that people like him are obsessed with.
Either way, Kristen Bell is on the show and here she is walking in some kind of fitness pants that are kinda huggin her box, and despite not letting us know what she’s actually got inside the box, it’s good enough for me because every time I leave my house now, girls are rocking spandex or leggings, and I guess they don’t realize that leggings are one step away from naked and I can pretty much make out everything when they bend over to pick up my “packages” I deliberately knock off their table to get a better look of their junk from behind…or even when I stare at their mounds when they are just innocently sitting there …I know Kristen Bell isn’t rockin’ a pair of leggings, but that’s what this shit reminded me of and since I’m writing this shit, I guess I’m like Bobby Brown and more recently Britney Spears and it’s my prerogative.
I was at my local Starbucks the other day because it’s a cheap escape since the dude there hooks me up with free coffee and that’s a price I can afford. There was a young girl in her leggings with some dude and they were all in teenage love and shit. They kept kissing like no one else in the world mattered, meaning they didn’t notice me creeping on them the whole fucking time. Shit got pretty fucking intense after it went on for 45 minutes of them just making out and I couldn’t grasp the concept. I think the longest I’ve ever kissed a girl was for under 3 minutes and that whole time I was just trying to figure out how I was going to get my dick in her mouth or my fingers in her cooch. I ended up moving to the seat next to them and whispering in the dude’s ear “go for her cooter” cuz I figured he needed some pointers and his faggy intense kissing was getting to me. They ended up stopping, dropping and rolling….which was a good thing because if he wasn’t going to make I move, I was and I don’t need that kind of bad press….actually I do, my site sucks. At least I know for next time.
No one seems to care that Jenny McCarthy is dating her long lost brother, I guess they think it is magical that 2 retarded faces came together like puzzle pieces from across the country and met in hollywood to be together. Their parents would be so proud.
I remember the first few time I watched porn in the early 80s, they always had an incest theme, which is kinda weird, but I guess was a fantasy of the era. I am talking more than one movie that I saw was about a father fucking his daughter or a sister fucking her brother, and that’s the shit people were getting off to. I didn’t think it actually happened, it was just so naughty that they got off to the concept and not to their siblings…if you know what I mean…
Then I met Roy, this dude who lived in the suburbs who was about 14 and dude came into school one day bragging about how he got laid. This went on for about 3 months before we called him out on who he was banging and all he would say was this older chick. We ended up finding out that his fat sister was jealous of all her friends who were getting cock so she started banging him, she was probably 18 or 19 at the time and we were all disgusted because she was his sister but that was before realizing how hot the shit was except for her being fat…
Either way, here are pics of Jenny McCarthy in a bikini with her rockin’ tight body for a 40 year old…
This is another one of Paris Hilton’s guests at her weekend beach party. Her name is Caroline D’Amore, her parents own a pizza restaurant and she is 23 years old. I did my research on her because she looks like she’s fucking 12 and even if that shit turns you on, I don’t want to go to jail for being a child pornographer because I hear they cut you in prison for that shit, and I don’t find that shit too sexy, I am more on the parents against pedophiles side of the argument you boylover.
Reality is that I always loved those teen models who were in their 20s but pretended they were teens to get people like you off. It reminded me of Peter Pan and this girl I used to bang who was 10 years older than me but looked 10 years younger than me. I guess she was the runt of the litter or someshit, and when she was in highschool and looked 7 no one wanted a piece, but when she was 27 and looked 17 the tables fucking turned proper. That’s the problem with over-developed teen girls, they all end up getting fat when the skinny awkward ones fill out the way they’re supposed to.
Either way, I used to look at their sites because I had nothing better to do and the alternative was looking at haggard sluts with their uterus’ hanging out of their cunts so innocent and fresh was more of a fantasy than old and washed up because you always want what you don’t have.
I guess what I am getting at is that when they are 23, they are fair game and when they have their boyfriend’s name tattooed next to their cunt, they are stupid enough to end up with a guy like you, so keep the faith motherfucker…
These pictures are old but I had no choice to post them because this is more of a public service announcement to let you know to keep your kids away from her. Think of this as the pedophile watch in your hometown that identifies and notifies you when the pedophile moves in so parents don’t hire the new neighbor to babysit, only it’s really nothing at all like that.
She churns out kids like she’s a fucking baby factory and I am convinced that she does it because she’s trying to create a master race in her image, because we all know that she’s some weird religious cunt who found god when alone in the woods in Survivor and ever since then she’s been down fucking hill into crazy land.
I will admit that I watched that season of Survivor, i thought she was hot, I liked her bandana shirt with her nipples always hard out of excitement of being on the camera. But they always edited out pretty much anything she had to say, which was a good thing for us but not so good for her and she had to find another way to spread her word. So now she’s followed what she thinks is god’s plan for her to pollute housewives every fucking day with her bullshit on the view, winning them over to her team and now she’s working her way through the kids of America. So I guess she may not be a sex offender but she is a threat.
Point of this post is to say that Elizabeth Hasselback is a fucking cult and she’s even luring me in with her cameltoe exposed to a room full of kids. I know that if that was you and you were up there reading a kids book with your dick in hand, or even with just a hard on in your DJ AM’s (that means bicycle shorts for those in the know), you’d probably get arrested. Instead this bitch gets praised be because she confuses us into thinking she’s got good intentions and that she’s a fucking hero.
SO for an old set of pictures no one will like and that everyone has seen because I was out of town, I spent a little too much time writing this. But I guess I just had to get the word out. Cuddles.
I know that Pam Anderson was one of the lucky big breasted sluts who didn’t have to spend her career taking orders at the local hooters. She was one of those big breasted girls who was able to get in Playboy and land roles in shows like Baywatch that gave her celebrity status for having big tits, while most big breasted sluts were forced to work for tips or work the pole to pay off the tit implants but that didn’t stop her from reminding us all that she knows her role in the world.
Reality is that I am posting these pictures because seeing drunk old ladies is a bit of a fetish of mine. Whenever I get to a bar and see them in the corner alone, preying on young dudes with their tits flopping all over the place, I am compelled to watch like shit’s something you’d see on the nature channel. I know that unsuspecting dudes can’t fight off their years of training with men and when a bitch tells you to fuck her it’s pretty hard to say no, especially when you know she’s got a husband at home and a lot of experience and pent up sex drive that will destroy your cock.
I am also posting these because bitch has a pretty controlled cameltoe going down, and this is the kind of girl who you’d expect to see vagina lips hanging out of the bottom of her shorts, and having such a big vagina under control and seemingly normal sized is something worth celebrating. Maybe it’s something that takes years to master and that skill is probably part of the reason she made it to where she has today…
Eva Longoria is in Europe preparing for her wedding or getting married or on her honeymoon or for some reason that doesn’t really matter because whatever she’s doing, she’s rocking a bikini. I was never a big fan of Eva Longoria, probably because I am Mexican and I am not into my own kind. All I see when I look at her is my grandmother, a short stalky bitch making tortillas for her 8 kids in our ratty ass kitchen when I was 5. I just assume that’s where Longoria will end up and although I loved my grandmother, I never really wanted to marry her or bang her if you know what I mean.
I used to hang out with this black dude who was stealing money from the store he was night manager at. He used to take us out to stripclubs every single night and pay for everything. He told us that his mother had died and left him a couple hundred thousand dollars and that he wanted to spend it on having a good time. I didn’t feel guilty about letting him blow all his money on us because I figured I was therapeutic to him and if you want my company you just have to take me to the strippers. Either way, I am not a heartless asshole and when dude finally got arrested I felt relieved that the money he was spending wasn’t his to begin with, it made all those drunken nights a lot more fun to be a part of because the guilt was gone.
Anyway, dude used to get so fucking mad when black strippers would get up on stage. He wanted more out of his people and thought they were just living a cliche. The condition of going out with him was to pay no attention to the black strippers because shit personally offended him. I feel the same way about Longoria, she’s a disgrace to our people but at least she’s rockin’ a camel toe showing off that her taco isn’t as meaty as the tacos she grew up on.
Nothing says I am a piece of Florida trash that would have become a stripper if my dad let me because being a stripper has been my dream for my entire cheesy slut life that when I sit alone in my room I put on assless pants and pretend that I was rocking the pole until I realized that if I became a talentless hack of a popstar with my dad’s money funding my career, I can do my stripper routine in my assless pants on stage for lots of people to see that my fat ass is less fat than it was when I started to live my fucking dream. It’s actually a typical situation for a girl who no one wanted to fuck because they thought she was worth fucking, but instead fucked her because her dad is a fucking legend in the WWF, which may not be saying much, but I know some of you would still let Hulk Hogan give you a hot oil massage, not because you are gay, but because you are lonely and human touch is something you’re yearning for….Either way, always being second lead her to emotional eating that turned her fat until she realized that she could make a name for herself and started to hit the fucking treadmill and that is my theory on this slut.
Who the fuck is Noemie Lenoir? Someone google that shit because I am too distracted chatting with guys pretending to be a 14 year old girl in some chat room trying to set up meetings in the park because I want to do my own stepOFFENDER feature and I figured that’d be a good place to start, then I realized that I may end up luring in one of you, because I think it’s safe to say, my readers are fucking strange.
I made friends with a girl who had a black on blonds fetish, I have seen these kinds of girls around, the blond chick on the arm of some thug. I just assumed that it was mainly strippers dating black dudes because of the whole stripper lifestyle being gangster. I have also seen the pretty obese looking white girls who are with black dudes, but I thought was just because black dudes are the only dudes with dicks big enough to get around their fat asses, so I always thought black on blond porn was designed for black dudes, but I never really stopped to think that black dudes aren’t on the internet, they are out and about doing black things like driving around in Escalades and standing on the street corner rapping to each other and that this porn is really designed for blond girls to get off to…how twisted is that….I am still convinced girls don’t watch porn….so it was like a revelation, if you’re wondering where the tie into the post is, this bitch’s name means “the black” in english and based on these pics I have no idea if she’s black or white, she’s all Michael Jacksoned and I am confused….
I do know that she’s got some major mound exposed…it’s all toe for you…
