Every girl seems to want to be a model. I always meet girls who are aspiring models. It seems like it’s the thing to do or at least the dream job for a chick because it assures them that they are good looking. Every fucking day I come across a girl’s posed pictures on the internet and I know she’s just wishing she’ll be walking the runway and traveling the world while fucking dudes in bands or actors, living in Penthouse apartments and making huge money for having pictures taken of them.

I know that out of all the girls I meet who are aspiring models, pretty much none of them are really going to make it, because to be scouted by the right dude and thrown into the right jobs is almost like winning the lottery, but I always encourage them to come over to take some erotic pictures in my shitty apartment when my wife’s grocery shopping because I know that means I have about 6 hours of freedom because my wife loves food, but that’s just because I prey on girls who want to be famous.

Either way, the ongoing joke I have with these young girls is to start off small, like doing the Wal Mart flyer or the Sears catalog, because shit pays well and is better than working at the grocery store scanning my wife’s canned goods….But for some reason these aspiring models have egos and think they are too hot for that shit before even getting started, they don’t realize they need to eat the shit a bit to get to the top and that they aren’t above or too pretty for anything at this point in their career and that’s why I figure that you’ve gotta start somewhere and it might as well be in my bathtub.

So here’s Cindy Crawford in 1989, in a Bloomingdales Catalog modeling lingerie before she became a supermodel, because everyone’s gotta start somewhere. Who knows where her life would be now if she didn’t make that move, so aspiring models….my bathtub is ready and waiting but you may not want to touch it too much, you may catch something.