Here’s a video of Alyssa Milano Naked in some recent movie called Pathology. Her nude scene is her dead and getting cut open in some sort of autopsy and it’s pretty fucking sick but you can still see pussy. I assume that some of you are fucked up enough to find this hot as you spent most of your childhood killing your neighborhood cats and other random animals that would cross paths with you and you haven’t quite moved onto bigger things yet, because you aren’t that much of a psycho and you just leave the psychotic thoughts for your masturbation.

I was talking to my friend the other day and he told me about how he plays a game called “Would You” with his friends. It’s basically where different scenarios are laid out and you decide whether you’d d fuck the chick or not. One of the weirder ones was if you’re driving down an old dirt road in the middle of nowhere and you come across a passed out 18 year old hot girl in a mini skirt is lying on the side road like she had been hit by a car or something and you pull over to help her, do you bang her or do you call or help or do you bang her then call for help. I guess fucking a passed out chick is a lot less disgusting than fucking a dead chick, most of the chicks I’ve banged were passed out by by booze or drugs and not by getting hit by a car, so I wouldn’t do it and I’d get her help, but I bet you’re not as wholesome as me you horny fuckin’ creep.

In an era with so much porn and so many fucking sluts, I am surprised that I am posting a picture of some slut in a push up bra, but I am anyway. There’s something that reminds me of a middle aged jewish man in these pictures and I am not sure what it is, maybe it is the Seinfeld pants. Speaking of jews, I linked up a make-up company last week for free make-up for my stepdaughter and they emailed me back saying they couldn’t deliver. This is what I wrote to them:

Dear Make-Up Company Rep,

I told my stepdaughter that I got her a gift, I missed her birthday last year and spend all my money on lottery tickets and whiskey so I was excited about this free package. I was trying to redeem myself and work my way into her heart because I heard that winning over her heart leaves me one step away from her vagina. When she turns 18, I am totally planning on stuffin’ her like thanksgiving turkey and this make-up kit was my ticket. I guess I’ll just have to get roofies like I always do.

If you can’t pull through it’s fine. It will break her heart but it’s not a big deal…I guess we all have to learn that Santa doesn’t exist sometime. Unless you are jewish in which case Santa never really did exist.

Just remember, you are the biggest cockblock I have ever met and I hate you.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com