The big news of the day that no one cares about is that Paris Hilton is fucking Benji Madden. He is one of the Good Charlotte Twin Sisters, the only twin sisters you don’t want to see fuckin’ each other because they actually have penises but are still gayer than fucking gay. I can assume that it all started in the womb when one of them used the other’s developing penis as a pacifier or maybe it was when they were curious teenage boys with a dream of pop stardom and a libido that couldn’t be satisfied unless each other’s dick were in their mouths….some people have blanket for comfort, like Fergie sang about, other people suck their thumbs and the maddens suck each other’s dick….maybe it’s normal, I’m not a twin.

Either way, Paris has moved in on her best friend’s baby daddy’s twin and that’s some incestuous shit. I guess when you throw your vagina at someone with a broken heart, it’s pretty hard to get rejected. Sure he is on the rebound from recently broke up with a much hotter Sophie Monk, but the real broken heart happened when his brother left him for little boy Richie and knocked her up, forcing them to only get in each other’s mouths at family functions….it’s a sad story, but not as sad as the day Paris calls him with the pregnancy test results and he finds out that he was just part of a scheme trying to outdo her friend and steal some of her glory by becoming sisters in law, instead of sisters in spirit. Maybe he can get another gay tattoo to remember this day by….because he’s that kind of loser….

I got hate mail from someone defending Jennifer Garner saying that I don’t respect her because she isn’t a little tart and that she can actually act. They went on to say how I hate women who aren’t sluts and have talent. My answer to her is that if Jennifer Garner could act, she would have more of a career than her piece of shit Alias show. If she wasn’t a slut, she wouldn’t let men she wasn’t married to drop load in her box like it was moving day and if I hated women who had talent I’d never have had good sex in my life because talent comes in many forms and I like the ones that feel best.

I am all for girls who are good at what they do, but when being good at acting is their “talent” I don’t really take it seriously because in life there are much more substantial things to be talented in, whether it is singing, painting, caring for sick kids, or giving me an amazing blowjob, not that I’d really enjoy it that much since I can’t get it up.

If it makes you people who think I am a woman hater happy, I just want you to know that I also hate dudes with no talent. This Good Charlotte brother is as equally lame as his twin brother and he may be baggin’ a hot chick but hot chicks generally like losers and that doesn’t mean he’s good at what he does.

I like to think it’s got something to do with hot chicks like dudes with lots of money. I guess it could also have to do with them having huge cocks. I have yet to meet a dude who is totally down to earth with a big cock. I am not a cock expert and I don’t check out dudes I meet, but I do know that every dude I’ve met who has told me or who a chick has told me had a huge cock has been just as big a cunt as the kind of cunt his meat needs to fit in. I remember reading something about intelligence being directly related to genital size, and I know that if I had a huge cock, I wouldn’t be sitting at a computer all day writing a site all day, I’d be out showing it to girls.

Big dick or not, this Madden can’t hid the fact that he fucking sucks behind his tattoos but I’d still watch the sex tape because Sophie Monk is may not be smart enough to not sleep with this fool, but she does keep her distance in public and that’s one step closer to dumping him.