I don’t know if this upskirt is old or new, because Britney’s not one for trying to keep her legs crossed, proven with the fact that she’s got two kids and all the pictures that have hit over the last couple years, but she’s wearing underwear, which makes me think they are newer, since her dad does an underwear check before she leaves the house everyday, not because he’s trying to clean up her image, but because he likes seeing the pussy he made, like he’s God or some shit, which is okay since he’s from the South and her pussy is like his pick-up truck, he can ride it anytime he wants.

What he didn’t tell Britney is that she’s got the hairiest backs of her thigh out there, and that’s not really something that makes me think clean, hygenic or shaved. I was walking in the gay part of town lookin’ for some tranny whores last night and one of the latina ones was wearing a mini skirt half way down his ass and no panties, dude was showing about 3/4 of his ass like he was a frat boy mooning the campus as part of his hazing, and his shit was groomed better than Britney’s and dude gives blowjobs in alley’s for 20 bucks, making me think she’s really go no excuse for this disgusting laziness.

Either way, here are the pics….

I was convinced that something was in the air on Saturday night that made everyone fucking crazy. I am not sure what it was, but maybe I was wasted and having some kind of psychological / paranoid episode where I just thought everyone around me was acting weird, like the time I did mushrooms and ended up trying to take a nap in the middle of a highway before my friend with me saved my life about 30 seconds before I would have got run the fuck over, or the time I did bad E and it put kicked me in the ass and made me sit in the corner of the all nice dance party I was at, scared of everyone who came by because they had skeleton faces and I thought they were trying to rape my soul. I figured it was a full moon or something, but turned out that it wasn’t and when I was out, I saw a bouncer get smashed in the head with a beer bottle by a kid who weighed about 140 pounds and who was quickly taken outside and beaten the fuck up, I saw kids on the street kicking the fuck out of BMW X5 and trying to throw punches at the driver before the driver threw his drink all over them, pulled a U-turn and ran over their feet, I saw the dude I invited home with me in his underwear because he had lost his pants before realizing that I didn’t want a dude in his underwear to be the only motherfucker at my hot tub party and a dude I know had a gun pulled on him because he went home with some guy’s girlfriend and the guy found out, but by far the strangest event that went down on Saturday was that Britney Spears put on a bra under her see through shirt so that no one could see her dumpy, aimin’ to the ground, mom nipples….

Britney Spears wears her brown bikini to erase her potential shit stains from not wiping her ass properly which is the same reason why my wife used to wear red underwear for the week of her period back before she gave up on life and would take the time to use tampons instead of what she does now that pretty much makes anywhere she sits or lays down look like a murder scene. I guess this is Britney’s way of telling the world that she hasn’t fully given up yet and there’s still more of her to give us.

The whole thing reminds me of opening my fridge yesterday out of dire hunger and finding absolutely nothing to eat, because my wife beat me to it, but opened the vegetable crisper out of desperation, only to find 2 rotten cucumbers that had probably been there for 6 months, not quite long enough to be dried up and easy to clean. After gagging at the fuckin’ smell that was worse than any rank pussy I’ve met, I figured if I don’t clean it no one will and leaving it there for another 6 months wasn’t condusive to getting my life together. Now I am not the best cleaner or most coordinated person out there so as I tried dumping it into an old grocery bag, I missed and shit exploed all over the floor, polluting the air with rotten cucumber smell and a brown gel like substance that was once nutritious eats. As I scrubbed the floor like the bitch that I am, all I could think about was that this was probably exatly what Britney’s underwear looks like when it isn’t all brown, strategically selected by her stylist to help clean up her dirty little image.

Britney Spears has really made a comeback and that upsets me. I was so happy when I found out that she wasn’t this cookie cutter popstar and actually had some mental issues, that I now think were just staged and an extension of being a lazy rich brat and not actual mental illness, and I hate seeing her leaving the gym everyday, slowly getting back to where she once was, becasue I like my women crazy. I am talking feces throwing, running around naked crazy because crazy girls are crazy in bed and well put together, mentally stable girls are just fuckin’ boring. So, I need a girl who pisses herself in public places just because she feels like it and smells like a men’s washroom without a urinal cake at all times because the snowsuit she wears in the middle of summer hasn’t been washed in a decade, just because I know she’ll be too busy punching herself in the face to say no to me.

The funny thing about seeing Britney riding a horse in Cabo has nothing to do with beastiality, but more with her finally knowing what every guy that fucked her in the fat, depressed, unwashed years felt like, if anything the only difference about the Horse and Britney at her worst is that when the horse pisses and shits itself, it doesn’t make a mess of the bed sheets.

These pictures reminded me of something that happened yesterday. I was sitting on the stoop minding my own business and some chick rides up to me on a bike. She tells me that she forgot her lock and needs someone to watch her shit. I told her that I would be sitting there for a while, because I have nothing better to do, but I am not someone she should trust, because if the offer comes up I will sell it for drug money. She left it with me anyway and I thought of all the different ways I could get back at her for giving me this repsonsibility. I could give it away or put a sign on it that says “take me”, I could hide it, or I could take the air out of the tires to just be a dick. Instead I convinced my pervert friend who I was with to sniff the seat when she came to get the bike, just to make her feel awkward about the whole thing so he did it and I laughed.

So Britney Spears is in Cabo with her hired friends and dancers training hard for their big VMA performance I heard about on the radio. I could be wrong and these pictures could be old and the hired gay dude may actually be one of her “real” friends and not an employee or someone trying to ride her coat tails and get some media attention, but it doesn’t matter because she looks amazing. This is just further proof that if you throw a bitch in the gym for 6 months and force photographer to put on a grainy lens, she totally looks worth fucking, but in all fairness to Britney’s slow dive into the gutter, none of us can small the smells she’s releasing or see the brown stains around her pussy on her nice white bikini, so her hard work in being insane and giving up on life hasn’t fully gone to waste, as long as she stays out of the pool because she wouldn’t want the chlorine may to kill off the bacterial build-up collection, it’s taken 2 years to make and it can’t go to waste….

Either, I wish they made glasses that had the same effect that I could use on my wife because if they did, I am sure my penis would still work like a normal, vibrant, sober 40 year old man. I know I am boring today, but it’s monday and I hate you as much as I hate this computer.

The paparazzi managed to climb some trees and get these pictures of Britney in a bikini because they are criminals. I am just posting them because I have to, it’s like sex with my wife…every once in a while you gotta give in to the disgusting that is her vagina, as to not throw off the stability and constant comfort that is my life. I figure if I don’t go down on her pink little trash can of a pussy every couple of months, she’ll cut me off and the free ride will end and I’ll have to leave the site and work a normal job and support myself and that’s something I would rather eat gross pussy than do. So here’s some Britney slowly bouncing back to something good…real fuckin’ slowly bouncing back…but bouncing nonetheless…

I got Britney’s back on this shit, because I know everyone is going to tear her apart because she’s smoking in front of her kid and it’s all part of continuing to publicly rape her because she’s been getting raped the last couple years, and people are used to it. It’s one of those, once a rapist always a rapist situation because it’s hard to go back to your normal sex because rape starts to feel good and becomes that norm making moving not really an option.

The reality is that this is Britney Spears and she’s out on her porch, in her backyard having a smoke and her kid comes out and plays with her pack of cigarettes and she pulls the shit away from the kid. If you ask me, that’s good parenting and people need to lighten the fuck up. If she was giving the kid tequila shots and shoving the cigarette down the its throat like my foster parents did to me when I had an ear infection and they couldn’t afford tylenol or antibiotics and figured that smoking and booze would calm my nerves and shut me up when I was 8, or they’d drive around with all the windows of the car rolled up for me to inhale the shit, which didn’t phase me as much as when they’d crawl into bed with me and make me a sick prop in their sex lives, or when they’d beat the fuck out of me because they were having a bad fucking day.

Sure it’s a different time and we know second hand smoke kills and probably doesn’t give her kids a great example to follow, you know like them time she kidnapped them and locked them in a room with her when she was in hysterics crazily shaving her head, crying and laughing and screaming all at the same time in a manic episode. Smoking is the least of the kid’s worries, we should just celebrate the fact that she hasn’t gone through with a murder suicide like this bipolar ex hooker I once knew yet. We should also celebrate the fact that she’s in a fucking bikini because that’s all that really matters to me, I guess i am just insensitive to kids because I hate the little leeches.

What it comes down to is that people need to lighten the fuck up.

So Britney Spears probably isn’t fucking anyone right now and hasn’t waxed or shaved her asshole and I don’t think it’s really that big of a deal, mainly because I come from an era where normal chicks never waxed and I was like some kind of British High Society game hunter in Africa on some kind of safari trying to tame the beast, and by tame the beast I mean find the fuckin’ prize hidden behind the elements on more than one occasion. I am talking girls so fuckin’ hairy you would think their pussies were some kind of animal or even a substitute for underwear and that shit never stopped me, so seeing some ass hair poking out of Britney’s underwear doesn’t phaser me, but if I saw shit stuck to that ass hair this post would be a little less accepting of her laziness.

The paparazzi are after me again, so I’ve been laying low. I got hit for every single post I did yesterday. You’d think they’d be too busy running after celebrities to bother with people like me, but I guess they’re making so much money off these fuckers they can afford a staff to cover all angles, and by all angles I mean climbing trees in Britney’s backyard to snap off these pics of her.

Either way, she’s in a bikini and people say she looks pregnant, I say she just looks fat, but the good kind of fat that isn’t floppy and cellulite ridden, so she’s not disgusting to look at. What is disgusting is that I heard that she’s still got an unborn 6 month old dead fetus in her from the last pregnancy that hasn’t been removed because she is emotionally attached to it or some shit and that story may be a lie but it at least it also explains the smell she’s been exuding. It’s one of those kill 2 birds with one AIDS dick situation.

When I see Britney Spears in Costa Rica, I think about how much the salt water must burn her pussy, but that burn probably goes away after the infection caused by leaving a tampon in for 3 months because she forgot it inside her clears up, leaving her vibrant and fresh smelling for a change and by vibrant and fresh smelling I mean fat but not too fat.

I am convinced that in 6 months from now, Britney is going to be fit and as hot as she used to be but a little more fun to fuck than she used to be because crazy girls are wild in bed and 18 year old popstars are too shy and insecure to show you a good time, making it feel like you are raping her everytime you fuck her, which is something she needs to go through to get to the point of crazy that makes her good in bed,

So don’t believe everything you read, those rumors that rape ruin people is just bad publicity for rape, because every girl I know who has unwillingly had sex with a man because she was drunk or asleep needed that to teach her what guys really want. Don’t get me wrong, I am not talking about the kind of rape that leaves a girl passed out in a ditch or parking garage battered with a pair of bloody panties and turns her into a lesbian, I am talking about the good kind of rape that is more of an educational experience that happens on dates across america on a regular basis.

Either way, here’s Britney in Costa Rica, I wonder if she’s had a chance to play with the monkeys, you know dressing them up and pretending they are her babies that the law wrongfully took her away and left her broken down and a disaster that I want to bang, but I have no standards.

I was walking home drunk around 4 am the other day and the cops decided to come hassle me. As I was talking to them trying to avoid getting arrested by telling them I am just walking home and that I don’t want trouble and shit, this crackhead black chick who was clearly pregnant and completely fucked out of her tree on whatever the fuck drugs she was on rides her bike by us, if you can call what she was doing riding a bike, it was more like swerving in and out of traffic on some kind of death ride like a drunken, drugged up pregnant chick on a bike would ride a bike. As soon as she sees the fuckin’ cops and me she panics, drops the bike and runs in the opposite direction. I try to tell the cops that I think they are wasting their time with me because this chick is obviously on drugs, obviously stole that bike and is ditching it and is obviously up to no fuckin’ good because she saw cops and is fleeing but instead of letting innocent me go home to check out the criminal, they ended up getting mad at me for trying to videotape the bitch and for telling them how to do their job and gave me some public drunkeness ticket. It’s like when I see cops giving out speeding tickets to people going 50 in a school zone, while there are people making meth in their basements to sell to those kids. It’s nice to see the pigs have their priorities straight.

Speaking of priorities, it looks like Britney’s are completely set striaght, because I know how a bad wipe or hemorrhoids can takeover someone’s life. I live with an obese woman and scratching her ass seems to be something she does more than eating bags of chips with her unwashed asshole smelling fingers. It’s pretty gross when my wife does it, but I think it’s hot when Britney does it because she’ may look like ghetto trash but she’s rich and that means her shit is more valuable than my wife’s poverty shit and you can probably smell that difference in their stained week old panties.