Brooke Hogan looks more like she’s on her way to wrestle a bear for a group of Russian soldiers who are already drunk off vodka and in the mood to see a big burly woman’s strength before gang raping her, because when a woman can fight off a bear, she should theoretically be able to fight off 20 men with erections, and if she loses, then she gets dicked, and a lot less like Florida Trailer Park Trash,
I assume she got plastic surgery in hopes of looking more like the girl his dad’s done gone off with, leaving her all alone and scared while feeling undesirable as both her career and family life fall the fuck apart and daddy won’t make her feel nice in her special place like he has done all these years, because he’s found a new Blonde young chick to bang and who is more socially acceptable to bang than bangin his daughter.
It reminds me of a 70’s porn I used to watch to lift my spirits called “Sharon”. It was a story of a girl who was jealous that her dad was fucking her hotter sister, leading her to lose her virginity with a man who picked her up while hitchiking, and her dad to continue to fuck the hotter sister comparing her pussy to her mother’s and other twisted shit that touched on themes of inadequacy and parental approval, incest and sexual disovery that made it almost Academy Award worthy, if only it wasn’t shot on the first ever video camera ever made and if only it wasn’t porn, shit would have had a whole different impact on the world than it has.
I wish I could find a copy of that movie, it was a classic that never got the recognition it deserved, unlike Brooke Hogan, who is pretty much the opposite and for the slow ones out there, that means she’s trash that got more airtime than she ever deserved.
Either way, check out Brooke Hogan’s tits and ball bulge in her white pants on the beach….
PS - I have a fever so if what I write makes no sense, it’s cuz I am dying, ya fuckin’ Pervert.
I was talking to someone about Brooke Hogan’s staged bikini pictures yesterday, not because I talk about any of this shit outside of my computer, but because I was bitching about staged paparazzi shit. I mean there was a time when celebs actually hated the paparazzi and didn’t just pretend to hate them. A time where there were actually being intruded on and caught in the fuckin’ act, but that was a different era. Today all people care about is being seen and usually to make that happen you need to pull a crazier stunt than the next guy. That usually ends up in sex tapes and bikini pictures, nipple slips and panty shots.
It’s kinda like everytime I’m in a bar and trying to get a girls attention, only there are 10 other dudes up on her running the nice guy game, so the only way to make sure she remembers me is to offend her or throw my drink on her or punch her in the face because I have no plan to go home with the girl or buy her drinks, I just feel the need for her to know who I am.
So the fun of trying to ruin celebrity lives runs to the wayside/wasteside, because they are staging this shit themselves because it generates buzz and that sucks, but not as much as it sucks to be the guy banging Brooke Hogan because he hasn’t come to terms with his sexuality and I feel like living a lie is worse that taking it up the ass. She kind of the gateway girl to coming out, at least she’s finally found her purpose.
Yesterday’s news was that Brooke Hogan hasn’t turned down an offer to show off her manly muscles in Playboy. I originally thought it was weird that she was entertaining the offer, not because she doesn’t need the publicity push since her heyday is pretty much expired and is already a hasbeen before ever really being anyone, but because her dad’s always against her pictures being “too sexy” for lad mags and shows up on set to make sure everything is at the acceptable level of slut.
An insider close to the family told me that Hulk actually approached Playboy because Brooke is finally starting to catch onto the fact that it’s not normal for him to watch her and masturbate while she showers or for him to hide in the closet while and watch her as she fucks or even for him to “accidentally” walk in on her everytime she’s changing, and he just wants to have some photographic tastefully shot images that he can sneak into the bathroom with him whenever he needs to get off without having to deal with Brooke’s questions when she realizes his behavior’s been inappropriate.
I heard that he even thought about hiring a photographer to do the shots for him, but without sound reason or purpose, the photographer refused the job because it was creepy and this is Playboy shit is his last real option to cum to his little girl’s pussy hair and make some money in the process….
Either way, here are some staged bikini pictures because this girl is trying hard, and the whole staged pictures phenomenon really takes away from the joy of posting candid shots that I used to love doing. It’s like the publicists caught on to the fact that sexy or sleazy gets noticed and they decided to fabricate sexy or sleazy situations in hopes of getting the same results, but it’s just too fucking obvious and breaks my heart in doing what I do.
I realize why Hulk Hogan wants to fuck his daughter and that’s just because no one else will. He’s just being a caring dad who can’t accept that he produced something so fucking ugly but still wants the best for his baby and doesn’t want her self-esteem to dwindle into suicidal rage, so he gives her the normal male attention a girl needs.
He realizes that no dudes ever call his girl back after they have their way with her while drunk and the family try to rationalize it by blaming it on the fear of getting confronted by her overbearing, wrestling dad and they aren’t man enough to take him own in the backyard wrestling ring for her hand in marriage or some weird ritualistic shit that goes down in the trailer parks of Tampa Bay. But that’s just what they want to believe. The truth is the first dude who comes along and sticks with this bitch after sticking it to her will get to go on a shopping spree with the Hulkster and get all the crazy pants his heart desires, making her dowry something equally as trashy as her, but the sad truth is that I’ve fucked ugly chicks for less return.
She’s big, has a broken down chevy of a face, the kind you find in the backyard acting a place for illegitimate kids to play and a pick up truck body to match. She has no real talent or future, just an inheritance, which is good enough for me, but doesn’t take away from the fact that she has no ass at all, her legs kinda just mutate into her very broad back. Even after taking the same path of many inadequate girls that only a daddy would love and getting a pair of fake tits to compensate, she’s even gone so far as to get in shape and lose the fat she was hiding behind all her life only to find out that she is still a waste of time for annyone with any dignity. For the record, I have no dignity.
I am not sure if she’s the header picture of the girl in the white bikini, because I am not even sure if that’s a girl or just Hulk Hogan incognito, but I had to post it mainly out of fear but also to help you come to terms with your homosexuality in babysteps.
I guess Brooke Hogan’s pop career didn’t really take off the way she wanted it to, because this past weekend she was booked to perform Mansion, a nightclub in Miami that is probably not too far from her house. It’s kinda like the time your friend who wanted to start a band got his big break playing the local highschool’s dance. I guess the only positive thing about all this is that she’s wearing lingerie to distract us from her shitty singing, like she was a Pussycat Doll and I am all for girls embracing their innerslut and turning it on as a desperate attempt to get ahead.
Here are some pics of her in Miami before her big show…
Here are some pics of her muscular legs from last week….
Brooke Hogan brought her muscles to Maxim for this boring photoshoot. I can only assume that Hulk paid them to give her the press for her birthday or that Maxim are slowly going bankrupt because no one buys magazines and are taking what they can get.
Her dad showed up on the set of the shoot to make sure she doesn’t show off too much skin, apparetly he’s like a jealous boyfriend who doesn’t want other men to appreciate the luscious curves he’s been appreciating since she hit puberty. I remember a dude I knew who would go nuts when his chick tanned topless in front of me, he thought it was the end of the fucking world that I knew what her tits looked like and that if I wanted to, I could jerk off to them knowing exactly what he was playing with everynight. I feel like this Hulk control issues stem from the same evil green monster.
These pictures are some awkward fuckin’ pictures of Brooke Hogan being rubbed down by her dad and not of her dad’s new girlfriend who looks like an older version of Brooke Hogan and a younger version of his wife. It’s been joked that he is dating an older version of his daughter because he has some kind of sick incestuous fantasy he’s got, like the first porn I saw called “Sharon” that was an incest porn from the 70s where the dad said classic lines like “this is the shit that made you going back in you” and “you sure didn’t learn how to suck dick from your mother” or “I’m going to come in your ass cuz I don’t want no bastard babies running around the house” but to be fair to Hulk, he’s a piece of trash and this is what pieces of trash pussy looks like.
I think he’s just knows how to tan properly and it’s his kind of right of passage to his daughter, you know showing her the right way to get ‘er done before he dies. It’s like seeing a butcher teach his kid how to cut meat or a farmer teaching his kid how to tend the fields, in some kind of passing the torch over to the next generation and its not sexual like the time he jerked off to watching her changing from the crack in her door or the time he accidentally walked in on her in the shower, despite having 4 other bathrooms in the house, or the time he took her virginity so she’d know how to do it proper. Maybe it’s some in love with yourself shit, where fucking something you made isn’t wrong, it’s masturbation but no matter what this genetic sexual attraction shit is, it makes me uncomfortable.
It’s a lot like the time I saw a kid rubbing his mom down with lotion at some public pool - Watch It
Here’s some pictures of Brooke Hogan with her manly boyfriend out in a bikini when he should be the one in the bikini. She’s been forced to tan outside since her parents are having a bitter custody battle over their tanning beds. At least she’s been able to emotionally eat her way through this whole mess….
Brooke Hogan is sad that her parents are staging a divorce and that her dad is running around with her older friend and mentor because bitches look the same. She’s so upset that the attention isn’t on her that’s she’s gone out and peed herself like a 2 year old kid because she knows that will get mommy and daddy’s attention and in some juvenile way, hopes that her emotional breakdown will bring their family together.
I never understood why kids were such pussies about their parents splitting up. It seems like a way better situation to be in. You don’t have to listen to the fuckers fight all the time, you have two homes so you can always escape whichever parent is pissing you off and the guilt your parents have for being failures by starting a family with someone they wrongfully thought they would stay with and the social shitstain they’ve become in their community leads to overcompensation that usually comes in the form of a lot of gifts. Whenever I see a kid cry about his parent’s divorcing I always laugh at how self-important people are, like their little bullshit family unit is relevant to the rest of the fuckin’ world and they should just look on the fuckin’ brightside instead of pulling a Lohan and blaming the divorce for her self-destruction. Shit’s fuckin’ weak so Brooke Hogan better pull the fuckin’ diaper up, shut the fuck up and film a fuckin’ sex tape because I want to know if she’s actually got a pussy or not because she’s broad and I like to think that’s the only revenge I can see fitting to show her parent’s how their failed marriage destroyed her that benefits me.
It’s pretty clear that Hulk Hogan likes a big woman who can handle being thrown around in the bedroom like the men he used to throw around in the ring. He also seems to like fake blonde hair, fake tits and a fake tan. It seems like his wife fit that description, then he bred his daughter to look that way and now the girl he is fucking as a distraction from his son being a murderer looks that way too.
Now, I have heard of girls dating dudes who remind them of their dads, or girls who get off to dudes who look kinda like their brothers and I’ve always been pretty uncomfortable with that but I figure when you’re from Florida trailer parks it’s pretty much par for the course, not to mention every piece of trash who works in the dinner on the interstate or at the local strip club fits the criteria so I guess it’s just some kind of creepy coincidence.
Either way, here are some pictures of Hulk and his girlfriend who looks like a younger version of his wife and an older version of his daughter and the real sad thing about the pictures is that her dick is bigger than yours.
I was going to live blog the Academy Awards, then I realized that it would be more exciting to Live Blog a a fucking funeral because shit is equally depressing but at least at a funeral you can seduce a mourning new widow to get in your bed and suck your dick in her recent vulnerable state.
I tried to watch 5 minutes of the shit, but turned it off because I don’t have a TV and was forced to go to this queer 80 year old neighbor’s house, when dude pulled out his dick and started jerking off to Jane Russell or some other hot pussy from his day, I figured it was time to book.
To lighten the post Oscar depression, here are some pictures of Brooke Hogan acting a fool with her fake tits that she tries to pretend aren’t fake tits on the beach. Despite her amazing beach dance moves, she will never win an Oscar, but at least she’s already won our hearts. Right….
Brooke Hogan’s a pretty thick girl, but one that you’d still want to fuck based on her pictures, not because of her hot ass or good new fake tits she got while her brother was out totaling cars and crippling people, but because she’s Hulk Hogan’s daughter and your first taste of gay porn was watching his ripped greased up body rubbing up against other ripped greased up bodies in their underwear, and things have never really been the same for you since. I bet you’re lookin’ at these pics trying to find her dick you fucking homo.
