Celine Dion is a hero where I live, shes the French Canadian who made it into the big leagues, a local talent who doesn’t live at home or do much for home, because she peaced the first chance she got, but knowing she is from the same shitty poverty low class roots as them keeps them going as they drive their compact 20 year old car to the local chicken restaurant they work at.

Like all French girls I know, other than my wife, who obviously has some kind of genetic disorder that I didn’t know about when I married her, she looks worth fucking in her bikini. For some reason, French chicks don’t really get fat no matter how badly they eat, they just always have these slim bodies that eventually start hanging off their bones in some kind of slim-fat aging mess, but when dressed shit looks pretty tight. I guess my idea of french girls is a little biased, since the only ones I know are career strippers who rock the pole, chain smoke and eat french fries and gravy, french toast, french salad dressing and drink excessively while jacked on coke.

The only exciting thing I know about French girls is their passion and love for getting fucked anally on the first date, they are pretty open to sex and laid back about the shit, meaning you don’t have to promise to take them to a subtitled movie so you can both enjoy it. They are low maintenance, and don’t expect flowers or jewelry, you just have to bring her a chocolate bar and promise to pay for the aborition if you knock her up and bitch is naked.

It’s also socially acceptable to fuck at 14 and legal for 50 year olds to fuck 14 year olds, it’s a cultural thing you’d probably appreciate, but that’s just because the young girls won’t judge your small penis because compared to the 14 year cock they’ve been getting, yours is average sized.

I heard that Celine Dion’s husband was her married neighbor when she was growing up and who slammed her when she was 14 and his wife was at church, before dude mortgaged his house to record her first album and make them all rich and making her father not run dude over with his snowplow.

BONUS - SOME MORE OF HER IN A ONE-PIECE

Celine Dion is not worth jerking off to, but that’s unfortunate because I know french chicks and french chicks are fucking dirty. They are the kind of girls who initiate sex with you as they grab at your cock in the bar begging to suck it and once you go home with them ask you to stick in in their asses before you even tell them you want to fuck them in the ass, because you only met them an hour earlier. They are just always one step ahead.

The other good thing about French chicks is that despite all the shitty food they eat, they always manage to look amazing until they are about 25, at which point all the smoking, cum shots, cocaine, and drinking catches up with their faces making them look like an old catcher’s mit but that body carries on until their second kid hits.

I guess the real reason you should want to fuck Celine or girls from the same heritage as Celine is because they start young, they go for old and most importantly, if you teach them some tricks can make you millions.

Here are the Celine Dion Bikini pictures that I have been waiting to see for 10 years. I don’t know when they were taken and I hate this bitch as much as you do but there’s just something magical about french chicks that you probably don’t understand because you don’t live in Montreal.

I’ll quickly explain because I figure it’s my role as the Number 1 Blog of Montreal to give you good reason to come to this city and that good reason is the french girls.

French girls are sluts, they are into sex and they are pretty fucking dirty girls in the bedroom. They are liberal, emotional and like anal and being naked. They don’t take much working on, you basically just need to catch them when they are horny or impress them by pretending you are famous because a lot of the french girls I have met have been from small shitty communities and work as bar maids or waitresses or strippers and are easily impressed. They spend their money on nice clothes, lookin good and going out instead of shit waspy corporate suburban trash spend their money on, like pant suits for the office car and mortgage payments and other expenses to ensure a dull fucking existence.

Majority of strippers in Montreal are french and have tight fucking bodies even though they only eat french fries and drink wine. They are genetically programmed to maintain a tight lookin’ figure well into their 50s even with chain smoking, hard livin’ and bad food. By the time they are 30, their faces usually look weathered and old like a wilted flower but their bodies scream 16 year old and the older they get the sluttier they get to try to hold onto their youthful years of multiple sex partners.

The only problem with french girls is that they don’t speak english, they hate english people and they don’t get my fucking jokes. Every french girl I try to talk to don’t get what I am saying and my shit goes way over their heads. When a sense of humor is all you’ve got, you’ll be going home alone, but if you’re older and richer, they are totally into having you for a daddy. Kinda like Celine did with her manager husband who tapped her ass at 14 before making her famous and leading her to believe that she’s nothing without him….