Charlize Theron gets bambarded by the paparazzi and thinks she looks ridiculous, so she hides behind her mom to protect her and tells us to look at her mom’s legs, well I didn’t really have a chance to do that, because I was too busy lookin’ at her mom’s tits in her cleavage exposing dress, because I figure why go for the unattainable when you can seduce her lonely mother who is secretly jealous of her daughter’s celebrity, because she wishes that when she was in her prime, she had the same kind of attention, and is instead forced to take Charlize’s sloppy seconds, when the real magic that is Charlize came from her vagina, so I am all for going to the source, especially when the source is well past it’s prime, desperate for approval, menopausal and unable to get knocked up, and a minx in bed from all the years of experience, the only challenge is ignoring her grey pubic hair, but that’s always been easy for me, because I am easily distracted by gaping old lady vagina….
Fuck ending the war in Iraq and terrorism, or stopping global warming by driving shitty cars and recycling, accepting others for their differences and all that other shit they want us to do to make the world a better place, the only way I see the world being a nicer place if more girls were made like Charlize Theron, even with her period bloat.
On a side note, the world would be a scary scary place, if more girls were made like Hayden Panettiere. There would be enough stumpy leg muscle to move mountains or at least a couple apartment complexes in a day, but I wouldn’t want to be watching that shit pop a squat and I’m always down to watch a girl squat, just last night I was trying to convince a girl to pee for me it didn’t happen and either will a world filled with Charlizes or Haydens and that’s enough of this stupid post.
I have a token gay blogger to attract more girls to the site because girls like fags. There was a time when I knew a kid who pretended to be fag to get laid. He would trick girls into taking him shopping and trying on clothes for him. In his 6 month experiment he saw more bare vagina than anyone I’ve met. When he told the girls he wanted to test out vagina, they’d all comply, cuz they thought they were so hot that a gay dude would go straight for them….what they didn’t realize is that was his game and he was running it on so many chicks….
So anyway, if girls like fags and I let fags write for the site, maybe girls will like me enough to send me vagina pictures…so my token gay blogger wrote about these pictures that I wouldn’t normally post about because they are fashion shots and they are boring, but since he’s gay, I’ll let it slide because I know that we’re different and I accept diversity….and because I don’t want him reporting me as a discriminating gay hating guy with a website who doesn’t pay him cuz that will work against this whole getting girls to send in vagina pictures….
Here is his post….
So I was at this bar the other night and it was really boring and this group of cunts are standing around going “You almost spilled you drink on my 3000 dollar suit. C’MON!” and “I asked you to get me another drink. C’MON!” Now, we are all aware that Arrested Development was a really funny show and that it’s a shame that it got cancelled and blah blah blah. But please, don’t sully it’s good name by fucking quoting it to death. If I see one more fucking frat boy doing JOB’s chicken dance in the middle of a bar will actually vomit. You might as well be talking like Borat while wearing a “Vote For Pedro” t-shirt.
Move the fuck on.
Here are some pics of Charlize Theron looking like a whore. She played a retard on Arrested Development.
In an act of desperation to find something decent to post today while hung the fuck over, I came across these Charlize Theron pics. Now they aren’t that interesting to look at, but if you really are desperate you’ll look really closely and see some barely there nipple action, but you’re used to being barely there, with your small penis and all.
I think Charlize Theron is hot and I remember learning about her in the 90s in Playboy. The first time I saw her was while taking a shit at some dude’s house who had the Playboy she was in next to the toilet. So despite relating this bitch to taking a mean shit, I did find her amazing to look at and any excuse to throw her up here is good enough for me….
Speaking of desperation, I was at a bar a little while ago and this group of young girls showed up in matching t-shirts. The guy I was with started chatting them up and it turned out that they were launching some shitty clothing line and were totally willing to do anything to get ahead….I told my friend to tell them that he ran a big website and makes people famous everyday and that he’d be able to help them hit it big. My friend decided to tell them that it was a shitty name and moved on with his night by drinking away his pain with me by his side. An hour later, I happened to be next to the girls and this asshole who had been hustling them since we left them was running every ounce of game he could find on them and they weren’t having it. I unfortunately became a prop in his pick-up strategy when he grabbed me and tried ballroom dancing with me. I didn’t know how to react because he was bigger and more drunk than me and because I was never used as a prop to get a bitch in such a homosexual way in my life…but I finally got away from him and the girls thought it was so funny that all four of them left with him. I was used, emasculated and a felt like a fucking fag, but the positive in all this is that my dick doesn’t work so I had little use for them and I couldn’t get turned on by the dude being so close to me so I didn’t have to go home to some unresolved sexuality issues.
Point of all this is that Charlize Theron is the kind of African you racists want to see on all fours…
These pictures of Charlize Theron are pretty shitty and that’s ok. The first time I saw Charlize Theron naked was while working at a gas station in the late 90’s and she did Playboy. I got busted jerking off to mag and that was pretty much my last day working here. I know busting nut to Playboy is almost as bad as getting off to Jeopardy or the Men’s Olympic Gymnastics competition but you gotta remember that this was a time when my dick still worked and Playboy was good enough. The internet meant nothing to me and it was right before my life feel apart, so I hold Charlize Theron semi-responsible for all this…..
Come to think of it, maybe she wasn’t the playboy celebrity I got busted jerkin’ off to on the job, but I’ll just pretend she was because I already wrote this post….
