I really dropped the ball on Halloween. I had this whole idea that I’d actually get off my ass and take the time to figure out a clever costume and go to parties where girls dressed like whores would talk to me and by talk to me I mean show me their vaginas, but I realized that my brain is a lot less lazy than my body and I just couldn’t bring myself to leave my house. Part of the reason was that my wife had taken an orange t-shirt and drew a jack-o-latern on the shit and thought she was so funny, leaving me forced to deal with what my life had become and an obese woman dressed like a fuckin’ pumpkin, which turned out to be a really mood killer. Then when heading to the store to get myself a couple 40s of beer, I ran into a dad taking his kids trick or treating and motherfucker was wearing fuckin’ pantyhose, which was totally fuckin’ inappropriate as far as I’m concerned and made me consider calling the police on the pervert, before realizing that I am too lazy for that, so I just went to my neighbor’s house and passed out watching some shitty horror movies, only to wake up with him snuggled up against me, leading me to question my sexuality, so all in all it was a fuckin’ disaster.
Speakin’ of disaster, here’s Coco and her big ass out for Halloween in pictures you’ve probably already seen because of that whole laziness thing I’ve been talking about all post.
I hate fake tits but offered some slut I met in the bar the other night a set because she didn’t know I was poor and joking and I figured it’d be a good excuse for her to show me her current tits and I was right. The psychology is simple, she was offended that I offered her fake tits, implying that her tits now were inadequate and she went onto tell me how amazing she is and how every guy she’s ever been with think they are the hottest tits ever and that’s when I chime in with the “If they are so great, prove it” and she did. The unfortunate thing with my plan was that this bitch’s body looked like a sock full of jello and was dumpier than the shrapnel my wife left in the toilet, but I saw nipples never the less and that’s good enough for me.
Here are some pictures of Ice T with the retarded fake tits I can only assumed he financed for his ex-stripper wife, just because they are freakier than that time I dressed like a pedophile on halloween and handed out candy in the park out of a van I rented.
So wrestling icon, whatever that means, Paul Heyman has some kind of online show called the Heyman Hustle and he goes out and interviews random people. This week he met up with Coco at her birthday party . She’s apparently only 29, has been married to Ice T for 7 years, never spent a night apart because she was a runaway he found at the bus station and she had no where else to go. She talks about how she fell for Ice T because of the way he fucks her with some kind of magical stroke and tries to describe the gear she’s wearing, making it pretty clear that the stroke she’s talking about is how he swipes his credit card so smoothly when he’s buying her the sluttiest designer clothes ever made, you know the kind that looks like shit you buy at the sex store but way more expensive.
Reality is that none of that matters, because Ice T sings a little song to her and acts all happy in love and shit and that’s something that will never happen to you. If you ever get married, you will be the kind of guy who hides in your garage just to get away from the bitch. So I’m not going to judge their relationship or why they are together because seeing a dude who thinks he’s hood and a chick who let’s people grab her tits for money isn’t really abnormal and at least they seem to be having fun together and that’s really what life is all about…..not to mention having a hooker on staff makes masturbating obsolete and that would make you happy too, because when you marry a real girl you gotta negotiate for sex, at least this way you just threaten to fire her and next thing you know she’s bouncing on your dick.
Nothing says you’ve made it as a Gangster Rapper turned actor like having the trashiest stripper lookin’ bitch with the fakest tits as your wife. It’s like there’s no way he could have pulled off dating a useless Coco type by just being a local drug dealer. He’s gone above an beyond that by becoming a millionaire but is still running after the same garbage pussy he would be if he never left the ghetto, maybe he’s just likes rockin’ the power position because he knows her fat tits can’t leave him since he’s given her a taste of the high life but it’s probably because he bought her off the black market when she was 14 and kept her in the basement cultivating her into what she is today with dance lessons and plastic surgeries like some kind of Frankenstein shit.
I guess there is such thing of an over achieving slut and the reality is that I am posting on her and not on my favorite slut Amber from down the street who always lets me stick a finger in her while gettin’ a private dance for an extra 5 dollars, even though I keep trying to explain to her that she should be the one paying me because in case you didn’t know, I got some magic fingers.
It turns out that people actually care enough about Coco to get her to sign an autograph for them. That either shows how desperate some people can be or that you too can be a celebrity, all you need is some retarded fake tits, bleached hair and a rat actor/gangsta rapper boyfriend to take you to the top, if the top to you is being interviewed by Playboy and hosting Hawaiian Tropic events.
I was always a fan of dudes who would make or support their girlfriends when they flash their asses or tits in public. Those are the kinds of guys I am happy to be around because they just don’t give a fuck about much and like having a good time and because I usually get to see their girlfriend slutting out in some way or another. I fucking hate overbearing dudes who get all raging when their girl talks to me, or when I ask them if I can see their girlfriend’s pussy. Like last night I was talking to some girl in sexy lingerie just about random bullshit and her boyfriend just stared at me like he wanted to kill me, when I asked her who her bodyguard she told me it was her boyfriend, and I wished her good luck because for the rest of the time together, she’s going to have some asshole looking over her shoulder everytime she talks to another dude and that shit leads to spousal abuse. My theory is that just because you’re in love with the bitch and are fucking the bitch, doesn’t mean the bitch can’t show me a little especially if I have no plan on touching. Maybe I don’t care because I’ve never really had a girlfriend I had any respect for and no one wants to see my wife naked because she’s disgusting, even her doctor asks her to keep her clothes on when she gets her gynecological exam.
Either way, Ice-T should be my friend because he makes his girl flash her ass or if it’s her own doing, he’s totally having fun with it and that’s a lot better than seeing him hiding in the corner planning on how he’s going to beat the fuck out of her without leaving any bruises when they get home.
Here are some recent pics of Coco showing off her tits from the Maxim 100 party that went down a day or two ago. I am guessing that she has something coming up that she needs to promote because bitch has taken the time away from her tanning bed to show off what some asshole spent is hard earned money on because she looks like the type of girl who doesn’t really pay for her own implants.
I went to the strippers today and realized that every french girl who strips dates black thugs. I am thinking it’s because they watch the french music channel and see all the nice cars they drive and all the sluts they attract and that ending up with that kind of guy is considered a huge success. One of the girls had cornrows like Rudy on The Cosby Show and was dancing to some fucking aggressive shit that made me want to buy a gun, rob my convenience store and use that money to start running drugs. I am pretty easily influenced, tired of being poor, and even though the bitch with cornrows was a little bottom heavy and liked shaking her ass like she was on YouTube, I’d trade my wife in for her.
Here are pictures of Coco and Ice T at some event and she brought out her tits. I guess that’s what she’s all about because anyone with tits this big has got to have some serious self esteem issues, the kind of self esteem that usually leaves them smoking crack in some ghetto apartment with some dude covered in garbage who hasn’t moved in 4 days and when he does it’s to beat the fuck out of her…So in a lot of ways she’s a success story for bitches who hate themselves enough to get the biggest fucking implants the plastic surgeon can possibly give her, unless I am wrong and these fucker are real, which could happen because I am no fucking expert on this shit…
Speaking of self esteem, I was sitting at the coffee shop today just as an excuse to leave my apartment and was stuck at a table next to a rich girl and her mom. They were talking about some trip she was about to go on and how expensive it was and how it will be life changing. The girl was wearing a Jewish Girl Outfit of the Day, with spandex pants and when she got up she turned to her mom and asked if her ass looked different. I assumed that it was because she was working out and mustered the confidence to wear spandex for the first time in public, but then she went to the girls at another table, who I assume she knew and asked them the same fucking thing. It was a fat girl gone skinny and overly confident story and I am placing my bets on this trip ending in abortion….
