Here are some pictures of Courtney Cox trying to reclaim her youth by surfing and pretty much only embarrassing herself. I guess the one positive thing you can say about her, other than the fact that she’s got an old lady mom ass, because she’s an old lady and I am so over hot tight teen booty, is that she’s not being a cunt about things by paddle surfing like her best friend ever Jennifer Aniston, because she realizes that that shit is so fucking homo that I am considering changing my DJ AM is gayer than bicycle shorts line to DJ AM is gayer than paddle-surfing, but you don’t care about that.

What you do care about is this girl I once dated for about 8 weeks. She was pretty fucking hot by my standards, which means that she had at least one leg, one arm, one eye and one tooth, but that’s no the point…We hooked up drunk for about a week but she’d always stop me at the panties. I felt like I was 14 again and bitch was pulling the panty-rule on me which at first was kind of exciting because I made a point of breaking down that cotton wall, and put more effort into getting her horny enough to give in. I will admit that I found it weird for a 50 year old broad to be pulling this shit on me but it doesn’t matter, after a week of not breaking through, I got mad and wanted to fuck her saggy old lady ass and she said it was because she got her period.

Now the main reason I was banging this grandma was because I figured she was dried up and unable to get knocked up, unable to get her period which suited my needs when I was 24 of no baby and constant sex as long as I had a tube of KY next to the bed, but she dropped the fucking period line, something I never thought I’d have to deal with with her….

Now for the 8 weeks we were “seeing each other”, I never got up in her because she always had a tampon in her, and I never pulled it out to see if it was actually used. So either this bitch had a serious gynecological problem and was bleeding for 8 weeks, or she was a total mental case who had some weird OCD about keeping tampons in her or the most likely case it was her way of keeping me the fuck out….and it worked.

I wish I could say the same for Courtney Cox, but the way she’s lookin’ at me in these pictures, I know she wants me…

Here are some pictures of Courtney Cox leaving a restaurant in a sheer top with her bra exposes. I am pretty much naked all day because getting dress requires too much effort and I was raised by some pretty trashy people and even I put on some fucking clothes when I eat my lunch on my shitty salvation army couch. I admit part of the reason I put on clothes is because of a serious fear of landing scabies from the previous owners and having a barrier between me at the couch is pretty much necessary, but I still manage to cover up when I eat…

That said, I am all for girls wearing sheer shirts with bras exposed in public and encourage as many girls as I can to rock this look. Shit’s like flipping through a Sears catalog without killing all the trees, I guess that makes Courtney Cox a little more environmentally conscious than me.