Here’s some skinny model named Elisabetta Canalis in a bikini and she reminds me of this time I worked at a stable shoveling shit out of the horses stalls, not because she looks like shit, but because she looks like a horse, sure she’s got a skinny body and you’d probably fuck her, but that face is a little too reminiscent of the night all the stable boys got drunk and decided to take turns fuckin’ it. It wasn’t a proud moment, but either is this for Elisabetta Canalis or her husband.

My friend just broke up with his girlfriend so I’m supposed to go out for a beer with him this afternoon. It was one of those situations where no matter what he did nothing was good enough for her. He would take this bitch shopping at Burberry and Gucci and all those other overpriced bullshit stores and then they would get home and she would tell him what a useless motherfucker he was etc. I fucking hated her anyways so I’m kind like whatever.

He was also a drug dealer for a long time, and made as much money in 1 month as you probably so in 6, but stopped because she was all like “I love you and I don’t want you to go to jail.” etc. Then when the money stopped rolling in and he couldn’t take her ass out for $400 dinner and wine anymore, it turned into “You are a useless piece of shit.” etc.

I always thought she was a stupid ugly bitch with no fucking brain anyways so I’m pretty happy to be honest cause this means I don’t even have to speak to her again, and I can ignore her when I see her from now on.

He was fucking so many other girls while he was with her, that I think this whole “I’m going to miss her thing” is such bullshit. I don’t think he’s going to miss her, I think he’s going to miss fucking her in the ass and fisting her while taking pictures. Pictures which, by the way, I suggested he make copies of and post around her hood for revenge, that’s another story tho.

Here’s Elisabetta Canalis. When I first saw these pics, I thought they were nip slips, but upon closer inspection realized I was wrong. I figured I would post them anyways, since I know you are a virgin and this is probably the closest thing you will get to see to a tit this week, except for when you’re spying on your sister when she showers.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez