Emma Watson turned 18 this weekend and she wore sheer panties to celebrate being legal, because you know that before this weekend there was no way bitch was letting dudes explore her vagina. The fact that she’s got bush is a nice change of pace because I was under the impression that all teenage girls these days were so influenced by porn and Paris Hilton that they didn’t believe in bush, but did believe in brazilian bikini waxes. I guess this Emma Watson bitch is from England and they do things differently there.

I am posting this because I have a feeling half of my 5 readers think they are wizards and dress up in capes and meet up with their other wizard friends on the weekend to cast spells on each other and do other weird shit because girls don’t talk to them and since Harry Potter is probably your instruction booklet, I figured these come in handy when you cast a spell on your penis and turn it into a fire spitting dragon, at least that’s what you pretend it is when it’s cumming all over you because it makes masturbating more relevant to your cause.

I never really watched any Harry Potter movies because they remind me of virgin dudes who sit at home and dress up like wizards while playing Dungeons and Dragons on the newest videogame system that they bought with birthday money from their grandmother, but I have heard of this 17 year old named Emma Watson and her friend Maria Menounous from Entertainment Tonight or wherever the fuck she’s from and here they are shopping together.

Either way, it’s nice to see friends come together for the sake of landing an interview in attempts to promote a movie that is about to come out while dressing the British girl in Sex Pistol and Union Jack shirts because that’s what the people want to see. I am all about fake friends and pretending to love people I hate for the sake of keeping up appearances because that’s what fake friends are for…