Heather Graham may look like shit, but she will always be the fat titty big bushed pornstar in Boogie Nights to me. That Rollergirl shit lives on in both DVD and memory until the end of mankind, and it should be motivation for some of you young prude sluts who are scared of getting naked on camera or fucking on camera because your naive, malleable mind thinks it will fuck you over in terms of career and education, when in reality no one gives a shit if you get naked or fuck on camera and if it doesn’t give you a career if it gets leaked like you were Paris Hilton, shit will at least act as a time capsule you may want to reflect on one day when your old, fat and not 18 anymore. So girls, if you are reading this, take off your fucking panties and bra and pull out your digicam and get to work, because I can assure you Heather Graham watches that Boogie Night’s scene and all her other nude scenes for all her prospective lovers to let them know where those titties came from, making her seemingly far better looking than she is…..

Pics via Fame

I am slowly dying – and so is Heather Graham’s sex appeal, but before she’s a total sloppy pig, she’s still got a few more years in her, I don’t know if I’m gonna be so lucky, that’s why I am going to pass the fuck out so I can punish myself all over again, and I’ll leave you these pictures to help you while punishing your genitals you pathetic motherfucker. I’ve had enough writing for the weeek.

I saw The Hangover last night and Heather Graham still has it going on. I was surprised that I’ve ever hated on her for getting older and dumpy. Sure, maybe I am just seduced by the breast feeding scene where she busts out her near perfect tit, reminding me of jerking off to Boogie Night scenes, but I think there’s more to it than that. Here she is at the premiere in Ireland in a shredded dress that reminds me of the condition of the dresses of most girls I get with after I am through with them, not because I am an animal in the bedroom, but because dragging them up the stairs to my apartment usually does some damage.

I hate admitting that I find things funny because it fucks with my hating on everything, but the movie The Hangover trailer made me laugh. Historically, when movie trailers make me laugh, the movie itself doesn’t, I guess they use all their decent jokes to lure people, or maybe the stupidity in small doses is acceptable, but after 30 minute of the shit, you want to fuckin’ kill yourself, and when you sit there just waiting for the funny joke you saw in the trailer to play out, just to keep you from wanting to kill youself, you know you should have listened to your instincts and hated it from the second you heard about it, instead of letting their marketing win you over.

So that’s not an endorsement, that’s just my relationship with them movie The Hangover, and here is Heather Graham at the premiere, busting out of her dress like this was 1999 and she still had the hottest tits in the industry, and you gotta love her for that, at least I know I do. It’s like longevity thanks to perseverance, so don’t give up on us now baby, those natural tits can carry you into the next 2 decades….

Here is Heather Graham in some into some Tom Sawyer shit but she’s lookin pretty fucking good. I guess it’s gotta do with having a lot of fucking down time to catch up on sleep or someshit, because most 39 year old women have families and shitty jobs to beat them the fuck up, while Heather Graham just gets to sit on her pile of money, do a couple movies, and relax the rest of the time like she was still a college kid with 4 month summer vacation. I guess I shouldn’t be such a hater, not because I don’t really work or do much either, or because I am not that bitter of her money and success, but because she has hot tits and I fucking love hot tits. I am easy like that.

I remember loving Heather Graham’s tits, but like all big titties, they grow up and turn 30 something and don’t have the same fuckin draw they had when they were in their 20s, because the nipples aim to the ground like the chick was overweight, and the perky beautiful cleavage that once was, now looks like some kind of sloppy spread out mess. The skin that houses Heather Graham’s tits have been through a lot, you know holding up all that fatty tissue all these years, it was bound to reach a point where it just couldn’t do it anymore, you know like when you carry home your wife’s insanely heavy groceries for the week because she eats a lot and you feel like you just can’t make it up that last flight of stairs because your hands just can’t take the pressure,well,that’s pretty much what Heather Graham’s tits are going through and I guess all we can hope for is that her vagina hasn’t been through the same amount of strain and is hanging down somewhere mid-thigh.

I am sure it’s just one of those natural courses of life that makes us all remember that 20 year olds are pretty much better to look at naked than this shit.

Here she is doing us all a favor and covering up that shit….

It was a nice day, so I kinda forgot to post these pictures of Heather Graham getting her ass grabbed in the airport because I chose getting drunk over sitting on my ass smelling the rotting pile of garbage that no one has or will take down unless I do it, which I won’t because I like the smell of garbage more than the smell of my wife.

I guess it’s nice to see a slut being treated like a slut in public, it really puts things in perspective and makes me realize that no matter how much money a bitch has, or how many dudes have jerked off to her in Boogie Nights, there will still be a dude who only hangs with her cuz he likes treating her like she’s a cheap hooker who’s already been paid. Enjoy.

There’s something to be said about knowing and admitting who you are to those around you. Jesus will be the first to admit that he’s a fat, impotant piece of shit, for instance. Julien, our token gay blogger, will never argue the fact that he is a flaming queen that is scared of bugs and mice. Julien’s friend, however, needs to take a fucking cue….

So I have a friend that has a little problem with crystal meth and it’s getting out of hand. I know, I know, it’s such a cliché; gay guy is addicted to meth and fucks lots of but sometimes clichés exist for a reason. So my other friends want to tell his parents and have some fucking intervention type thing so he can go to rehab. Now, I don’t have too much sympathy for this little faggot, I mean I’ve done meth before and I’m stupid enough to become a fucking addict and even if I was an addict I would do what any self respecting WASP would do and keep it inside and personal. My Mom hass been addicted to painkillers for years and nobody really knows because she doesn’t fucking broadcast it. I also think that rehab is fucking bullshit, if it
doesn’t work for Lohan how is it going to work for my friend?

Anyway, the big problem is that his parents don’t know that he’s gay and if we have this intervention it would definitely come out and we need his parents because they are rich or something and they can pay for the rehab. Again, I don’t see what the problem is because we are talking about one of the biggest faggots I know, he’s gayer than Christmas. He dyes his hair, he wears way too much jewelry, he has a fucking lisp and, most importantly, he’s a fucking meth addict.

Only fags and soccer mom’s are meth addicts and this guy doesn’t drive no Windstar. So if he was worried about his parents finding out he’s gay, he’s really not doing a good job. This guy is doing a really shitty job acting straight. But he’s still a better actor than Heather Graham.

Smooch!

Julien

Ever since I was little, I knew I would have a huge impact on society. I knew that I would find an audience and make a difference. If you are wondering what difference I have made in your life, it’s simple, nothin of substance or importance, nothing that will get you laid. I have just brought you my useless stories that you probably can’t draw much insight from, because there’s not a whole lot of insight there to begin with. But it doesn’t matter, some nice guy gave me photoshop and I cropped a pic of Heather Graham’s tits so that you can see Nipple and Stretch Marks. I am all for imperfections and nipple slips, that’s why I love Heather Graham and used to jerk off to her in Boogy Nights when my dick still worked. Yes, I feel like a loser for sitting here learning photoshop to produce these images, but I guess no one can really feel like a loser when they are in your company. You’re one of those ppl the losers hang out with to look cool….either way I know this was lame, but isn’t most of what I do??