So last week, Janice Dickinson was ripping into the paparazzi for being rats and from the sewers, and I was totally down with that, despite knowing that the paparazzi are the only reason she’s ever spoken of, because she may call herself the first supermodel, I never heard of her until she was working on another supermodel’s TV show and by that time, she was already beat up by the plastic surgeon’s knife and collagen injections that the only thing super about her, was the ability to suck dick without knowing she was sucking dick due to having no nerve endings left in her mouth….

Today she’s striking a pose for the motherfuckers and acting like their best fucking friends and this inconsistency is fuckin’ with my head. I guess she’s crazy, which makes sense, I mean she does have a vagina after all.

I admit, I am slow moving today. I was taking a nap, because I am trying to get as much energy as I can to see as many vaginas as I can over the next 4 days. It only comes once a year and I am sure I don’t have all that many more ahead of me, so I might as well milk it for all I can….

Speaking of monsters, here’s a clip of Janice Dickinson, a modern day Frankenstein, calling the paparazzi cockroaches and rats, because I guess she doesn’t like the attention they are giving her when she’s not lookin’ her best or some shit, unless this is her best, in which case, she’s just being a bitch and if I was her, I’d be a bitch too, I mean after spending all that money on surgery then getting this mess of a face that would be worse than that time I bought a stereo system off some crackhead that didn’t work when I got home, or the time a group of us hired a whore to pass around and she fell asleep on us, or died, we weren’t sure, we just know we didn’t ask her pimp for a refund when he came to drag her out of my apartment. True story.

Ok, now I gotta get to my real posts. I hope you’re ready….cuz it’s going to be a life changing day today….or not…I am just trying to hype myself up to get down and do this…when I really just want to go back to bed.

Here are some pictures of Janice Dickinson flashing her underwear and acting like an idiot for the paparazzi a while ago, because she hates them so fucking much, and doesn’t use them to get publicity when it is convenient for her, I guess she’s just a hypocritical cunt.

Janice Dickinson is pretty hot, not only is she a washed up, mangled up, retired, cokehead, cock hungry model, but she also has big ol’ tits that she doesn’t mind showing off because she’s just such a trainwreck of a person. The kind of trainwreck who doesn’t flinch when you shove your dick in them when they are sleeping, because they are too jacked on sleeping pills and when they wake up with the cum dripping out of them, they don’t think twice because it’s a normal fucking situation in their lives.

The funny thing about these pics is her mouth, I am guessing this is some botched surgery or bad botox and she’s all lookin’ at me with a crooked smile and it looks like she’s got a fucking burger stapled to her face.

Speaking of burgers, I went to the other night, where my overly sensitive friend decided to have a group of us over because he really wanted to cook for us and celebrate his getting a girlfriend or something equally lame. This is the kind of emotionally unstable dude who would stab his on mother in the neck if she said the wrong thing about him. Anyway, dude ends up making burgers and I’m all excited because we don’t eat that kind of fancy shit at home, we’re more of a Ramen Noodle, Pasta with Soya Sauce and Margarine kind of family, and when it gets to me, I garnish it with all the good shit, I’m talking cheese and BBQ sauce and fried onions and bacon and the fucking thing looked like a piece of fuckin’ heaven. I bite into it and shit’s still raw. Now I know real men like raw meat, but it makes me sick to my fucking stomach and as my friend looks at me for my approval of how good it is and as I try to mask my disgust by smiling and saying it’s awesome because I don’t want to get stabbed in the fucking neck, I just keep on eating through it. Knowing there is going to be a bout of E-Coli, knowing my body isn’t going to react well to this…I just keep going…like a horny dude fucking an Aids pussy without really thinking of the consequences.

I guess my bbq story was a waste of time, but hey man, I write the shit that comes to me, deal with it by lookin’ at these tits….

Janice Dickinson makes me feel like an asshole for jerking off to the geriatric aquarobics class at my local community center when there are elderly women out there who still look better than the younger chicks I’ve seen naked.

I know she’s had a lot of work done and is pretty much 80 percent made of plastic but shit’s working for me. Sure her ass is sloppy and her skin is leathery but if you saw the 50 year old bitches who I’ve been with, you’d think of me in a totally different way, or maybe you would expect it from me, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that what it comes down to is that old ladies are easy, willing, experienced and can’t get pregnant because of their dried up wombs, pretty much the perfect situation to have, except for the grey pussy hair, impending smell of death and most importantly the constant harassment of making sure I didn’t want another freshly baked cookie after eating 6.

Here is some more Janice Dickinson bikini action because she hasn’t died of heat exhaustion like my 60 year old neighbor did last summer during the heat wave and that’s worth celebrating….

I think after doing this site for close to 4 years, I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am some kind of sick pervert with major psychological issues. I don’t really feel bad about it because I am not hurting anyone in the process and after talking to people over the years realize that my sick demented perversions are like kindergarden on the scale of perversion. I am like when you get with with a girl and she sticks her finger in your ass or wants to roll play on the most basic level and not perverted when a girl starts busting out strap ons or introducing trannies to the bedroom or making you pretend to be her dad by wearing his favorite sweater and doing it on his favorite chair while he watches. It is tame and harmless and unfortunately for me it finds Janice Dickinson pretty fuckin’ hot, even with her old lady skin hanging off her skinny little body. She looks tight for an old lady, which may not be saying much because I can guarantee that vagina is like a Yaros, built from the inside out and perfect for bringing home your groceries, but there’s just something about her that is hot.

I guess her stamina is also part of the reason I want to watch her fuck. All this running around and shit and she didn’t drop dead from a heart attack or stroke. I hear a lifetime of eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse destroys hearts, but I guess those scientists were wrong. Even though, I know that anytime I have a coke binge or drink too much or even smoke one too many cigars, the thought of getting off my couch makes my heart skip a couple of beats and leaves me out of breath and clinging to my wife’s thigh for the life of me - like shit’s all about to end…it never does though…unfortunately.

Plastic surgery seems to work because Janice Dickinson is in her 50s and the only thing that scared me a little was her old flat ass, but I can look past that considering I am the same guy who used to get hard sponge bathing old ladies when I worked as an orderly at the old folks home before getting fired and I can’t forget my roots. Not to mention that pretty much every girl I’ve slammed has had a worse ass than this mess, but I am the kind of guy who takes whatever I can get even if it was disgusting because my penis could always see past that. I have a feeling that getting with someone like Janice Dickinson is that bitch has seen more cock than my uncle Hector who was a chicken farmer, yeah that joke sucked but it’s not really a joke because it’s true and I bet she is the closest thing you sick serial killer readers can get to fuckin’ a real live corpse that’s vagina still gyrates because it has a life of it’s own and the body is still kinda warm . I am not sure what I am talking about but I am hooked on these pics.

More Pictures from Her Vacation….

Bonus - Janice Dickinson Does a Commercial for Orbit that I don’t Understand

Breasts, like my ass, are a great place to store things. I know girls who put their make-up, phones, drugs, condoms, money, perfume and worldly possessions in their bra and it always makes feeling them up feel a lot like Christmas or some kind of magical treasure hunt, but not as magical as the treasure hunt I have to go through every time my wife wants me to diddle her and I have to maneuver my way through her fat to the source of her junk or even when I leave my keys or something I need on the bed and it gets sucked up into her fat folds as she sloth’s out on it….I guess that’s part of what makes my marriage fun.

Either way, here are some pictures of Janice Dickinson getting a manicure with her cellphone jacked in her tits so she doesn’t miss any important calls from people asking her who the fuck she is because let’s face it, she’s not all that famous, but shit should be jacked in between her legs and set on vibrate because that’s pretty much the main reason the pervert who behind the vibrate ringtone invented it. While laying in bed alone at night with his “How Things Work” manual, he had dreams of walking down the street and seeing girls moaning with pleasure all because of his manly technical knowledge, giving every girl who ever rejected him an orgasm without them knowing it and that shit was his way of playing god. True Story.

Janice Dickinson is fucking amazing. Firstly, I’ve got a thing for bitches in pantyhose and I am happy that every girl who wears party dresses is rockin’ pantyhose these days, because there was a time about 10 years ago that these things were really only for old career women that were too fucking frigid and busy making money to want to fuck…They were like new wave lesbians, not the kind who weren’t the kind who didn’t shave their armpits, legs or cunts, but the kind that thought women had a place in a man’s world, so now pantyhose are the new pants, only see-thru.

That pretty much means that girls feel like they are covered up and wearing pants, and somehow always end up flashing that stupid maxi pad crotch protector without even realizing it, usually when drunk, like this Janice Dickinson slut who I now want to fuck…because washed-up models who don’t eat but love cocaine are the only kind of girl I go for, except for maybe my 300 pound wife, but a man is allowed to dream…

Plastic Surgery isn’t always a bad thing. I think Janice Dickinson looks hot even if she’s 1/4 science experiment, 1/4 petrified from drugs and 1/2 old lady I want to fuck. Watching her adjust her bra excites me enough to post it because my wife stopped wearing a bra about 3 years ago and anything that is the opposite of what my wife does appeals to me. Maybe that’s why I am so into anorexic porn, I guess it’s kinda like Hugh Grant getting a blowjob from a tranny while being involved with Liz Hurley in her hot years. Admit you liked that pop culture reference from the 90s.

I am not usually that good with pop culture shit. I have no idea who the blond in these pictures is and I don’t really care, I can’t keep my eyes off of Janice’s skinny legs, There’s something amazing about skinny chicks that will always remain a mystery to me. I know that eating disorders are so fucking played out, but I have a feeling that this bitch doesn’t have an eating disorder, she just got her stomach removed in the lab one day and lives off speed like all your fat girlfriends should be doing too….

I know you don’t have a girlfriend. It was just an example.