The good news for Jennifer Aniston and her babyless ass, is that when you are lonely and feel that you haven’t completed your role as a woman by never having a baby and when you feel insecure because guys don’t want to impregnate you but have no problem impregnating other girls making you think there’s something seriously wrong with you, there is always the pet store to give you some purpose, by adopting a dog who relies heavily on you for survival, giving you a false sense of relevance in the world, allowing you to feel like someone depends on you, loves you unconditionally and will never fuck off on you and run off with another owner because you keep a tight leash on the fuckin’ thing and because it officially belongs to you and doesn’t really have the freedom to make the same choices every other person in your life has been able to make. I am sure it’s a pretty depressing and embarrassing scene everytime she puts this fucker on her lap and tries to breast feed it like it was your own, but at least it’s keeping her from killing herself, something that may not impact society because she’s spent the last few years being a sad case, useless and irrelevant, but I am sure it has a positive impact on her life and I guess that’s all that matters…Here is her lonely, babyless ass….

Here are those pics…

Everyone’s been giving Brad Pitt so much attention because he just had his new babies with Angelina and sold the pictures for millions of dollars and everyone is talking about how amazing they are and all that shit and I figured it was a good time to post about Jennifer Aniston and laugh about all that went wrong in her life and the pain that she is probably feeling. All this ass wanted was to be impregnated by Brad Pitt, and she got pretty fucking close before motherfucker cheated on her and started a new life with someone else while leaving her in the dust. It’s that kind of rejection that leaves Aniston hurting, desperate and ready to let anyone who comes her way knock her up, but for some reason no one ever does, there must be something seriously wrong with her and that’s probably the fact that she’s greek and only knows anal and after volunteering in a few high schol biology classes, I have learned that you can’t get knocked up that way no matter how hard you try, despite what every boyfriend she’s ever dated has told her. I guess when you find a girl who does anal, you don’t want to pollute that by introducing vaginal sex.

Either way, here’s Aniston’s sad, lonley and childless ass in some dress.

The paparazzi are on my ass again for allegedly posting pictures that belong to them and I figured that these pictures they took of Jennifer Aniston with John Mayer because they look illegal to me. They are at some pool and the pics are taken from what’s gotta be a tree or a hotel room balcony with some psycho zoom lens because they look like some serious stalker shit that would normally land someone in jail for harassment but instead can be sold for insane prices to magazines, tv shows and blogs.

I was listening to the local news today and I heard a story about an all-girls school in a state of panic. Some dude they call a peeping tom, who isn’t me, is parking outside school grounds with some insane zoom lens and taking pics of these underage school girls for what I can only assume is for his masturbation. Dude’s totally planned this shit out and drives his van up there and parks in what he thinks is a clever location with his high-end equipment and gets rightfully called a predator and everyone freaks the fuck out to find him and prosecute him. All while the paparazzi are doing essentially the same thing and their only punishment is getting rich off the shit. The law is twisted and I think I am going to start petitioning the local government to put an end to them. It’s really my only option at this point.

John Mayer is the sloppy second predator. He finds these recently broken hearted girls who are down on their luck when it comes to love and feel like shit about themselves, making them an easy target to bed. He is the rebound king, but probably doesn’t play basketball, because he spent most of his youth playing the piano instead like some kind of homo, a homo who no girls around him would have sex with cuz he was the loser music class all star and apparently that didn’t go as far as being captain of the school sports team.

The good news for him is that in his time alone he realized that to get over one guy a girl gets under the first guy that comes her way and as long as he is the first guy she gets under, he gets all the rewards of her previous sex-life with her longterm relationship she is just trying to get over. So he treats them all special and makes them laugh knowing that it probably won’t take up more than 6 weeks of his time and in those 6 weeks will get unprotected sex, anal sex and all the other things the last guy had to work hard to get the slut to do, all without any work because the girl he is dealing with is trying to get back at the last dude.

I know that Jennifer Aniston’s last long term relationship was 3 kids ago, but she’s still raging on the inside and you can tell by how hard her nipples are for her stand-in cock, until Brad Pitt realizes that leaving her was the biggest mistake of his life and comes crawling back to her, which probably will never happen, but does happen in her mind everyday as she plays out that fantasy over and over.

I guess Jennifer Aniston is trying to deal with failed relationships and the whole biological clock tickin’ shit by spending all her time on the beach in the sun while fucking John Mayer when he’s not too busy to fuck her, with what I hope is with a vasectomy dick, despite celebrities not being into the whole safe sex concept, because this bitch is hungry for babies. She’s the kind of girl who you have to bring your own condom for fear that she poked a hole in the shit and you have to either flush that fucker down the toilet or tie it up and stick it in your pocket because the second you pass out you know she’s got it flipped inside out in attempts to knock herself up. She’s the kind of girl who stopped taking the pill by conveniently doesn’t tell you and begs for you to cum inside her instead of on her tits like she normally wants which sets off alarms in your head that you don’t listen too because you’re about to bust inside Jennifer Aniston depsite how boring she looks in a bikini she’s still worth the fuck and if you’re someone like me, she’s worth knocking up because she’s probably a lot less annoying than my wife and has a lot more money and I think knocking her up is a fair trade off for a better lifestyle. I’m a whore like that.

Jennifer Aniston was out in a bikini this weekend and you probably were too, which is a little awkward since it belonged to your sister and you were wearing it while watching porn because it makes you feel pretty. I guess Jennifer Aniston’s sex life involves a lot of porn since she hasn’t fully recovered from losing Brad Pitt to Angelina. The truth is that Aniston looks pretty good but there’s just something about her that makes her have little to no sex appeal. I remember watching Friends in the 90s because it was the only place to find hard nipples on prime time TV, making her like the only girl in your class willing to fuck you amongst a group of other girls a false sense of being hot.

This post is as boring as these pictures but that’s just the way it is when you’re dealing with Jennifer Aniston. The only thing interesting about her is that this Greek ass likes getting fucked because that’s just the Greek way…..and your way cuz you’re gay…way to gay….

I was reading some women’s magazine the other day, as I like to do, to keep in touch with the other gender. I feel like it fills me with useless information that I can use to seduce women into getting naked for me on webcam because I generally don’t leave my house. My theory is that if you understand what the other species is reading and being fed, you can understand what they are thinking and in turn use it to your advantage in getting a hot young vulnerable girl to flash her tits for the sake of flashing her tits, as long as you use a language they understand.

So this week I learned that there are more men than women in the world so something like 4% of women will never get married, never have a family, never grow old with someone and will instead just die alone. My initial thought was that the 4% of girls who never get married were ugly, fat, disgusting women that no dude would want to end up with, but it turns out that a lot of them are hot, successful and just missed the fuckin’ boat. Maybe they were just saying that to make the lonely, vulnerable, fat disgusting readers feel better about themselves so that they don’t go jumping off any bridges, but maybe it’s true and if it is, Jennifer Aniston is one of those. The only difference is that she was already married, she just wasn’t good at it and forced her man to leave her.

So all the money in the world, all the re-runs of friends with her hard nipples, a hot bikini body still don’t help her lock down a cock, but the reality is that you’d all wait in line to get up in this, she just thinks she’s too good for you because Brad Pitt gave her unrealistic self-worth, even after destroying her on all levels, her low self esteem and rejected self still thinks she’s too good for you…..so stare at her ass and show her who’s boss in the privacy of your own room in your mom’s basement.

I overheard some people talking about Jennifer Aniston and Angelina the other day, they were fighting about who was hotter and I was surprised people still even bother arguing that shit. You’d think people have better things to do with their time than talk about people they don’t know, then I remembered that’s what I do everyday on this site, but since my life is a walking contradiction and I am probably the most inconsistent person out there and have nothing better to do, I still think arguing that shit is a waste of fucking time because it’s obvious the Angelina destroys this 4 day old Greek Salad of a bitch.

But really, who fucking cares who is hotter, hotness isn’t important, there are so many hot chick in the world and everyone’s into different shit that we should be caring about who’s a better fuck, and the fact that Brad Pitt left his marriage for Angelina, pretty much sums that up for all of us. Sure Aniston was a ass loving greek but anyone can take it up the ass, even you, and what guys want is a girl who begs for that shit like if she doesn’t get it she’ll fucking curl up and die.

You see finding a decent lookin’ chick who is in love with dick more than she’s in love with herself is harder than finding a hot chick I’d like to fuck because I see them every time I leave my house. A girl who doesn’t care if she’s seen as a slut and who loves fucking like a whore, who is addicted to dick and always wants yours is really what we are lookin’ for. So when lookin’ at whether Angelina or Aniston is hotter, you should really be focusing on who’s a better fuck because if you ask any dude if he’d rather a hot chick who blows you the fuck away in bed, or a bikini model who just lays there and takes it, motherfucker will probably take the one who knows how to fuck. Super models are good for your public image and ego, but when you’re locked down in your bedroom getting the best sex of your life, who gives a fuck about public image because you haven’t left your house in days….

Point of all this is that you’ll never get the supermodel frigid bitch or the cute sex addicted chick, so you don’t even have to worry about any of this shit, you can just sit there and jerk off to your 16 year old neighbor and her friends sunbathing, or put all your energy into the fat retarded chick in your class with the glass eye, who thinks you’re funny when ever you talk to her and she’s already asked you to fuck her but you’re too scared of vagina to go through with it…or you could focus on making some serious changes so that you get whatever the fuck you want and it’s really just a matter of having lots of money because hot chicks like money and do dirty things to be with guys with money.

Here are some pictures of Orlando Bloom and Jennifer Aniston in a bikini, because he’s probably slammin’ her, even though he could have any 20 year old party slut he wants…but maybe washed up old ladies who aren’t good enough for Brad Pitt with lots of money is what he wants….maybe he’s living out his Aniston Fantasy from when he used to jerk off to her hard nipples on FRIENDS, but I think you’re the only person who did that. Weirdo.

I know Greek girls are supposed to have big child bearing asses and that’s why they take it up the ass so easily, so it’s possible that these Jennifer Aniston shots are some kind of optical illusion and she’s really rockin’ a XXL, but by the looks of it, she’s in a XXS and shit’s barely covering her ass. Maybe next time she’ll get it right and use the bikini bottoms to cover the real offensiveness in these pictures and that’s her face. I am talking busted down pick-up truck face that reminds me of last week’s kitchen garbage or maybe even an old catcher’s mitt, but her body is pretty banging and I do my best to not hate on bitches with hot bodies, even if they look like they were mauled by a bear when camping as a child or some shit…

I was out in some random club in some random town with some random people. I ended up there by getting in the car with people I didn’t really know and going for the ride because they were cool with taking me along with them and I was pretty tired of being downtown and ready for a change in the outskirts of hell. It turns out that the outskirts of hell attracts a hell of a lot of slutty looking girls who like talking to random people, not so much me because I look like an overweight mountain man and chicks that have bleached hair and fake tits and halter tops get enough of that at work when old men like me pay them 10 dollars a song to grab their tits…Either way, at one point in the night these 3 ugly chicks all with fake tits were doing shots in the corner. I wanted to join in but they weren’t having it but I did get to listen to their conversation and all they were talking about were their fake tits, how many CCs they had in each, who their doctor was, whether they had sensation back and all this fake tit shit. It was like seeing three guys with the same car randomly meet in the shopping center parking lot and start comparing their engines…..

Aniston may not have fake tits, but she does have hot tits, and that’s pretty much the end of this post. I’d ask for your feedback, but I really don’t give a fuck about what you think. Asshole.

I was told yesterday that I write too much. I don’t think I do. I just tell stories when they come to me and I don’t tell stories when they don’t come to me. If you don’t want to read the post then you don’t have, no one really does but emailing me telling me to write a shitty paragraph on the person I am posting about, when I don’t give a fuck about the person I am posting about in the first place is not really my thing, but I decided to try out a couple of one paragraph potential posts for these Jennifer Aniston in a bikini top paddle surfing like the useless cunt that she is….as an exercise in making your experience on this site that much better, if that is even possible…and this is me accommodating….

Jennifer Who?Niston….I haven’t heard this name since her famous heartthrob husband left her for a hollywood bad girl. Well here she is trying to reclaim some of her fame and to remind some of her fans from the Friends-era that she’s still got tits by getting into her bikini. And we’re not complaining. I can only assume that her fit older-lady body stops at her ass and isn’t 100 percent where it should be because otherwise she wouldn’t have ruined this experience with those stupid shorts….

Jennifer Aniston was out in Hawaii with her only friends, Courtney Cox and David Arquette and she decided to try out the gayest fucking sport since DJ AM called paddle surfing. Shit’s like wheelchair basketball or blind person dodgeball or some other modified sports for people with disabilities, only the disability that people who paddlesurf have is thinking that they are Huckleberry Finn. I guess all that doesn’t matter because Aniston is rocking a bikini top and we know we love bikini tops, and a girl could pretty much do anything in a bikini top and we’ll still look because we are fucking virgins who have never seen a girl in a bikini in real life….well except for maybe that one time in summer camp, but you were 12.

Anyway you dice it, I still wrote more than I would have in writing one of my stories, only now I feel more like a virgin than when I was 13 and this 20 year old retarded girl tried to get me to fuck her and I didn’t know what to do so I just shoved it in between her fat thighs until I dry came and ran away scared that she was going to eat me or something because she totally looked like a monster…..Jennifer Aniston reminds me of that girl with her big ol’ head…..and this post was a fucking failure…

You know how I do things here, if I see a celebrity with an erect nipple, nipple slip, bikini or doing something worth laughing at, I post it. I don’t really want to go into any more detail than that because it is embarrassing enough as is. I did start doing it to trick you perverts into reading my stories, but since I started the website I haven’t really been able to do a whole lot of much to give you stories worth reading. I am also pretty sure these pictures of Aniston are pretty old, because she’s always wearing a white t-shirt, jeans and a water bottle. She’s part of the Gap generation and will take that shit to the grave.

I used to have a thing for Aniston because her nipples were always hard on Friends, that’s pretty much how easy it is to win my heart. After she got married to Brad Pitt, I lost interest because married girls in white t-shirts and jeans bore the fuck out of me, but since Brad upgraded for a newer model and knocked her up, something Aniston wanted him to do to her but it didn’t happen cuz she is Greek and Greek’s only take it up the ass and anal is the best kind of birth control, that’s why Catholic school girls everywhere are doing it, but that’s not the point, the point is that Aniston is nice and emotionally fucked up right now and those are the best kind of girls to get to buy you things.

Think about it, the love of her life she wanted to have a family with, fucked off with the hottest cunt in hollywood and got her pregnant, leaving plain Jane Aniston all alone a baby-less. It’s like that time that time I hadn’t got high in about 2 days and the girl I was slamming went to the store to get me some milk, she never came back, so I went lookin for her the next day because I had slow response time and found her getting high with some other homeless lookin’ guy, leaving me to fend for myself….whore.