So I saw this new Rihanna video called Rehab and she’s getting down pretty slutty to some Justin Timberlake motherfucker. I guess they are all jacked up on this Obama shit that they want to make one of their own, but then I saw this video of Justin Timberlake with the vintage Rihanna on SNL wearing a leotard for the boys since he’s into boys like Jessica Biel, and I don’t really get how he was in two places at the same time….I was going to go on some kind of rant, but it’s around 9 in the fucking morning and ranting is the last thing I want to do…..

Justin TImberlake’s in trouble. Here are the power couple and I am only labeling that because Biel can pench press a small car, at some friend’s wedding and it seems like she is part of the wedding party and like all Bride’s Maids, is probably feeling the burn in her vagina to find a man and lasso him in so that she can be the star of her own magical day one day, when all eyes will be on her and when she won’t just be the back burner sidekick in her friend’s moment of fucking glory. The whole thing is insane to me. I don’t understand marriage especially now that I am married and I only did it for financial security, I don’t get why women get so bored in their life that they want to spend a year of their life making annoying plans to have some fantasy wedding they dreamed of as a kid, but I do know that bridesmaids are always horny as fuck by the end of the ceremony and shit works better than roofies so there is no doubt in my mind that Justin Timberlake was sucking massive cock shortly after these pictures were taken.

I know this position isn’t one Justin is unfamiliar with. I heard that every time he has sex with Jessica Biel, she takes him from behind like the little bitch he likes to pretend he is after a long stint on the road having girls treat him like a sex object. He’s just not used to carrying her around like he’s her fuckin’ bitch, she’s usually the one doing the carrying in this relationship.

Poor fucker is struggling and reminds me of the time I went horseback riding with my wife when I cared and was trying to be romantic, before giving up on the relationship after losing all hope that it will ever be good again, and the horse wasn’t fucking having it, after stopping every few steps, he looked at the other horse in front of us that was carrying a normal sized girl with serious envy and about 5 minutes later the thing passed the fuck out from the strain. I heard the horse didn’t make it and I have a feeling that after the wedding, either will Timberlake, because he will realize that the novelty of Jessica Biel’s dick and push-up ability will be replaced with whining and weight gain. It always happens that way.

Either way we get it Justin, you’re a beast, all those years of dancing like a homo on stage have paid off and you’re stronger and in better cardiovascular, but in defense of my shitty fitness, so is 98% of the rest of the world, the only person I know I am stronger than is terminally ill kids and ederly. The same people who can’t survive heat waves or SARS.

I am not really a news story type of person because I don’t really ever know what the fuck is going on. I have been doing this site for a long fucking time and still need the message board I rip the pictures off of to tell me what I am looking at. I have done a lot of Jessica Biel posts and I didn’t even know who the fuck I was looking at in these so I guess I am not like your everyday virgin blogger who sits at his computer in his spiderman suit thinking that running a celeb site will get him all the pussy he never got before he found out he could make money from all the pics he saved on his hard drive but was too scared of jerking off to because maybe it would make a mess or some shit….

Either way, Justin Timberlake is slamming this girl. I assume she’s hot in person because every vagina around was being thrown at this motherfucker when he broke up with Cameron Diaz and if this broad shouldered D-Lister is what he ends up with for another 4 years, dude’s a fucking idiot…..or maybe just into bitches who can beat him up.

I heard that people with power are into being bottoms and dominated by chicks. I knew a whore who used to go to lawyer’s houses and either step on them in high heels or fuck them up the ass with cured meat…I would just do acid with her and watch the news….but I wasn’t paying her, she just liked my company….I like to think she ended up in a Pretty Woman story, but reality is she’s probably still getting high with homeless motherfuckers…