Fat dudes always wear t-shirts when they go to the beach and Kelly Clarkson is no exception. She knows that she should have an eating disorder and she’s taking action on it by not letting the world see she likes cake. At least her weight problem doesn’t prevent her from having a good time, or from hiring 10 fatter chicks to stand next to her in bikinis in attempts to make her look skinny. It’s like when you shave your pubes trying to make your dick look bigger. I don’t really know what I am talking about, but I do know that Kelly Clarkson’s legs burn like a middle-aged fat mother of 5 who works at the grocery store and who’s pasty legs never seen the sun in 15 years on a trip she won to Mexico in the local draw. I think being fat and not being able to tan go hand in hand, but I haven’t figured out why but I have figured out that we need a little Katherine Mcphee up in here to show this bitch how an American Idol starves herself proper.