Back in Community College upstate, I roomed with a girl with 1.5 legs, we’ll call her Melanie. I am pretty sure she was a closet lesbian because she would stroke me a lot or have a friend spend the night but want to share my bed instead of sharing hers with her friend. She was dating guys off the internet. They were all closet freaks with a prosthesis fetish or something. Since she was a community theater regular, she hooked up with this ‘playwright.’ She paid for dinner (he forgot his wallet) and he asked to ‘borrow’ some sheets of computer paper so he could print his play for her. While she was gimping around collecting it, he starts ranting about his play where the actors fuck onstage. I said ‘oh, like live porn,’ and he said ‘no, it’s raw art.’ Then he gets all hopped up talking about how he will have to play the guy because he is bold and edgey like that, and he is looking for an intense girl, a girl indie and serious enough to have sex onstage. Rehearsals will start soon… He kept repeating the last part, and staring at my tits. Either he was retarded or bipolar. I asked him if it was a paying role. He said no.

I would like to tell you I wouldn’t have nailed this twat in front of his 4 friends for cash, but that would be a lie, and I’m no liar. And Melanie never heard from him again after he ran off with all her paper.

Kim Kardashian has had sex for money in front of people (via video), so I bet she would have nailed this playwright anyway for kicks, or for money if she wasn’t so rich. And Kristin Davis’ career, despite the upcoming ‘Sex and the City’ movie, has been in the tank. I am guessing Davis being seen with Kardashian means she is 5 minutes from a 40 year old sex tape, or she is just inquiring about advice. Pure speculation. Maybe they are planning one together? That’s something I don’t want to see (mostly because Kardashian’s ass-implants scare me).

Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

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