Lisa Rinna was out wearing some tight pants the other day and you shouldn’t really care because you saw her naked plastic ass photoshopped in Playboy this past year and they may have strategically blocked out her pussy lips so that we’ll never know if they are as big, swollen and red as the lips on her face are, but in the event you want to get off to her because you are weird, you can always do a google search so that you’re not stuck jerking off to bullshit pictures like this and that’s all I have to say about this nobody…who is more of a somebody than me…otherwise I wouldn’t be talking about her…but I would be talking about me….which I guess I kind of am….how annoying of me.
I missed these pictures yesterday because I am not a very thorough worker. I don’t really pay much attention to detail and I get distracted easily, which I like to think is the reason I never graduated high school, I could never hold down a job, and why I drink. So I figured I might as well put them up a day late, because some of you may have missed the science experiment gone wrong, that is Lisa Rinna’s plastic surgeried body, and some of you may want to see that no matter how much money you invest into your shit, it’s still gonna fall apart and get sloppy one day and I know that her shit may look better than most young people you see on the beach today, but that’s just because young people today are useless fucking, rich, slobs who were raised by videogame systems and potato chips, I saw the movie Wall-E, I know how shit’s gonna pan out for us, so here’s a sloppy old doctored ass that is sadly better than your young teenage ass, provided you’re the 18 year old slut I fantasize that I am writing this site for everyday….
I hate these staged bikini stunts to get into the tabloids, but I guess I got no choice but to post them….cuz I am addicted to the process…and by process I mean bikinis even when the cunt in the bikini is acting like an asshole…
You know when your favorite pair of leather shoes you bought at the Salvation Army because you liked the idea of wearing a pair of shoes someone may have likely died in, not to mention becaue it is all you can really afford, and they seemed like they were in good enough condition, other than the smell of some other asshole’s foot fungus still lingering in the shit, but you wear those fuckers religiously, because walking outside without shoes is disgusting, and because they are your only fuckin’ pair. You slowly develop a relationship with them and as time goes on you actually start developing feelings. It’s like your trusty old shoes will get you over that puddle, or through that broken class, and you’ll do your best to make sure you don’t piss on them, or throw up on them, you know, taking the fuckers under your fucking wing and then one day you realize all the wear and tear is getting to them, so you buy some shoe goo in hopes of rebuilding your buddy, because you aren’t ready to say goodbye. That bandaid solution works for a while but you realize the leather is getting hard for some reason, like it’s old and dried up and there’s nothing you can do. You rub leather oil on it, you try you best to keep it alive, until one day it is too late and the whole thing falls the fuck apart. What was once a perfect fitting shoe some other asshole owned, is now some loose, floppy, dead cow on your fuckin’ feet and there’s nothing you can do about. No surgery to save it and you just have to accept that your time together is over….Well that’s kinda what’s happening to Lisa Rinna’s plastic surgery body, what looks rough and tough like leather is just some sloppy vile mess and soon she’ll have to accept the one-piece bathing suit when she hangs out at the beach…because her stomach is offensive.
I used to know a bitch who was into suction on her pussy. She made this device with a plastic cup and a garden hose that she’d but over her vagina and start sucking and one day I was lucky enough to watch. She said something it being the only way she can get off, but I’ll tell you the space creature shit that happened to her vagina under that kind of pressure was disgusting as a vagina should never be seen under those conditions, and it was the one time I couldn’t get off to a naked bitch who wasn’t my wife and the shit looked a lot like Lisa Rinna’s mouth.
Here is Lisa Rinna on the beach and she is fuckin’ jacked and I guess not eating is the least she can do after spending all that money over the years on lips, tits, and labia reduction surgery that has yet to be confirmed but would explain what the hell is on her face.
Lisa Rinna is on a book tour to promote her new book called “Use My Face Lips Like They Were My Vagina Lips” and it’s about how she got and maintained a career in Hollywood.
Here she is reading a chapter on technique that has proven to really work for her and can’t help but acting it out for the 3 perverts who happened to already be in the store when she got up to speak.
A friend of mine who lives in LA sent me this picture he took on his camera phone of Lisa Rinna’s ass in a coffee shop a good 3 months ago. Now, I guess he’s not really a good friend of mine, otherwise he would have followed her home and made sure he got some pics of his dick in her full lipped mouth, or deflated lipped pussy, but now that we’ve got Playboy, we don’t need anymore of that.
Yes, this could be of anyone, but that’s all part of the fun of creeper pics. If you have any creeper pics of anything funny of unsuspecting girls, even if they aren’t as “famous” as Rinna, which isn’t very famous, email them to me to masturbate to. Thanks in advance.
Lisa Rinna did Playboy. These are the pictures. In the event you wanted to see how she maintained her pubic hair. Even if unsure whether anything in this picture is real, it’s still better than jerking off to the Real Doll website using your rubber vagina, because the rumor is that Rinna’s rubber vagina is actually self-lubricating…
I didn’t host the pics because Playboy isn’t a fan of people doin’ that, but if they hate people posting their content, they should probably keep a closer watch on their shit. Maybe not let their employees have access to email. It’s not like I hacked into their computer to find these, or that I ever would, in fact, I think casting Rinna to do Playboy is a huge fucking mistake, she’s totally irrelevant, sure, I’m down with seeing EVERYONE naked, but if I was a big company, I’d try to go for up and coming stars or people that we actually want to see naked.
That said if I get sued over Lisa Rinna, even though I just embedded some images, that would probably be the biggest proof that I am low fucking grade.
Either way look at the pics and thanks to my good friends at Totallycrap.com for posting these 5 days ago and not bothering sending me an email to let me know about it.
Lisa Rinna is old, doctored, and pretty fucking fit. She’s in this month’s playboy, I haven’t seen it yet, but with that vagina on her face, I guess there’s really no point in seeing her actual pussy, it’ll just be some deflated mess in her panties that will just let me down and my life is filled with enough of that, so I don’t want to deal with it right now. You know keep the dream of a collagen pussy alive.
I think these pics are from the weekend and hit yesterday, I’m slow. Deal with it.
Hey Fat Chicks, if you’re wondering how she stays fit, watch this video….
The real reason I hate breast implants is because the girls who get them change their mousy attitudes into something I find annoying. They become the Spring Break college girl who I hate, and their new found confidence is irritating for a guy who likes girls who have no confidence. I don’t like the new found attention they get over a set of tits and I don’t like that they get addicted and keep getting refills like shit was Subway, and end up looking like robots with hardened silicone busting out of the seams to match their usually hardened face, but every once in a while a Lisa Rinna comes along with her plastic surgery addicted face and her set of fake tits that I guess she’s kept hanging for a bunch of years, cuz shit aren’t offensive and almost look like they’d be good enough to take a nap on and by nap I mean titty fuck…..now all she’s gotta do is lift that melting ass and she’d be a half decent 50 year old plastic piece of shit.
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Since Lisa Rinna is a fucking robot and made of fiberglass and silicone, I don’t know how excited you will be to see her silicone filled nipples on her botox filled face, but I’m going to post it anyway, because last time I checked, you were a weird kid saving up to buy yourself a sex toy, so a little silicone and plastic won’t really throw you off, even when this real doll is probably 60 fucking years old and ready to go to Real Doll heaven because her vagina is all blown out and a real doll without a vagina is really not worth keepin’ and it’s time to buy a new one, unless you’re this guy .
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Lisa Rinna likes plastic surgery more than most people and she still looks like a fucking monster to me, but seeing her tits busting out of her low cut top is enough to make me stare. Not necessarily the same kind of staring I do on the daily when girls in their summer dresses walk by me, or the kind of staring I got caught doing at some college after party I managed to crash a few months ago, that lead me to hiding in the bathroom closet watching girls roll through to pee, use coke, get busy with radoms and whatever else went on before I passed out and was found by some frat boy who tried playing the hero by getting rough with me before I sold him on the idea of putting a video camera where I was hiding because it would be good content, but more the kind of staring that happens everytime I see a retarded person limping around confused at the busy grocery story trying to use 4 year old coupons while buying their 3 bottles of coke with one hand down their shit stained inside-out pants, which has happened more than once.
Lisa Rinna is not necessarily a good thing, but is kinda entertaining when no one’s around to judge you or your freaky fetishes, like the week I spent practicing infantilism in the privacy of my own home. I was just trying to relive a childhood I never had, but quickly changed my tune when I realized there was no one there to change my diaper and I was starting to get a rash, making the whole thing pretty humilating.
The thing I like about Lisa Rinna is that she looks like she was in some kind of nuclear waste accident that made her look like some kind of mutant you’d jerk off to in one of your favorite comics, but the only accident that happened in her life is that she made enough money to pay a dude to mangle the fuck out of her face and body because she thought it made her look pretty.
It turns out that when she parades that catcher mitt face of hers around in a bikini, some of you fall into the trap and think it’s hot, while I just see an unnatural mess of a woman, but I guess if she puts that much attention into her appearance, she probably is good in bed, or at least has a pretty hot designer pussy, hopefully not one that she design, because based on her track record, what she thinks looks good actually looks scary.
I just walked behind an 18 or 19 year old girl who was running her mouth off to her friend about how much she masturbates and how she likes it when her boyfriend cums in her without realizing there were people around her, like most obnoxious motherfuckers who think the world revolves around them and the street is as private as their bedroom since they don’t know the random fuckers around them, but the unfortunate thing about that is that despite not caring about what everyone around them thinks, they don’t bother getting completely naked in public for me to masturbate and cum inside my belly button and they just air their dirty laundry and gossip for all to hear and for no one to care about, and up until today, girls on cell phone conversations never interested me and really just made me want to punch them in their pretty made up faces.
Either way, I hear this cum and masturbate talk coming out of this girl and I start picking up the pace to hear where this is going because it’s likely going to be good and then next thing I know, I’m out of breath because I am a better sitter than walker and she’s turning into McDonald’s and all I can think about how her pussy she speaks so candid about smells like big mac sauce.
The same things run through my head about this Lisa Rinna Bitch as she parades around her plastic face and plastic tits like she’s still on Melrose Place and people actually care, but I have a feeling that she doesn’t have a pussy, she got it sewn up in hopes of being a more true to life representation of Barbie and if she does it smells like Formaldehyde cuz she’s trying to keep shit from wasting away (rotting).
I wasn’t going to cover any Emmy Awards shit because the Emmy Awards are fucking lame and it was my attempt in protesting them. Reality is that I tried to watch them yesterday because I figured it would inspire me to hate the world more than I do or maybe even take the 4 hours of my life away from me. I promised a reader that I would live-blog but that didn’t happen. Life lesson, never trust a drunken Mexican.
I first tuned in on my neighbors TV during the pre-show red carpet shit and saw the fag from Queer Eye doing fashion play-by-play like it was a fucking sports show. I thought the concept was stupid and was forced to change channels, but that was after I saw lesbian Ellen and her wife who is not so lesbian but realizes that eating Ellen’s pussy is good for business, being interviewed. Ellen was a manic weirdo who must have been jacked on something and it made me question why we let Lesbians on TV.
I tuned in again for the opening performance that was some Family Guy shit, Stewie and the dog were singing about how shitty TV is, I think I laughed a few times but I was drunk and don’t really remember. I do know that I like Family Guy and think it’s the best written show, so I hope they won something.
Ryan Seacrest came on and didn’t make me or anyone in the audience even crack a smile. His jokes weren’t jokes and it was nice to see his Seacrest ship sink, I can only hope this continues in the next events he is involved in, because his demise is well deserved. He’s a 5 minutes of fame gone wrong situation, you know the kind of dude you hate that gets on some Dating Show but somehow turns it into years of success when his talent only should have got him to the elimination round….
The second Ray Romano came on was the second I turned the shit off. I hate his voice and seeing him on TV reminded me why I don’t watch TV. I used to go crazy everytime his show came on, I am talking throwing shit at the TV to make the pain stop.
I also kept catching my neighbor staring at me while rubbing his leg, and despite being all for dirty old men, I can’t accept dirty old men giving me the eye mainly because I am not into gay but also because I am disgusting looking and anyone giving me the eye whether man or woman is clearly fucked in the head and someone I don’t want to be around…I felt like I accidentally walked into some kind of secret gay man hook up zone like a public bathroom that fags use as a meeting place to fuck while their wives are out shopping or some shit…and despite it being more exciting than the Emmies, I still had to get the fuck out.
Here are some pictures of the event:
Christina Aguilera and Her Pregnancy Tits
Eva Longoria and Her Mexican Ass
Hayden Panettiere and Her Floppy Tits Hiding Under a Tent of a Dress I can only assume she wanted to wear adult sizes for once and this is the result
Heidi Klum is Living Beauty and the Beast
Jaime Lynn Sigler Brings Her Eating Disorder as Her Date
Jaime Pressly 4 Months After Letting The World Knows She Has Unprotected Sex By Having a Baby
Jennifer Love Hewitt Hiding Her Fat Ass We All Know She Has…
Kaley Cuoco Because She’ll Never Be On TV Again
Katherine Heigl is the Big Winner…Literally…
Kristen Bell Because I Don’t Know Who She Is…
Lisa Rinna Because She Hasn’t Been on TV for a Decade…But Her Fake Tits Get Her Past Security…
Maria Menounos Because She’s Greek and Takes it in the Ass
Michelle Pfeiffer is Old But Still Hotter Than Anyone You Know…
Phoebe Price Because Her Dress Has Windows
Portia DiRossi Because She’s a Fake Lesbian and We Like Fake Lesbians Because It Means They Will Let Us Fuck Them While They Eat Out Their Friends…
Teri Hatcher Because She Banged Ryan Seacrest
I am sure there are more, but this took me long enough to do and I am over the Emmy Awards….
Bonus – Christina Aguilera Performance with Tony Bennett
I was never really into this bitch because she’s pretty unknown and I was too busy getting drunk and getting in trouble during the Melrose Place years. I did know a group of crackheads who were hooked on the shit but I did what I could to stay away because getting caught up in a TV show is almost as depressing as never having a career after a TV show. Either way, bitch knows what she’s good for and distracts us from her busted chpped up plastic surgery ridden face by playing with her tits like they are nintendo.
I just spent the last 20 minutes watching some hot chick in tight pants trying to change a light bulb in a women’s clothing store. She was standing on a ladder that didn’t reach so her attempt involved a lot of stretching, bending, squeezing and climbing up and down a step-ladder. She didn’t notice me watching for the first 10 minutes but as a crowd formed around me and we all watched her like she was a shitty adult soap opera she realized and wasn’t too happy. Some asshole tried to be the hero and went in to help her probably in hopes of getting her number while ruining it for the rest of us, but it was probably one of the hottest things I’ve seen all day and inspired me to get back to the gym to watch girls taking yoga classes because it is better than porn.
Here are Lisa Rinna Grabbing her fake tits pics while making sex faces, not sex faces I’ve ever seen, when I used to fuck girls would either be sleeping, or clenching their eyes waiting for the traumatic experience to end…not because I raped them, but because they couldn’t really stomach me.
