I guess it’s only fitting that a dying Mischa Barton would be at a make a wish foundation and not because kids are wishing to see her but because she’s wishing to get relevant work before she dies of a drug overdose or whatever the fuck it is she’s into that makes her look like serious fucking shit….and here are the pictures because I guess we should all take her in before she Corey Haims / Brittany Murpheys herself cuz sometimes celebrity life just gets you self destructive….

On a side note, I figure it’s worth mentioning that her ex-boyfriend seems to be doing fine without her – even though the fact he gets any pussy always amazes me – because here he is with his groupie pussy and her hot cleavage – I guess that’s what happens when you make teenage girl accessible music with the whitest most non-threatening suburban black guy around….and in all honesty Cisco Adler doesn’t irritate me at all – even though most people do….

Pics via Fame

One of the bigger jokes that happened in Hollywood in the last 24 hours are these pictures of Mischa Barton trying to get herself made up, done up, cleaned up in this makeover.

You see the last few months she’s been drinking hard, rockin’ a cocaine bloated face, she hasn’t been showering and I put her on the death watch, mainly because she looked like she was one night into a fatal overdose…like a fat swollen corpse but I guess she’s decided to step things up, shower and get her hair and make-up done, to show us that she’s not going to give up fully just yet, she’s gonna have at least one more night of beauty and glamor, where everyone notices her new clean hair and big fat tits, but I figure this look lasted a solid 20 minutes before she started sweating, jonesing leading to ripping lines in the taxi to get her fix….

One of the bigges jokes that’s happened in my life in the last 24 hours is that this is my fucking life…..

Pics via Bauer

I’ve put Mischa Barton on Death Watch and the whole thing is very exciting to me. Call me a psycho if you want, but the reality is that I get excited when these celebrities die. I don’t have any on impact on their ultimate self-destruction, I’m irrelevant in their lives, so I don’t feel guilty about how they spend all their bullshit TV or Movie money on drugs, alcohol and in Mischa Barton’s case – baked goods, until eventually their bodies give out on them. See there are people out there who actually kill themselves cuz they have actual problems, cuz they actually hate themselves or can’t live with the shitty hand they’ve been dealt, but celebrities are a fucking joke, they have it all….money, easy access to nightclubs, free clothes and drinks and they don’t need to work. They can travel the world, live large and have a good fucking time, but instead do this, and it make me laugh.

So when Mischa Barton dies, you can expect a tribute here in the form of laughter, and in the meantime we can all watch the demise…

Pics via Fame

I don’t really know what’s going on here. We’ve established bitch has given up on life without actually giving up on life and further proof wasn’t really needed to demonstrate how hurting she actually is but I just couldn’t help myself…I guess this is like a goodbye to all the masturbation material she has provided over the years, even though the only scene worth masturbating to over the years was the under the bed as the dead, puke covered girl who fucked with her dad enough to piss off her mom in the Sixth Sense….

Pics via Bauer

I am willing to give Mischa Barton a little more attention, because despite how fat she’s got the last little while and how shitty her career has gone, I still think she’s got some solid bottom feeding roles ahead of her before she fully gives up, or dies of an overdose and all those roles involve her naked, fucking, using her pussy like a sock puppet, or really just showing off her pussy, cuz I watched the OC and I’m down with seeing her 5 years later, lookin’ 15 years older and substantially more desperate to make money to feed her lifestyle she’s hooked into, hoping maybe getting naked will get her an Oscar, like she was Hilary Swank in Boys Don’t Cry, without realizing she’s cast in American Pie 48 – The Search for Mischa Barton’s Pussy Lip….

Either way, here she is topless in some movie called Assination of a High School President, that I’ve never heard of, but is out on DVD somewhere…

Seriously, I feel like I just threw 5 dollars at this bitch after she jerked me off in a bus shelter, but that couldn’t have been Mischa Barton, Mischa Barton probably still has all her fucking teeth, you know with that whole being a celebrity act she does, and she’s not quite a woman of the gutter yet, but she looks really fucking bad, like her pussy smells and looks like a dying rodents…because it probably does….since this pictures scream that hygiene isn’t really her thing…I guess she’s just practicing for her future career as a crackwhore, I mean if she lives long enough to make it and that makes these pics highly erotic….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

I used to do the Lohan deathwatch before becoming best friends with Lohan and realizing that she’s not going to die anytime soon, so I stopped the shit. So the last 6 months of having no Celebrity Death Watch, except for maybe the occassional Patrick Swayze post cuz I actually know he’s gonna die and that’s way less exciting that Kurt Cobain style surprises that devastate a nation, but the last few weeks I’ve been noticing Mischa Barton getting greyer and greyer lookin, unshowered and disgusting lookin, ready to throw in the towel on the game of life and ready to see if there really is a God and if that God will cast her in one of his stage shows in the sky, which he probably won’t but he’ll probably let her be a real actresses assistant or some shit.

Either way, Mischa Barton is the start of Drunkenstepfather.com’s celebrity death watch and now we just have to wait for her acceptance speech for this glorious honor that I doubt will ever come, because even though I’m alive, this site might as well be dead….it just lays here and does nothing while I just get weirder and weirder….

I met an ex self destructive dude in the woods where I was drinking alone and trying to medidate, you know plan my future, think of what is coming next, plot my escape from the Internet and decide where to escape to, and this asshole rained on my fuckin’ day dreamin’ parade.

He thought I cared about his medical history that he was volunteering, from his drug addiction to hepatitis, to cancer, to a blood infection that made him crazy to his weighloss and walmart shorts before preaching about depression and abuse and how he is a fuckin’ hero in his therapists eyes for breaking free from addiction and having this positive new outlook on life. He preached and preached and fuckin’ went on about how I shouldn’t be drinking, how I shouldn’t be doin’ pill and how a life without the shit is amazing, so amazing that all he fucking talked about was fuckin’ using and dealing with the diseases using gave him, that would be far less of a pain to deal with if he was still using cuz he’d be too high to fuckin’ notice. Either way, I offered him a beer and that was the end of the sobriety talk because he was too busy getting wasted for the first time in 6 months thanks to me.
I wonder what a fall from the top feels like since I’ve always been in the gutter, I hope Mischa writes a memoir before she dies of an overdose cuz I’d love to read about how one day she realized she wasn’t the pretty girl everyone made a big deal about….

I like to think I help people too and here are some pics of Mischa Barton and her drug and alcohol abusing legs.

PICS VIA PacificCoastNews

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart. I shouldn’t be hating on these pictures of Mischa Barton because for the longest time I’ve said she looked her best as the dead kid under the bed with stomach flu from the move Sixth Sense, and now she’s finally goin’ back to her roots, only instead of movie make-up, this shit is real fuckin’ deal unhealthiness and it is really sexy. I guess it’s the same reason I went hunting through the Emergency Room at every hospital trying to find people with Swine Flu or terminal illness to be there last lover like I’m the fuckin’ make a wish foundation, or how my friend applied for a job at the morgue to wash dead people, because of all the pussy he figured he’d getto see that wouldn’t say no, only she’s not dead yet, just going through a bit of a rough patch that may leave her dead while lookin’ like death and the whole thing is far too gothic for me, bitch needs to invest in some blush, or a spray tan, maybe even a vacation cuz this is almost to the point of scary.

People are making a big deal about Mischa Barton lookin’ like she may have a drug addiction or alcohol problem, cuz it looks like she’s out of control and needs to go to rehab, or she may die…wait a minute…no they aren’t. No one give a fuck about her and we’re all happy as she slowy self destructs because she peaked in The Sixth Sense and her sex appeal’s been downhill ever since….and we’re ready for her to disappear and appreciate she’s doin’ the work for us, cuz we don’t wanna go back to jail for someone so worthless…..

Mischa Barton is slowly starting to look more like the kind of girl I like. All she needs to do is lose a couple of teeth. Not shower for a couple of days. Wear the same panties that she half heatedly washes in the bus station sink with handsoap, giving it the fresh scent of asshole, aids, old pussy and public washroom when it take them off with my teeth and dig in for an expensive all you can eat mean that you will remember for a lifetime when you are forced to get your tosils removed a few weeks later from the severe infection. I think I’m in love.

Mischa Barton was in Montreal. I went on a hunt for her because she wouldn’t answer my twitters and no one I knew could help me get in touch with her, so this is my post to say she’s a fucking cunt, she thinks she’s better than me because she was on some TV show, she was in some movies, she has a lot of money and guys want to fuck her sloppy asshole, giving her this ego, well we could have had something real special but she just threw it all away. Bitch.

So drug addict party girl Mischa Barton is following Tara Reid’s footsteps of being the girl who was once in movies and on TV who managed to take a liking to cocaine, drinking and traveling around the world. Only instead of going to the Ed Hardy, Girls Gone Wild, mainstream college parties, Mischa Barton, is doing the underground, electo, indy, hipster, artist, fashion, rich kid scene that’s slowly becoming mainstream as Kanye steals their music and style and American Apparel continues to open stores and Urban Outfitters continues to hire these rich kid hipsters to be in their campaigns….

I guess the drugs are good because she manages to stomach spending time with this weird lookin dude, who’s eyes are freakishly close together, motherfuckin’ cyclops shit, that looks like he’s eating his fucking face because he’s got no chin and I feel like I’m watching a fucking cartoon. Here are the pics…Nice Pants.

Here is the guy with a girl I’d like to fuck the trendy hipster bush, because brazilians are for Ed Hardy chicks, off of….

And just so you know, Mischa Barton and her ugly friends were at Sting’s 17 year old daughter’s concert. Her band is called Coco and the Ladyboys or I Blame Coco, I’m not really sure, but I do know that she looks like a dirty rich kid hipster try hard and here’s some pictures of her performing like an idiot…

I figured I’d dig into my rich LA kid vault and pull up recent pictures of Mischa Barton partying, because they are her friends. I’m talking kids from really rich producers, owners of TV stations, record executives, who all moved to New York together after graduating high school together, to live the bohemian independent life in the Lower East side, all funded by daddy and mommy or grandpa. You know where they live in artist lofts, pretend to be artists, do drugs and party to waste time with each other, only to fly back home on weekends on their private jets to have their maids do their laundry, or to party with their friend who hasn’t made the move yet, or their cross-country lover, they have so they can ichat and be emo about. They are like hipsters only they aren’t poor, they just latch onto whatever the next big thing and ride it out motherfucker until something more interesting comes along, and I’m not hating, who really gives a fuck, at this point everyone’s got a better life than me, so I’ve come to terms with my shit, as Mischa Barton slowly sinks deeper and deeper into shit, at least when she goes broke, she’ll be able to call on them to bail her out. Good planning….

Here’s an over glorified American Apparel model, also known as Mischa Barton, hanging onto her career as hard as she can cause her management or PR people dropped her and she needs to survive by taking off her clothes…the way I like it.

What I don’t like is this fucking hipster trash, it’s taking over the mainstream, it is everywhere I fucking look, from Lady Gaga to fucking Sharon Stone. There are so many insecure fuckers, trying to be on top of the latest fashion craze or music craze all while sucking up to each other and reassuring each other that being as annoying and outrageous as possible will help people forget that 2 years ago they were listening to Britney Spears and wearing The Gap and Juicy Couture like they were Paris Hilton, because at the time it was the cool thing to do. Fucking shapeshifting assholes.

It is all so fucking contrived, but I guess all it takes is sucking up or sucking off to be make it in the world, so get fucking cracking cause I made the mistake of telling everyone to fuck themselves and I sleep on a shit stained box spring, not a life I’d recommend for anyone.

Bonus that’s not really a bonus, DJ AM’s social climbing record carrying, unattractive whore of a girlfriend is an American Apparel Model because she’s not hot enough to be a real model and here she is leaving some exclusive party he DJed at and she got into because she’s fucking him, when otherwise she’d be drinking pitchers of beer with kids in skinny jeans and flannel shirts as they count their trust fund change to buy some blow or some shit…