I was just woken up in a panic because my whole room was filled with smoke. I was convinced that the building was on fire and that I was going to have to be a fucking hero. I looked out the window and saw a cloud of smoke and heard sirens and knew I had to act. Since my wife was still asleep, I didn’t want to walk her up, because she’d slow us all down by not being able to fit down the fire escape, making us all feel guilty about leaving her behind, this way, she’d probably sleep through it. Choosing casualties is all a matter of survival. I did grab my computer though because it’s my one worldly possession that I can’t live without and ran outside, only to find it was the building down the street that is next to a gas station that I am still waiting to hear explode and now they’ve routed all mainstreet traffic up my street so outside my window is a fucking freeway.

I guess the point of my story is that I am a hero even when the fire is down the street and I handled the situation in a way that only a hero could. I am pretty annoyed of the smell so I’ve turned to the internet to distract me.

I found some nipslip picture that I am only posting this because it’s been a long fucking time since I’ve seen a solid nipslip and even when I have never heard of the celebrity because she is foreign and old it’s still worthy to me. Her name is Ornella Muti and I don’t know when these pics are from…and I realize she’s not the hottest chick out there, but nipple is fucking nipple, stop complaining….