It looks like Samantha Ronson grew out her beard, put on her trademark hat and made an official public appearance with her new pussy now that Lohan and her are rumored to not be together anymore. I think it’s nice to see her coming out of her shell by not hiding her hormone therapy and really coming to terms with her and her ambiguous sexuality because in her case it really is a genetic thing because she is a twin and if you’ve seen pictures of her mother you’d be surprised her uterus was sober enough to get the right amount nutrients and growth hormones to not give birth to a pile of muddy flesh.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

In being a total cunt of a celebrity who thinks she is more important than the rest of the world because she was in a few shitty movies when she was a kid, but who the media fixated on for so long, inflating her ego, who virtually has no money and is a millionaire at best, who lives with her girlfriend who is from a wallet fuckin’ groupie mother, who is definitely a rich kid, but not as rich as you think they are, they are just the kind of rich kid who show off their shit, flaunt their shit and live like fuckin’ pigs who are excessive to feed their useless miserable mooching existence with things they buy with money that they barely earned for themselves, because their daddies didn’t hug them enough when they were kids, all while treating normal people like shit, because they are too into themselves to be conscious of other people, like this poor fuckin’ massage girl who they called at 1 am, because someone is high maintenance and needs a massage “This fucking second” and the whole thing disgusts me.

I mean unless this bitch gives rub and tugs in which case a 1 am massage makes total fuckin’ sense, but she doesn’t look Asian or Russian, so I’m thinkin’ this is more about being a diva and less about getting off on a drunken late night where you can’t find pussy to call your own.

Samantha Ronson DJed the stripclub opening Pam Anderson was at and I wonder if she found love for 10 dollars a song like I have so many times.

I always laugh when I see lesbians at the stripclubs I go to, they are usually really fat, manly, horny bitches who all the strippers flock to because they feel less violated when something that claims to have a pussy slaps their ass, despite the fact that there’s no real proof she’s a woman, and really all evidence points to penis.

They always seem to be out of control, drunk, screaming, annoying, flashing the strippers their tits, putting money in their mouths and laying on stage, eager to get pussy and it is like watching an obese person at the all you can eat buffet, knee deep in mash potatos, if you know what I mean. It’s one of thoseKaty Perry lesbian fantasy killer situations that makes all the guys in the club hate that she’s stealing the limelight….

On a sidenote, is this the end for Ronson, I mean all the stripclub DJs I’ve ever seen are pretty bottom of the fucking barrel, does leaving Lohan mean a life of awkward parties, stripclubs and back alley abortion clinics, you know bringing music to ease the pain of killing your unwanted fetus.

On another sidenote, I am sure she got paid 20,000 dollars to do this, and the place I go, the DJ only gets paid in handjobs.

Let’s do one more sidenote, I hate you.

I remember a time my wife wasn’t too fat to get her period. Those were horrible fucking weeks building up to the shit. Not because it meant no sex with her, because that was something I fucking celebrated, but it meant that she would be fucking nuts.

I can’t imagine what throwing drug, alcohol, insanity, lebsianism to the mix, but the whole thing is pretty fucking funny. Not cuz I hate Lohan or Ronson, but because I hate drama and their lives are so fucking stupid, makes for good times.

I’ve texted both of them, they didn’t answer, I don’t like being ignored or stood up via the internet. Cunts.

I got this email:

this is why lindsay and sam are together…because sam looks like lindsay’s dad.

i’m no scientist…but i think lindsay might need some therapy to heal her issues with her dad…so she doesn’t date chicks that look like him.

that’s sick babe.

comparison pic attached…

Now I am no a scientist either, but I don’t think this is an issue of science, I mean it’s definitely not the cure to addiction or HIV, but it is common for girls to date dudes who look or remind them of their fathers. I guess when their dad’s are total fucking fuck ups who I hate and don’t even know, they turn to pussy, but I guess they just can’t break free from going for what they know.

It’s no secret that Lohan is hopped up on the booze and drugs she snorts as a result of having horrible parents and no childhood making her this weak scared victim, it’s also no secret that Sam Ronson looks like a man, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say that Ronson looks like’ Mike Lohan, but it wouldn’t be a shock if we found out she was one of his many love children he doesn’t know exist because he was blacked out from substance abuse and Dina Lohan’s annoying demands.

I am going to take a wild guess here and assume that the Paparazzi didn’t graduate Journalism with Honors back in College. Maybe it’s because they are immigrants who get paid a dollar a day to throw out their broken english while stalking celebrities, maybe it’s gotta do with them being the scum of the fucking earth most likely petty ex drug dealers trying to get legit and jumping on a make money fuckin’ quick scheme, but asking Samantha Ronson if she still loves Lohan is really just a useless fucking question. Firstly, she’s going to obviously say yes, secondly, who gives a fuck, I mean I want to hear about the reason for the fight, I have a feeling it was over what all couples fight about….deciding on matching tattoos, or maybe it was about who paid the last cable bill, or even about something a little deeper than that like over what movie their going to watch when they get back to the hotel room, but more importantly, I want to hear about the make-up sex, in detail, possibly in video.

Either way, it’s nice to see Ronson tell them paparazzi off, because she’s usually pretty calm/quiet and nice about things, so telling them that their question was stupid is a big step. I expected more out of her, she’s supposed to be a lesbian and lesbian are usually a lot angrier than this, at least when directed at me for asking them for a blowjob because I do not believe they are actually lesbians because everyone knows lesbians don’t exist, they are just rape victims and girls with daddy issues or seeking attention in clubs, and are scared of the cock and forced to an alternative lifestyle until they get over that shit….

I guess things are rocky in the world of fake celebrity lesbian relationships that were set up as a publicity stunt and that are now getting hard to keep up because the dying need for penis, because here’s a video of Lohan bitching out Ronson at Mansion on New Year’s. I am sure Ronson deals with this shit everyday, because Lindsay is one of those high maintenance, unstable, needy bitches you’d only date if it mean you’d make 3,000,000 dollars a year while with them. The funniest thing in this video is that they aren’t fighting about coke, or jealousy, they are fighting over me and by me I mean over who used up all the coke. I just have that affect on fake celebrity relationships.

Everyone is freaking out about Samantha Ronson making 3,000,000 dollars a year as a DJ and claim that she’s only getting the 25,000 dollar a gig price because club promoters think she’s going to be carting Lohan around with her and is pretty much using Lohan to get the big payout, but bars and clubs are fucking sketchy business, run by the mafia to launder money and there’s tons of cash that needs to go around and get accounted to prevent people from going to jail, so people in the bar industry have always spent tons of money on various DJs, acts, parties, hosts, whatever, because they have tons of cash to do it, whether celebrities are involved in the mix or not….

Sure, more mainstream people know who she is now and care about who is DJing the party more than they used to, but that’s why these celeb DJs exist. People don’t know if someone can mix a record together well or not, they care about who is mixing that record and if they recognize any of the songs the DJ is playing so they can get on the table and dance around like idiots while singing along….

I snuck into a Ronson party last year when they were just rumored being together and shit was fucking packed with chachi motherfuckers who bought bottle after fucking bottle in some sea of cheese that made me want to kill myself, and that made the club a couple hundred thousand dollars, so why shouldn’t the DJ who people came out to see, see some of that money since the club was pushing her as “Lohan’s possible Girlfriend” to sell tickets. Seems fair to me….

A few years ago, DJ AM was in town and he got paid over 100,000 dollars to play one night with Nicole Richie when they were fucking, and he also has a million dollar deal with a Vegas club to play on a weekly basis. That’s 1 million dollars to work one day a week for a year. He also owns two night clubs and a management company that represents a bunch of these celeb/mainstream DJs who all get paid between 10k and 30k a gig, depending on when and where. So he laughs at the 3,000,000 dollars Ronson makes, while counting the 15 or 20 million dollars he probably makes doing the same thing….

I know this because a promoter wanted to organize a birthday party for the site, and I wanted celebrity DJs there because I thought it would be funny to throw shit at them while they DJed and not getting kicked out since it was my fucking party and I’ll throw ice at the overpriced celebrity DJ if I want to, so I reached out to the booking agents, and the cheapest quote I got was 15,000 dollars for any of them on an off night, like a Sunday or Monday. So instead of getting the funding to throw pies at AM while he Djayed, the idea was flushed down the toilet.

So these people make fucking bank,they party and drink all night, play music, fuck hot chicks and travel the world and people come out to dance to their boring, sweet sixteen, mainstream sets, but at least they are doing something for the party, unlike the time Paris Hilton came to town, she got paid 80,000 dollars and a bunch of coke to show up to an event, Hilary Duff, Christina Aguilera, Tila Tequila, Kim Kardashian, Pam Anderson, Marissa Miller, P Diddy, and a lot more celebs have rolled through here and they all cost more than 25,000 dollars a night and they just sit around for an hour pretending to drink before heading back to the hotel, so to put it all in perspective, it’s really not all that crazy, even if 95% of their sets is playing other people’s music….and what it all comes down to is that we’re idiots struggling to pay our rent because we didn’t have the foresight to get on this DJ train and date a celebrity of our owne, while Ronson laughs her way to the bank….

Here’s another video of Lohan and Ronson shopping. I don’t really know why I am bothering posting it, but it kinda made me laugh, not because they follow Ronson around where she tells them they are following the wrong person, or because they confuse her for not being a Jew and ask how her Christmas shopping is going, and not because some New York accent screams out of no where at Lohan asking “How’s your fawtha?”, completely out of fucking context, but I guess trying to either rub in the fact that she has no relationship with her dad, or that she’s got major daddy issues, or maybe he has no idea they are estranged and have issues, or maybe he just likes being an asshole, but because they ask Ronson if she’s had the Ronson shake and Ronson’s got know idea hat they are talking about, but probably assumed they were asking about one of Lohan’s bedroom tricks, but she laughs it off when she realizes that it’s the Milkshake Paparazzi guy trying to push his shit on the people he exploits…Either way, I guess the whole thing really wasn’t all that funny, so I’ll leave you some Asian dude singing Touch My Body because it’s amazing.

Halloween was probably about 3 weeks ago, I’m not very good with dates, since everyday is the same hamster wheel for me, but I think it’s time for Samantha Ronson to take her death mask off. I guess it’s the late nights, the drugs and the drinking, the dealing with Lohan’s pussy and spending hours trying to lick it clean, a task even a person with all the stamina in the world would probably burn out from.

I feel sorry for this girl, you know dealing with a cunt like Lohan every fucking day. Child stars aren’t normal humans, they are needy, selfish and fucking dangerously insane, and to get emotionally involved with one, is probably a good way to get dangerously insane by association. You know, always being criticized and in her cunt shadow, and then getting dropped the second she decides she wants cock, which with Lohan, could happen any second, and in the entire mess, you don’t get a chance to enjoy your moment in the limelight, you know getting dolled up and putting make-up on to look your best, instead you get psychological abuse, and a face that looks like HIV ravaged it….because you’re up all night babysitting an unappreciative, overly dramatic peice of shit who takes herself too fucking seriously, is overly intense, and thinks her life is some kind of dramatic series that never got picked up by a studio, and that she’s the fuckin’ star of….if you know what I mean…and the good news is that it always ends in suicide..

I was sent in these pictures from a source close to Sam Ronson that read:

Stepfather (if that is your real name),

I am a friend of Samantha Ronson’s. We have known each other for a very long time, I even went to high school with her. Since she started dating Lindsay Lohan, she hasn’t been returning my calls, or facebook friend requests and I find the whole thing pretty annoying. Sure, we went our separate ways and only spoke sporadically the last 5 or 6 years, but I don’t think this new found fame is any reason for her to neglect those she was once close to, especially when all I wanted was to say hi and see how she’s been holding up with all this media attention.

I went digging through some old photos and came across this one of her showering, I am sure you’ll find them entertaining. You can post them on your website, but I would like to remain anonymous.

Since I like to help people out, Sam Ronson, if you’re reading this, which you aren’t, since you don’t know I exist, but I’ll say it anyway….Please don’t forget where you came from because you are too busy babysitting Lindsay Lohan with your tongue in her vagina. You’re not too good for the people you once liked and tt’s just not a very decent thing to do, but posting pics of you naked is. Ps – Nice tits.

I can’t confirm or deny the legitimacy of this email or the pictures included, but they look legit to me and that’s all that matters.

One of my life’s great tragedies is that I am not friends with Sam Ronson or Lindsay Lohan, but I could have told you they were having sex a long time ago. I could have also confirmed it when I went to a Sam Ronson show here that gave me a headache, when I went to take a piss and she was at the urinal next to me taking a piss and pulled her fingers out and slid them under my nose and asked me if I liked the sweet smell of Lohan’s cunt , and I didn’t because it smelled more like stale whiskey, cigarettes and a dirty homeless man’s asshole.

Either way, they were on the Loveline, with some asshole wannabe celebrity DJ named Stryker, talking about AM and the plane crash and basically having a who knows AM better conversation, dropping words like “dude” and “homie” in a rough New York rough accent, despite being rich and private school bred from England and Lohan got on the phone to confirm that she is dating Samantha Ronson, I don’t really realize why this is a story. I thought it was already confirmed and it doesn’t matter, what does matter is that those who wear shiny pants together, stay together.

Here’s a little angry lesbian action as Sam Ronson gives the paparazzi the finger while lookin’ like Macauley Culkin or some shit. Now I like Sam Ronson and have defended her and her intentions for at least the last week. I never called her out as a social climbing socialite from a rich family who figured attaching herself to Lohan would get her more money for her DJ gigs, I never said that they probably aren’t fucking or are doing what they are doing to mess with the media because when you grow up as the kid or stepkid of some socialite mother and rockstar, you are taught at a young age what the right and wrong thing to say is, but I do think giving us all the finger is totally out of line. It’s one of those things where you like the media when they give you coverage, otherwise you wouldn’t be hanging out with Hollywood’s badgirl and you wouldn’t date or pretend to date someone so high profile, you’d attach yourself to a nice lowkey lesbian who is probably a whole lot easier to deal with than Lohan.

Beyond just giving us the finger, I ran into someone who went to some event she recently played in Montreal and he said that she ignored his attempts to meet her, she spent most of her time texting someone, and she looked like being there was the last place in the world she wanted to be, despite getting paid 30,000 dollars. In her defense, meeting random local freaks in every city is probably not something I’d be down with either, but I’m not a DJ trying to secure fans. He also told me her music sucked, her set sucked and the whole experience sucked harder than Lohan used to suck dick. The worst thing about her Montreal trip was the fact that she didn’t even reach out to me and ask me to hang so until she does, this bitch is dead to me and her bullshit flippin’ the bird for attention is just that…a cry for attention. That said, Lohan’s got some great tits.

I don’t understand why people give a fuck whether these two are lovers or not, if anything it’s hot as fuck and not something to get all pissed off and punch the wall over, it’s not like you ever had the opportunity to get with Lohan in the first place and the truth is if you really believe, as you print off ever picture you’ve ever seen of her to staple on your wall, and watch every DVD she’s ever been in every night before bed, you can still live out the fantasy of that when she goes back to men, you’ll be the one she chooses.

The point is that seeing a girl with another dude leads to a girl getting married and pregnant and leaving no chance for you to move in, but a girl with another girl always leaves the dream of an open door for another dude to come in and sweep her off her feet. Unfortunately, for me, that guy won’t be me, but I am fully supportive of this union but that’s just because I love watching girls go down on each other. I’m a guy like that.

I feel like I should be the dude getting off (the plane) with them, but that’s not going to happen because apparently the guy I met last night who looks like Sam Ronson thinks I have no chance and I believe him because he seems like an authority on tight jeans, sneakers and funny hats and knows what his people like.

I was surprised to find out that lesbians ate pizza, I always thought they only ate pussy, but here is Lohan and her lesbian cock, Samantha Ronson on a pizza date, proving me wrong.

I always find it funny when the people I’ve known in my life have had to fuck off to rehab and they come back to the normal life and ask me out for a coffee because they don’t drink or do drugs anymore and coffee is their drug of choice. So I have to sit through hours of them spewing their self absorbed bullshit on me, like how they are changed and how they are never going to touch drugs again and how they realized in rehab that they really hated themselves and that is why they were self destructive and now they are working on a better happier life, while I know they are bullshit and 3 months or less later I run into them jacked on coke in a club talking about how they are cured and just dabble in the shit and 6 months later I get a call from them asking me for money, which is pretty fucking desperate because everyone knows I have no money, but I guess they’ve gone through all their other leads and are desperate and then a year later a get a call from a mutual friend telling me they are dead.

I am not saying that Lohan is back on the drugs, I am saying she was never off the drugs. She looks like the kind of girl who has a mother who fed her cocaine when she was 10 to keep a trim figure while staying energetic so that she could make more money for the family, she just went to rehab to save face and make the public and producers think she was making positive changes, while in reality she’s still a vagina lickin’ cokehead with too much money to ever stop and I think I love that kind of determination. Unfortunately, the lesbian cock she’s sockin’ is Samantha Ronson’s and that destroys any lesbian all the sex appeal from a potentially amazing video opportunity, if only another chick was cast for the part.