So I got an email saying that Sarah Michelle Gellar is the Maxim December 2007 covergirl with a link to some of the previews. I was pretty surprised because I feel like she’s fuckin’ washed up and that I have a better chance being a Maxim Covergirl than she does, but that’s only because I have hot tits, for a dude, and that shit should be fuckin’ acknowledged because I’ve spent a lot of time sitting and drinking and eating bad foods to make this shit happen and that’s all I have to say about that.

Here’s an obvious post, but worth everyone’s attention, because that whole Will.I.Am shit is hitting the radio harder than I hit my kids. I don’t actually have kids, but the song is about having a hot body like your momma or some shit and it is annoying, but everyone always says before marrying a chick, take a close look at their mother because that’s what you are in store for. I guess Freddie Prinze Jr. didn’t get that life lesson in riding off your dead dad’s fame school or maybe he did but ignored it because marrying bitch was a career move than one from the heart but I am just hoping that Sarah Michelle Gellar didn’t get her from her momma, because she looks like a fucking troll and trolls have limited sex appeal. Either way Freddie Prinze Jr. is in for a fucking ride and by ride I mean the throwing up part of amusement parks and not so much the fun part of them, which is obviously pickin’ up teenage sluts, because the only girls your age who go to amusement parks are on lame dates with lame dudes who have already exhausted taking them to dinner and movies and every other cliche idea he saw in Romantic Comedies when researching pussy.

I spent last night bent over scaffolding getting fucked from behind on a construction site in downtown LA. The old man who flew me out west is the developer or something (details bore me). If you had been paying attention, you would know me and this guy go way back: I didn’t spread ‘em for him for free then, and I’m not doing it for free now. Old habits die hard.

All in all, it was kind of exciting hanging over the side of an unfinished 20 story building, your bare tits bobbing in the air, watching the tiny clueless people down below. Just you, a 50 year old man, the hum of late night traffic, and the sound of your sloppy genitals smacking the shit out of each other. I came a little.

I have spent most of this morning picking the splinters out of my stomach, but at least this dude doesn’t make me wear special “outfits”, outfits like the one Sarah Michelle Gellar is sporting down below back in 1993. This looks like an impromptu shoot in the corner of a Southwestern restaurant, which means she probably was serious about the Madonna get-up and took the shortbus there. IF, in fact this was a ‘Madonna’ themed shindig or costume party, then she still wins the Tard Award for her posing. So there you go, young Buffy showing you her bra. Go wack off. The end.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

I am not really down on the website at all, I am just tired of seeing the same fucking thing on websites and trying to be the first motherfucker to post the shit on the internet. It’s tedious and I am not really into being first on anything, I am more into sleeping. That said, I passed out yesterday night at nine, that usually doesn’t happen, I think it had something to do with the bottle of wine I drank to kill the hangover. I dreamt about at least 10 really amazing concepts to write about, you know stories that I remembered and shit that happened that I haven’t written about, but now I have forgotten them, because that’s what sleeping does. People say you should sleep with a notebook by your bed, but I am not really into beds, my wife takes up the whole fucking thing, and sleeping on the floor reminds me of when I used to sleep on park benches….I like to call those the good years….

Speaking of Good years, here’s some pics of Sarah Michelle Geller at some hot tub party solo, I guess that’s what happens when you let yourself go, no motherfucker wants to soak in a tub with your tubby ass. I’d still do it, but that’s because I never get to rock the hot tub and ever since I saw that viral video of some slut shitting herself in the hot tub, I wanted to do it too. I feel like a kid who just watched jackass and is trying to light his motherfucking self on fire while stapling his balls to the table…that’s the end of this post.

Bonus - Here is Sarah Michelle Gellar Blowing A Kiss Goodbye to Her Sex Appeal