Shakira’s body defys all odds of physics as we know it, and I mean that in the best possible way. She gives hope to us young girls that we don’t have to starve ourselves in order be attractive. I also read somewhere she’s got an incredibly high IQ, but for all I know her publicist thought it would look good and just threw that in there to try and dim the fact that she looks like a stripper 98% of the time, which may or may not be a bad thing depending who you talk to.

I go to school with this girl who wants to be a stripper, no shit. She wrote about it in an essay for our Creative Writing class in a sort of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” type thing. It wasn’t some shit like “Oh, I wanna do it to put myself through med school” (which is always a lie btw) or even “I just wanna do it to make some cash.” this is actually what she wants to do for a living.

The look on the teachers face was priceless when she walked up to read her essay, and the content was filled with choosing a name which projects the type of image you wish to be known by, how she plans to deal with other strippers who want to fight her, and the art of using the pole to the best of her ability. Most of the girls just shifted uncomfortably in their desks, while the guys all seemed to have a new interest in her after class. I just laughed my ass off at the fact that my stepfather would probably be throwing dollar bills at her within the next 6 months.

I was pretty fucking drunk last night and I don’t really remember anything funny happening except maybe the dude who I caught finger banging some slut he must have met in a bar on a park bench near the bench I rock. It was like a live sex show that didn’t turn me on because I could smell her ratty box from my seat. Don’t get me wrong, random fat girls who let random dudes finger bang them is what makes my world go round but I guess I am just too desensitized to appreciate it.

Speakin’ of desensitized, here is Shakira in see-through, something I have seen so many times a couldn’t give a fuck about it but will post it anyway because you are a fuckin loser and get off to this shit. Loser.