Shakira’s last video was masturbated to everywhere. Seriously, it had so many views on Youtube that there was no way a gang of fucking perverts didn’t have shit on repeat. I think more people saw that video than are actually on the interent daily, it’s lik every Internet user saw the shit 18 times and that’s just not fucking normal, so I can assume that since she’s slutted out to get our attention again after years of being off the radar and already having us hooked, her next video will be some romantic bullshit for the girls to jerk off to, cuz girls look for different things in their masturbation, like emotion, while all I want is to see her South American booty bounce….and she’s already done that….
Either way, here’s a still from the shoot with Rafael Nadal. He plays tennis and I am not even sure that’s Shakira….but they say it is so let’s just pretend….
Shakira needs to invest a little of her Columbian coke money into her costume department. She’s been wearing this discoball tight dress too fucking much and I know hookers, like real low level hookers who don’t have a home who have more outfits than this and wouldn’t be caught dead wearing the same dress every fucking day, unfortunatley for their John’s panties are a whole other story for them though….but that’s not the point, the point is that I’m tired of lookin up her skirt to see a metalic pair of American Apparel shorts like I was at a 16 year old Halloween party, when the girls are dipping their toes into being total whores, but aren’t fully prepared to take the plunge into letting random men see their bare or thonged ass, making this whole outfit a fucking fail on all fucking levels….and here are the pics for you to live out the disappointment of this gutter repeatitive trash with me.
Here’s a video someone shot of Shakira from up close at the lighting of the tree in New York last night. She’s singing Santa Baby, probably the most erotic Christmas Carol because she’s an immigrant whore and as an immigrant whore the only way to get ahead is to use her sex appeal, or whatever she has left of it, because people don’t realize that she’s pushing 40. I think she may have confused the American concept of Santa, cuz the last fat guy with a white beard and a red suit named Santiego was a coke dealer she used to date as a teen growin up in Columbia, cuz he’d buy her everything she wanted…
Either way, I figure if you look close enough you can see her pussy definition, maybe a little ass cheek, definite rockin’ the mic like the cock she used to sing into as she was comin’ up early on in her career and conveniently her midget legs are cut out of the frame making her as close to perfection as she gets…
I think Shakira has lost her appeal in a big way, but that doesn’t mean she has. If you do a Youtube search, you’ll see that people still masturbate to her, at least I assume they do, because the only reason a video would get that many views is because a few motherfuckers spent at least a week goin back to that video for their orgasms.
I know that Shakira is cheating in this outfit by sneaking a pair of gold American Apparel shorts on under her dress so that she’s not flashing the world her panty covered twat, and I find the whole thing a serious fucking disappointment. As an immigrant in the industry, she should go that extra mile to make her stand out amongst the rest, for fear that she’d be sent back to cleaning hotel rooms or whatever else Columbian illegals do when they sneak into the country.
I also know that if the way she is rocking the mic is representing that way she gives head, you may want to tape your dick down, or she may just pull the fucking thing off, and by you I don’t actually mean you, because I know the chances of you banging Shakira are pretty much non-existent….but you get what I am saying…
Either way, less shorts, more pussy…even if these shorts are on to cover your padded Spanx that make her look like she’s got more of a booty than she actually does…..and here are the pics…
The American Music awards are the biggest bottom feeding award show around. In the history of doing this site, Dick Clark, the founder of the show and his boyfriend/clone/successor Ryan Seacrest had their people send me invites at least once, before realizing I’m not American Music Award material because I hate American Music but like American Titties, but for some reason the only pussy I wanted to Investigate like I was CSI belonged to Shakira and not because she uses that pussy as her Columbian cocaine smuggling mule, but because she squeezed her South American ass in this black dress, which was tight enough to distract me from her stalky midget legs…and here are the pics….
We get it Shakira, you had a song with Wyclef on a song and black dudes appreciate your fat ass more than white dudes do but you don’t have to style your hair to look like a fat tourist after getting a local to give her cornrows, who flew down to an all inclusive resorts in Jamaica in hopes of finding a guy horny enough to fuck you and take advantage of you by telling you he loves you in exchange for you mailing him down money every month thinking he’s going to marry you, while really he’s just using you as one of his clients, because let’s face it, he may be poor and willing to fuck anything, but he’s not going to do it for free cuz you are just that disgusting…Either way, nice hair you twat….
I am not sure if a new trend in Hollywood is to let yourself go and age the way nature intended your womanly ass to fucking age, but I do know that I’ve been seeing a lot of gunts lately and I don’t like it one bit. If I wanted to see fucking gunts, I’d join the senior citizen’s aquarobics class at the local community center, because 60+ is where I like to keep the gunts, not on barely 35 year old smuggled Columbian trash everyone is hard over standing around in some ridiculous lookin’ dress that’s squeezing her stomach into all the wrong places, like her menopausal, mom of 5, nature’s pillow in her pubis….I’m not diggin’ this,but your lonely ass probably is.
That’s enough gunt talk for the day…no onto better things…
I hate Shakira. Not only is her command of the english language shitty, but she sings in some weird tribal chant that shoulda been forgotten in Columbia where they appreciate that shit cuz they are all jacked on cocaine.
She did some Bollywood rip off performance that should offend India because it sucked and she shaked her ass because I guess that’s all she’s good for. I am really not diggin’ this at all, but then again why would I, this show is targeted to gay dudes and I guess this was for them, and I’m posting it for you because you haven’t accepted the fact that you’re gay yet. I’, just doin’ my part.
People seem to love Shakira now more than ever because of her comeback in that video everyone jerks off to, so some fashion magazine got her in some photoshoot where they dressed her in some fetish gear and I guess the whole thing is not worth complaining about, but I was always disgusted by girls in their 30s, so to me, Shakira died 2 years ago and no matter what she does will come across as trying too hard to hold onto a time when I was jerking off to her breasts that were small and humble, in a time before her hips didn’t lie….
Everyone is freaking the fuck out about Shakira’s body because she’s done her latin dance proper enough to lose the extra weight on her small titted backside, but all I see is a bitch with uncomfortably short legs. I’m talking bitch strugglin’ walking up stairs or getting into cars, or doin’ regular everyday Columbian things, like running from the police or drug sniffing dogs, and I don’t mean to be picky, cuz this bitch looks hotter than most, has more flavor than most and has the weirdest dance moves that would feel good on my penis at least based on her music video, bit seeing her in this ridiculous shoes is straight up Halloweening….yes, I just invented a word.
Shakira was on America’s Got Talent a few days ago, because apparently you don’t need to be American to be the guest on the show, and she did her stupid dance every motherfucker is masturbating to, despite how fucking awkward lookin’ the shit is. The only reason I am posting this is because I just got on the computer and I am trying to buy time, it’s not because I think she’s got talent…
Everyone has been freaking out about the new Shakira video that I assume has been out for a while, but that I slept on because I don’t really care about bitches who claim their breasts are small and humble, especailly when they aren’t 18 anymore, but according to all my creepy friends at the park, apparently shit is one of those music videos you can jerk off to, which hasn’t happened in a long time, and I guess she can get away with it cuz she pulls the “latin” card, you know where she claims her people are much more in touch with their sexuality and bodies, when in reality all the latin women I know have fat asses and are addicted to eating tacos and will stab you in the neck while you are sleeping because they dreamt you cheated on them, so I tend to stay away from that shit…especially when they sing with her the stupid sounds she makes with her throat that remind me of some kind of duck hunt, or tribal mating call, but I’m not gonna hate on her, even though these pics lead me to believe she’s got short, stalky legs and I hate that shit….
I know that I’d rather see Shakira on all fours with an 14 inch dildo in her ass and a fist in her pussy because I hear when you get a Columbian girl enough coke, everything is fuckin’ possible, they are like cartoon pussy who do shit that other girls find impossible, but since that shit only happens in my imagination, I’ll settle for pictures of her in her leggings leaving the gym, because even though she’s 10 years older than when we first started our one-sided relationship, I still haven’t seen her pussy, so leggings are a good enough reminder that the popstar who got away, may have a second round, ideally a really fucking trashy round in her….ust next time, let’s get some shots from behind….because leggings without being able to check out the ass are really just a waste of fucking time…
The best thing to come out of Columbia since cocaine has got to be Shakira. Not because she reminds Wyclef of a Westside Story, or even because her ass is amazing, but because Columbia is a good for nothing piece of shit country that should be erased from the fucking map, I’m just kidding, I’ve never been to Columbia, I know nothing about Columbia, but where the fuck was I supposed to go with this post, when everyone knows she is the best thing out of Columbia since cocaine because because her ass is amazing. There’s nothing fun in that. I’d rather start wars and shit disturb. So that said, fuck you Columbia, you third rate Mexican wannabe cocksuckers.
Shakira’s body defys all odds of physics as we know it, and I mean that in the best possible way. She gives hope to us young girls that we don’t have to starve ourselves in order be attractive. I also read somewhere she’s got an incredibly high IQ, but for all I know her publicist thought it would look good and just threw that in there to try and dim the fact that she looks like a stripper 98% of the time, which may or may not be a bad thing depending who you talk to.
I go to school with this girl who wants to be a stripper, no shit. She wrote about it in an essay for our Creative Writing class in a sort of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” type thing. It wasn’t some shit like “Oh, I wanna do it to put myself through med school” (which is always a lie btw) or even “I just wanna do it to make some cash.” this is actually what she wants to do for a living.
The look on the teachers face was priceless when she walked up to read her essay, and the content was filled with choosing a name which projects the type of image you wish to be known by, how she plans to deal with other strippers who want to fight her, and the art of using the pole to the best of her ability. Most of the girls just shifted uncomfortably in their desks, while the guys all seemed to have a new interest in her after class. I just laughed my ass off at the fact that my stepfather would probably be throwing dollar bills at her within the next 6 months.
