I always had this idea that dancers were these lean, borderline anorexic lookin’ chicks in tights, before actually going to a local dance school’s dance performance because my stepdaughter gave me a free ticket. I figured getting down to watching teenage girls dancing and not getting naked in the process would be a nice change of pace from what I was used to. I was wrong. Every single girl who came out with her hip hop choreographed Britney Spears backup dancer shit was built like a fucking tank and seeing hot chicks in booty shorts shaking their asses wasn’t really an option, because there were no hot chicks, just these thick, strong Hayden Panettiere chicks squating, popping and locking in some kind of seizure inducing dance battle.

The point is that Cheryl Burke is also a dancer, but not the good kind you want to give 10 dollars a song to, and a thick kind you want to hire to help you move because she’s more fit than any of your deadbeat friends, and here she is in a bikini, showing off her thick dance muscles.

This is some Dancing With The Stars chick who isn’t on the show anymore, but that doesn’t stop her from showing off her dance moves. I think she calls this one the Vagina in Panties Dancing Out of Cars Shuffle or some shit. She’s not hot, she’s not relevant and all she’s doing is showing off her panties and that makes me jealous. I wish life was as easy for me, I’d have no problem flashing a little skin, or my underwear to land jobs and make money for it, instead when I flash a little skin, I make people throw-up.

Speaking of throwing up, I was walking around aimlessly last night and saw a real live pussy in the flesh that didn’t belong to my wife, and it was fucking remarkable. This drunk girl was squatting outside the club she obviously drank too much at, and was puking everywhere as her friends held her hair. I stopped to point and laugh about it and when I looked the girl over, her pussy was glaring back up at me. I am convinced the fuckin’ thing winked at me. Too bad for you, I don’t own a camera.