Cheryl Tweedy Cole is some Girls Aloud Spice Girl wannabe, who married some black David Beckham wannabe, and she is drunk. Some people think she just dropped her keys while going out, others just think she was overserved as she celebrated her 25th birthday, but I know it’s got more to do with her trying to deal the pain of her failed marriage she is trying to restore because like Beckham, her husband cheated on her, because otherwise he wouldn’t be biting Beckham’s style properly and you’d think she’d be more understanding since she stopped eating to bite Posh Spice’s style, but she’s too busy hitting the bottle and feeling sorry for herself. That over dramatic drunk. I guess the good news for Cheryl Tweedy Cole is that alcohol cures all ailments for me and drunk chicks are fun, even when crying and throwing up on themselves because they usually don’t stop you when you try to fingerbang them.

I read somewhere that Cheryl Tweedy Cole is trying to save her marriage and in doing that she’s decided to go on vacation with her husband to re-connect which basically means spend a couple days together fucking. I figure that since this bitch’s life is a vacation since she barely works and married a rich athlete and since she’s been spotted by the pool in her bathing suit so many fucking times in the last 2 years, that running off to the pool won’t do much for them.

I guess what it comes down to is that when the novelty of the big dick and dreams of being with a rap superstar wear off, they are just two people from the opposite sides of the tracks and I don’t know who they were trying to fool in this union, I knew it was only a matter of time before racism would prevail and their little fairytail union would fall apart and now no white dude’s going to want to get a piece because she’s damaged goods. Interracial relationships just don’t work, White Power.

Cheryl Tweedy Cole is hot. She’s also a Posh Spice rip off. She’s from the UK, she’s in a girl band, she’s got a Soccer playing husband and now she’s got rock hard nipples. This girl is fuckin’ skinny and I like it.

I’ve decided that my enemy is the whole institution of Eating Disorder clinics because it encourages skinny girls, or girls who know what’s important, like not eating that pint of Ice Cream, to look at their lifestyle choices as unhealthy or bad. They try to convince them that they have a negative body image, when all they are trying to do is look good at all costs and they train them to get back into eating, so that they put on weight, because they are just jealous of their discipline.

The one thing that isn’t my enemy is air conditioning and/or a brisk breeze, because it makes nipples hard and is natures way of telling me that it gets more pussy than me. I don’t even remember the last time I got a girl’s nipples hard, I figure it’s cuz I do my best at avoiding anything involving my wife’s disgusting tits, but maybe it’s just cuz I’ve got no game.

Either way, here’s a skinny Cheryl Tweedy Cole doing her best Posh Spice impersonation and lookin’ pretty good while doing it.

Girls Aloud are a useless Spice Girls tribute act from the UK, in the event you didn’t already know, but I have a feeling your bedroom wall is plastered with posters you got out of your Teen Dream magazine subscription because you’re creepy like that. The only one really worth a round is Cheryl Tweedy Cole and she is out at some party having a useless nipple slip and her nipples are all taped up, the same kind of fashion tip the whole group should be using on their mouths every time they get on stage because lets face it, they just aren’t that good.

If they really wanted to sell more tickets and hit up a broader audience, they should consider changing their stage show to one with more masturbation and fucking on stage. Pop stars are hypocrites, they act all conservative and wholesome when doing their jobs performing on stage, but the second you let them out on their own, they’re flashing cunt, doing drugs and most importantly shooting sex tapes….I feel like all the candy-coated lies should stop and they should give the public more of what we expect out of them, because we all know they’re just a bunch of sluts who must have sucked some serious dick to get where they are today and I think we deserve to get in on it in exchange for buying their music….

BONUS: Sarah Harding and Nicola Roberts of Girls Aloud Dyking Out Because They Are a Team….a Drunk LesbianTeam….hopefully practicing for a brighter future….

So it turns out that the Girls Aloud sluts from the UK have a new album out, not that I’ve ever heard their other album, but I think it’s safe to say that it wasn’t award winning and either will this. They are just a group of party sluts with a Spice Girl dream and it worked out for them because here they are celebrating their accomplishments in their bikinis, instead of working at the topless diner like they should be….at least Cheryl Tweedy Cole should be while the ugly one stays in the back and does the dishes….no one wants to look at that shit.

Here’s a little Trailer Park Cheap Knock Off Version of Posh Spice action, her name is Cheryl Tweedy Cole and she is from the UK and she was in an all girl pop band and she married a footballer who used to shower with Beckham, where they would all bend it like Beckham, because he was the most flexible of the bunch….an inspiration to them all.

These pictures are of Cheryl Tweedy Cole rockin’ an animal print bra because animal print bras mean she’s a crazy slutty pornstar type, no fabric print since the Hawaiian shirt has represented such adventure and fun.

I saw a bra today, on a woman, who was breastfeeding in public. Either I live in the land of breeders or this breastfeeding business is getting fucking popular, because everytime I leave my house, which isn’t much, I see a bitch with a baby on her tit. Today, the woman was sitting in the window of a sandwich shop and was blockin out the rest of the restaurants audience, without realizing that everyone on the fuckin’ street had full view. I was tempted to go up to the window and start jerking off saying shit like “suck harder baby”, but I was thrown off when I realized the kid who was breast feeding could walk….I guess momma liked the way shit felt, or maybe liked the fullness of her tits, but doesn’t realize that this kid is going to have some serious fucking momma boy issues in about 5 years that will carry him through the rest of his life…I still liked the show and wished I was that little 4 year old suckin on that tit for a minute, but not as badly as how Cheryl Tweedy Cole wants to be Posh Spice and I love suckin’ tits. If you know what I mean, which you probably don’t because you haven’t read this post. Thanks for the support. Asshole.