I am still a fan of Rihanna, not because I put on her music and I can’t help but ask myself to politely not stop it, because it speaks to me. It’s not because I think she’s talented, or because I think she offers the world pretty much anything, it’s not because I find her the hottest girl in the world, but I am a fan because she knows how to get beat the fuck up by her man like a good girl.
Here she is showing off some cleavage…I just fell asleep typing. That is the weirdest feeling to date. Thanks drinking..
I assume the only Americans who are reading this are lonely and friendless virgins with little to do, because it’s the fourth of July weekend and even the cunts on The View took the week off to spend at the cottage with the fuckin’ family, or wherever the fuck you people go on your time off, but I expect it to be a place where computers aren’t the priority, because computers are the fuckin’ devil and you spend enough time on the shit during the week, so while you American are out eating corndogs, watching baseball, beating up gays and blacks and being proud of being fat trailer trash, I’m gonna post this hot little UK popstar for my Europeans who can appreciate a hot set of tits on a vagina that’s locked onto one of their pro athletes….Her name is Cheryl Cole and she’s pretty luxurious..
I am not successful and I don’t know anything about business or marketing, but when you are selling a low level product, let’s say a spray tan in a can like you were Lindsay Lohan, you’re probably better off getting your professional birthday spray tan in the privacy of your own “Samantha Ronson” home, so that the world doesn’t see you leaving a spray tan salon, pretty much telling us that your product isn’t good enough for you and that even you don’t bother with it and just attached your name to it for a quick fuckin’ buck, cuz that kind of hypocrisy and money grubbin sell out scamming behavior pisses me off and if you didn’t have such nice breasts, I’d probably write you a heavy worded email regarding this important personal business matter.
Here are the pics and I think it’s still her birthday, so Happy Birthday, asshole
Jayde Nicole is from Canada, she’s also a fake titty whore who was Playmate of the year at one point in her career, making her really live up to the cheesy Ed Hardy wearing 9 to 5 millionaire her poor ass wanted to be, back when she lived with her single mother who worked at a diner, suckin’ dick on the side to get by, only to turn around and teach her daughter what is really important in life by encouraging her to be a high class escort because the perks that come with that mean a good life, and really these poor wallet fuckers are proud of where they are right now.
I’ve seen her in person once or twice and she looks like a little worthless slag and I am sure if she was in a bar next to you, you’d only look twice because of the cleavage, she’s one of those thinks she’s better lookin than she is kinda girl, which always gets in the way of me getting them masturbating on video because they think they are too good for me, but they aren’t too good for Playboy, that shit’s like the Holy Grail to them. Word.
Beyonce’s a cunt. There’s nothing really more I can say about her. It’s just that when I see the faces she’s making when she performs, with such intensity that reminds me of the drama kids I used to beat the fuck out of who thought what they were doin’ actually mattered, like it actually had purpose and was art and not some pile of shit waste of fuckin’ time that even their parents laughed at, I mean until they were able to leverage shit and take it to a bigger scale where they made millions doing it, givin’ them the last laugh, unfortunately without their pants on, because seriously no one wants to see this bitch with her pants off, no homo….except maybe her husband, but even he fucks other pussy to forget what he’s locked himself into, while she forces us to only blame ourselves and each other for buyin her records and creating this monster….
This Transformers shit is goin’ nuts. I was talking to a friend of mine who waited in line at the premiere, who I comtemplated not being friends with after hearing that, who redeemed himself by having video of him asking every geeky guy in line if they would fuck the girl in Harry Potter on her period, or some shit, that made being in line with a bunch of loser almost worth it, like Megan Fox almost makes going to the movie worth it, but when she wears dresses like this, with a built in window into her soul, or at least the closest thing she has to a soul and the only thing unfortunate in all this is that the dress doesn’t have a window into her cunt.
Here’s Megan Fox dressed like Grimace to represent McDonald’s, or as I like to call it Michael Jackson’s favorite public bathroom to jerk off in, because he couldn’t contain himself with all the little kids and their happy meals….
The only person I have ever knows who was into Gilmore Girls was this 28 year old virgin. So these pictures of this chick must be driving him fuckin' bananas. Now, I know you don't believe me when I say he was an actual fuckin' virgin, you think I'm just playing that shit off lightly because dude watched shows designed for teenage girls, but the truth is that this motherfucker lived in a one bedroom apartment, got awkward when women were around him, had 8 computers next to his bed, and was balding from the radiation. He also had a big screen TV and collected teenage girl TV show boxset DVDs, he'd get 2 of each, one to use and one to keep on the shelf next to his action figures he treated the same fuckin' way, because that's what virgin collectors do, I mean when you're not fuckin' girls or chasing skirts, what else is there to really do, I mean other than yelling at me and kicking me out of his house for playing with his light sabre and the whole thing really only got weird when I realized I was his only friend and he'd call me constantly cuz I guess he was trying to collect me.
Either way, here's the bitch from that show who I never thought was hot showing some tit and who really fuckin' cares...I know I don't.
Here’s Megan Fox lookin’ good just doin’ nothing. What you don’t know about this picture is that before leaving the hotel, she spent a solid 4 hours in hair and make-up, hoping to look like she just crawled out of bed like she is the kind of girl who just looks good all the fucking time. One of those bitches who is just as goodlookin’ when she throws on a pair of beat up jeans and a t-shirt on a Sunday morning to run to the store to get stuff to make you breakfast in bed, while you sleep off your hangover, or when she’s all dolled up to party like a rockstar the night before, or when she’s spending a day with you laying on the beach. Always hot. They are hard to find.
On a side note, I like how she threw in a book to make us all think she’s not just someone who barely passed highschool, an idiot who should really be working a ten dollar an hour job. It’s a nice touch. Speaking of nice touches, I’d like to touch this bitch all the fuck over, it’d be pretty nice. Here are the pics.
Armenian is such a beautiful language, you know, when you meet an Armenian girl and they start talking to you in their soft ethnic accent, and you think to yourself that this really nice complexion girl with her big brown eyes and amazing body had to have been sent to you from heaven, even when she says she needs to take a piss, shit warms your fuckin’ hear, then she picks up her phone only to talk to her other Armenian friend in Armenian and a series of hacks, spits and angry sounds come out of her, shit that sounds vile and like child molestation would sound if it was a language, and when you ask what happened and what’s wrong, thinking she just heard that her father killed her mother or some shit, she says she was just telling her mom she’ll be home in an hour.
That’s not to say Kim Kardashian knows the language or that she really has any substance, other than the shit spilling over her belt, because she is fat, but he does have a deep loving relationship with Armenian food, and really all food for that matter and that’s all that really matters….and like all fat chicks I see bending over, I can’t help but stare at their tits, I’m a man dammit and that’s just what we do.
So here’s the Armenian poster girl, you know the one little American Armenian girls look up to, since not that many other celebs are Armenian, and she is showing off her fatty tits…
Some really fat chick who was wearing a push-up bra to counterbalance her gut, I know this shit because I watch the Oprah bikinis for everyboday episode as often as I can, just said hi to me when I was taking my dog outside to take a little pee, cuz I am tired of him pissing on my pillow while I am sleeping, I figure breathing that shit in isn’t good for me, and I got really spooked, not so much because of the way this monster, her cleavage looked, or even from the obvious fear and suffering both the shorts she squeezed into and the kid she was holding hands with had on their faces, but because people are so self absorbed these days and so paranoid, they just don’t say hi to strangers, unless they are yachting or on the Golf course so that you can be certain you are dealing with someone in your class bracket, but randomly on the street just doesn’t happen, unless of course you’re dealing with a fat chick lookin’ for a husband to take care of her and her baggage and I’m already playin’ that game and it sucks.
Sure, that has nothing to do with Ailicia Douvall, but bitch is like a stranger to me, cuz I’ve never heard of her, but now that I’ve seen her stupid tits, I’d like to say hi and for some reason I regret no hitting up a stripclub last night.
The good thing about your wife gaining a little bit of weight is the bigger, fuller, nicer tits. The bad thing about your wife gaining weight is that there is usuall yno signs of it stopping and soon, the ass, the legs, the stomach, the face, the neck, the arms, the calves, the feet start to follow, and next thing you know, family vacation is spent at an all you can eat buffet down the fuckin’ street four days in a fucking row because bitch sees the shit as a challenge and not as a fuckin’ selection of low quality food average people don’t eat because it makes them fuckin’ sick.
So Jessica Simpson’s tits look crazy, but when the rest of her follows, these big titties will look like A-Cups in coparison to her gut. So take it in when you can.
Like all recently single whores, here’s Kate Walsh showing off some tit for some male attention.See, I don’t know who this bitch is, but I can tell her pussy is dripping, sure it could have to do with the fact that she’s ovulating, and hungry for sperm, but I like my recently divorced angle, cuz it just makes sense to me. Every girl I know who gets out of a relationship, turns into the town whore fucking as many cocks as possibl for a solid few months, before getting locked down again, because one of those cocks has enough money to stick with, it’s just a vagina thing and it all starts with the lowcut shirts…and ends with the herpes scabs..
Leona Lewis is that girl who sings about sex on her period .
And like a virgin at the mall with buying Magic Cards with my buddies only to be destracted when a big titty girl and her friends walk by in their low cut shirts, I’ve just turned my site into a place that gets excited when a chubby singer shows off some cleavage, and that depresses me.
Nothing makes me feel more pathetic than when I do these desperate posts about cleavage because I have nothing else to talk about, because cleavage is about as PG as shit gets and if you have a capacity to get off to the shit, like I have the capacity to write about the shit, like it really is a fuckin’ big deal, you are as worthless as mine and we should kill ourselves in some kind of ritual that makes people think we were a cult, when really we were just sexually frustrated with lives that suck.
Girls rock cleavage every fucking day, as they fucking should, so noticing it isn’t really a big deal, we’re dudes, we’re supposed to, but making a big deal about the shit, like taking a picture or making a post, or even high fiving your loser friends with boners in your pants is just not cool.
The problem with Plastic Surgery is that it doesn’t age well. It’s like the people who get the shit to try to make themselves look better, get kicked in the fuckin ass a few years down the road, when their faces start contorting in weird ways, forcing them to get more plastic surgery, eventually ending up lookin’ like a blow-up doll you found in the garbage and decided to patch up and bring home with you because your whore wife doesn’t fuck you.
The problem with having a crush on a celebrity in the 90s, is that 15 years down the road when you happen to be lucky enough to finally meet her, you decide to ask her on a date to live out that late Baywatch fantasy, forgetting that in those 15 years, many cock have run through her pink garage door in her red bathing suit, and now she’s a leathery freaky lookin’ piece of shit.
Annalynne McCord is useless. Instead of dressing like a predator, I’d rather dress her up like the prey, you know put her in a mouse costume, or in whatever the fuck animal predator’s eat, and throw her in the fuckin’ jungle and see whether she comes out alive. Maybe even make a reality TV show out of it because that’s really the caliber of talent she provides. Here are her tits.
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