I am sure I am not the only person who has masturbated to Madonna in their lifetime. Whether it was the movie Truth or Dare or her Sex book, she was always a driving force in being a naughty little girl. Unfortunately, like all naught little girls, they grow up and now she’s 50, on tour and trying to hold onto the fact that we all jerked off to her at one point in our lives, without realizing that her vagina has expired. She is pretty fit for an old lady but still an old lady and I, along with the front row at her concert are happy her underwear bottoms and fishnet outfit she’s wearing are tight enough to keep her shit in place, because I’d hate to see her uterus fall on the stage, actually I’d probably love it, but it would still be disgusting to see. This is her at her concert in Nice France and shit’s definitely not as Nice as it could be. You liked that shitty play on words, admit it.
Rihanna seems to know how to put on a performance that reminds me of the time I accidentally walked into a fetish night party at a bar I used to frequent. I wasn’t too thrown off by all the nasty lookin’ people in their latex assless pants being dragged around on leashes, until I realized that it was a gay party and that the only girl in the place who had amazingly huge tits, and who I just let suck me off was actually I tranny packin heat. I didn’t mind too much, she was wearing lipstick and that’s all I really look for in a woman and she gave a really good blow job too, I guess she was just overcompensating for not having a vagina….
Here’s a video of Beyonce performing. Her dress somehow flies up and you can see her tit for a split fucking second and the only reason I know this is because someone emailed it to me. I watched the video 5 times and didn’t see the tit but then again my brain works a little slower than a computer programming loser who spent the last 4 hours playing it over and over to get the perfect frame so that he can bust nut to it. I assume that computer programmer was you and that this is old news so that I can move on in about a minute to try to find things to post with a little more substance than this, or at least shit that you can actually make out the nipple in, because if you’re going to post tit slips, you might as well post tit slips people can actually see, not some kind of video that you need to speak binary code to decipher…
These are some shitty cellphone pics of Britney Spears lip syncing in Vegas as part of her attempt at a comeback, the show may have been a rip off and she may be insane now, but she’s still Britney Spears and at least she’s showing off her ass to distract us all from how lame this attempt to climb out of the gutter and back to the top of her game is.
I am costantly attacked by feminists, telling me how what I do is comparable to racism and that I am leading a horrible example to the 20 people who read the site, and I guess saying that at least Britney is showing us her ass fall into that category of objectifying women.
Reality is, I am not the motherfucker on stage showing the world my fucking ass, and if I was, I’d expect someone to comment on how fat it is. I have spent a lifetime trying to seduce girls and not being rich enough, or goodlooking enough, forcing me to end up with someone no one wanted, not even me, but the comfort of having someone there to care was enough for me to do it. You don’t see me sitting here hating on all the hot chicks for not wanting me, or thinking I was scum, in all reality, I am here begging for them to send me nudes.
So, what it all comes down to, is that I just want to have a good time, maybe have a few laughs, and talk a whole lot of shit about nothing important. If you are one to take my words for gospel and either take it home with you to throw at your own fat wife that you settled with, or who got fat after she hooked you in and was too tired to keep herself pretty, or if you are sitting there getting offended by what I have to say, all you have to do is click on the back button in your browser and leave your rants to your fucking self, because people that are that uptight, are people I don’t want to invite to my birthday party or to my comeback show at a shitty small venue….and if you motherfuckers decide to show up with camera phone pics, and decide to write slandering remarks about me, I am not going to cry about it and write a thesis for my gender studies class on how hard people are on me for having a cock.
I decided that I respect the socially awkward losers who make up the internet, because without them the internet wouldn’t exist. I know people who are actually good looking and successful are too busy being good looking and successful to actually read websites so it’s people like you that may be the stain on society but so important to the future of media, because as it turns out there are more socially awkward virgins than good looking people, and that is why we have the internet.
I was on some celebrity forum looking for pics of Britney’s concert in Anaheim last night and came across so many arguments as to whether a nipple slip was real or a fake. I don’t know if the people sitting at home on their computers, creating the nipple slip are creepier than the dude at home who is analyzing the nipple slip and contesting it’s legitimacy. Either way, you’re creepiness is okay by me, as long as you’re not luring teens from myspace to meet you in the park for sex, then it’s not very harmful, maybe just to your changes of becoming successful and less socially awkward.
Anyway, Britney performed at a House of Blues again and one of my loyal internet girlfriends went to the event. She got her tickets off craigslist for hundreds of dollars and when she got to the venue the security made her check her phone and camera so the only person leaking at the event was Britney’s rancid vagina.
My loyal internet girlfriend told me that the experience was amazing, Britney lip synced the whole thing, performed for 15 minutes and gave Lohan a dirty look when she was singing “I See You Looking at Me” and pointed right at Lohan. Sounds kinds psycho to me but that’s all the inside scoop I can handle today….
These are pics of Lohan on her way into the event, looking as good as she gets….
I make fun of this bitch all the time, mainly because I don’t find her hot. She’s old and washed up and I can only assume that is why Justin Timberlake had to get up and move on and leave her in his shadows. At least the rejection made her overcompensate by telling the world that the new guys she’s fucking are way better than Justin was, which is standard when a girl’s heart gets broken or by going to the gym trying to make her worth fucking because her head is filled with all the insecurities being dumped by a young person at the hight of their career leaves you with….I guess it’s working out because her legs lookin’ fucking amazing at Coachella and if something looks good, I am not going to pretend they aren’t for the sake of entertainment. Ideally, I’d rather see them on a younger, fresher chick, but I’m the type of guy with a short attention span and when I find something that I can focus on, I can ignore all the other flaws, whether it be a set of hot tits on a fat chick, or a hot ass on a girl with a face that looks like it was beat with a shovel and that is why these pictures made it to my site. I guess they also made it because I have no standards, but I like to think I only post the good shit….even when they are of some cunt trying to be funny with a stupid walk while knowing people are taking pics of her, but again, I just look at her legs and all the rage goes away….
My stepdaughter and her celebrity obsessed friends who think they are socialites went to the Hilary Duff concert here in Montreal. I don’t really understand why, because Hilary is a piece of shit performer, but worth a round cuz she’s young and has money, but I don’t think they were thinkin’ that when they went. They were too busy trying to touch her sweater, and by sweater I mean article of clothing, not her cooter.
The last time I flew, I was stuck on a plane that played her movie about bloggin’, it really hit close to home, not cuz I have a blog but because I had to move around a lot as a child.
Here are the 2 useless pics they brought back to me. I clearly asked for an autograph made out to “jesus martinez, my drunkenstepfather, love Hilary”, that reminds me, if any of you fuckers know famous ppl get autographs for me. I am going to start a celeb autograph section on the site, but considering I never leave the house, you are going to have to help me.
