I was just taking a shit, and by shit I mean I was just uploading these Kylie and Danni Minogue pictures, that were just as painful as taking a shit, yes it hurts when I shit, but that’s just because my liver is shot and apparently it’s got some pretty integral role in shitting almost as integral as Kylie’s tits had in making her famous. Too bad they’ve left the building like Elvis, but not because of a drug overdose….it was cancer. No cancer isn’t funny, even when it happens to an asshole boss who deserves it, but breast implants are, they are like toys for adults.

I love seeing these plastic surgery bitches on the street, I am not talking post cancer implants like Kylie, I am talking rich breast implanted mom’s who’s husbands made them do it because it was always their fantasy and now that they have money and a woman dependent on their lifestyle, their reality, because when a bitch goes under the knife for you, you know you pretty much own her.

I always like asking girls I know with implants if they will have my baby, not because I want them to actually have my baby, because I don’t think my sperm can handle impregnating much more than my testicles and they are having a hard enough time just doing that, but when they respond by saying no, because no one wants my baby, I like to follow up with asking if they think the baby will look more like they look now or more like how they looked before the plastic surgery, because seeing a baby with big implants would be awkward, especially when it stats breast feeding itself.