So my friend from the park went out and got this funny video of girls dancing in the mall, I don’t find it all that hot, because I like my women a lot more haggard, but Harley is a pervert and this is what he had to say:
These are some high school girls dancing at a local mall. You care because you hate women and yourself, and the idea of pretty teenage girls being unknowingly caught on film and posted on the internet kind of gets you off. That’s why you have a boner right now, even though they’re wearing clothes,
I care because when I was their age, girls never paid any attention to me — especially the pretty ones. In fact, the only girl who did was the school skank that I lost my virginity to, and she paid attention to anyone that her daddy would hate. The whole time we dated, she was still banging her 18-year-old ex who drove a Mustang. I put up with it because I have no car, a small penis, low self-esteem. Coincidentally, those are the same reasons why she dumped me.
Anyway, a couple years later, I heard that someone walked in on her, her dog, and a jar of peanut butter. Even though that’s a played out urban legend, I believe it because the memory of her makes me feel worse about myself than I normally do.
I realized that I can’t really keep up with all the other celebrity sites. I’ve been in the game longer but haven’t been able to break through because there are losers out there who are faster and better at this shit than me. I remember when I was the only site that I knew of exploiting the Phun.org celebrity forum for nip slips and bikini pics and shit, and now every motherfucker and his retarded sister is doing it faster than me. I guess this site is destined for failure but I can’t seem to give this bitch up. I am not really complaining, I am just saying….whenever I get like this I just slip into a daydream about some jackass trying to promote his garage sale on the corner of a busy intersection with a cardboard sign on his head, because the fact that he has no shame is inspiring to me….
It is hot outside and I am uninspired. It’s pretty much the story of my life. Part of me wants to update the site 50 times a day like a psycho blogger, but I don’t have that kind of creativity. I don’t have that many stories and I don’t have that much interesting to say. I think that’s probably why I will never be a famous blogger. I am okay with that because looking outside my window is all I really need. The girls are out in little clothes makes life good. I just ignore my wife and her obesity, my impotency and poverty and enjoy…
Speaking of fat chicks, I never understood is that it always seems like awkwardly skinny dudes always end up with fat fuckin’ girls. I am talkin’ really fuckin fat girls who normal guys don’t think have pussies and I just don’t get it, but it fascinates me. I assume that it is because fat on fat doesn’t work because genitals get hard to reach and skinny on skinny is too much bone on bone pain…but on hot days when i have nothing much to say, I slip into a day dream of watching a huge chick make out with her skinny boyfriend even if the footage is really shitty and doesn’t really show how fat the chick is and how skinny the dude is and how magical their public make out must be….
I checked out my traffic today and it seems like 5 of the 20 people I normally get have stopped coming to the site out of no where. I was trying to figure out why, because I was hoping to make this fucker grow and not shrink and losing 20% of my traffic overnight is pretty fucking major, and all I can come up with is that it’s because summer is here…
I guess it could be because 20% of you realized that the site’s a waste of time, or maybe because my content is pretty weak, or maybe because about 1000 new blogs have popped up and get the content faster than my lazy old timer blogging ass can, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re gone. I also thought maybe the site was banned in offices and schools by another service or someone who used to link me stopped, but I just don’t know why…
In this state of unrest and confusion, I am forced to slip into a day dream of a topless bike ride, because I love it when people are topless, preferably women, but I am not that picky and take what I can get. Enjoy….it only took me 6 hours to edit and upload cuz my computer sucks…
I think I hate Spiderman. I was never into comics, cuz I liked vagina. I was never into comic book movies because I liked vagina. I have been forced to watch shit like Superman, Batman and even Spiderman at times I was trying to get vagina, but I never made the choice to see one of these movies on my own, it was always to please someone else who had a vagina. I have been seeing the major promo kick for this movie all over the place with premieres in China and other places around the world, I know that the studio is trying to make this a huge blockbuster smash, and it probably will be one, because there are a lot of virgins who like comics out there and thanks to them, their 10 dollars will line the pockets of asshole movie producers that will never give me a stepfather movie but will instead make shit like Spiderman 4. I will just never end and I blame you….
Whenever I get stressed out thinking about these people making more of these movies, I like to slip into a day dream of what life would be like, if Spiderman worked the streets of my city, dancing and panhandling by day and ridding the world of crime at night by drinking himself into the gutter he’ll crawl out of the next day to go back to the streets and dance some more, using his Spidey Suit to keep him warm on those cold winter nights at the homeless shelter. Here’s the video.
So I once had a cellular phone and I felt pretty prestigious because I never really had those kinds of luxuries in life but last year a neighbor gave me a Razr that he probably stole that happened to be activated and I never got a bill or had to pay a bill or any of that shit, it was just going to him. I think he had family that worked for the company or some shit, but that’s not the point. The point is that the screen blew up today and now I can’t call my favorite celebrities or text message them or any of that shit I was able to do yesterday because the motherfucker won’t turn on.
So when I get stressed out and don’t know what to do to solve the shitty problems I get myself into, I like to drift into a day dream. Today I was day dreaming about some war vet in some weird Vietnam yellow helmet action to keep his hair dry while he picked through garbage trying to make a decent living….Here is that day dream….If you have cell phones send them to me.
This week was pretty fucked, I didn’t think the shootings really affected me but I had a lot of trouble getting out of bed, so maybe it did. I guess I always go back and forth whether I am crazy or not, because i sit at home and write this site everyday, while the weather is nice and there are lots of things to do that I am not doing, knowing it can all suddenly end and my legacy becomes the smut I peddled here instead of something more substantial, like curing cancer or being that guy who gave Lohan herpes.
Either way, one psycho isn’t going to change me even if it lead to lots of soul searching. I had no money for booze so it can get pretty depressing and when that hits I like to slip into a daydream about a hot pink box. Lucky for you, it was caught on video Cuddles.
So my donate here button didn’t really work. I got all of one donation and I still owe 1,500 dollars, it was worth trying because in my fantasies Lohan reads this site, and 1,500 dollars to her isn’t even what goes up her nose every night, so I figured she’d be willing to share since I’ve been so good to her but maybe my dreams of Lohan aren’t real. It turns out that no one reads this site and I still have to come up with the money and I am one day closer to the due date and dates generally stress me the fuck out so I am forced to sit back and weigh my options, the most appealing one is to join a cult, where none of my problems matter and all I have to do is give my wife away to the cult leader in exchange for paradise….something I am willing to do…Either way, here’s my day dream.
I couldn’t access the internet last night, and I tried. I think my neighbor put some kind of block on my computer or some shit so I didn’t get to do my stepLINKS, something I look forward to doing everyday. I guess I could have made my way to a coffee shop with free internet or some shit, but I wasn’t about to put on pants and walk 3 blocks today, that would be asking too much of me.
But when I get down and out and feel the pressure of stepLINKS, I like to kick back and fall into a day dream of taking a nice walk, because sometimes the the thought of doing it is just as good as doing it. At least that’s what my friend says every time he tries to pick up girls and they laugh in his face while rejecting him. He thinks the fact that he talked to them was just as good as fucking them, but without all the work….not that you’d know anything about that, now do you, loser.
I am tired of my wife because she is causing me massive grief about random shit I do like run this website, so last night I decided to pack my bag with all my belongings, which is surprisingly not very many things, I don’t even think I have a week’s worth of clothes or a toothbrush, but I packed it never the less, and for some reason, I stopped at the door and realized I have no money to go anywhere. I thought about moving to LA to be closer to the stars or NYC to be closer to New Jersey or even to end up back in Mexico by the beach or someshit, but I can’t even afford to go to the fucking bathroom, toilet paper is too expensive.
It all is very draining and makes me daydream that I was taking a nap on the street corner while cops check my pulse.
I have a cold and when I am sick I sometimes feel delusional. Yesterday, I had the hardest time thinking straight, I couldn’t even focus my eyes on anything, everything was just a congested feverish blur. I still feel like fucking shit today and I can’t think of all the great things I wanted to write about because this virus kicked me on my fucking ass. At least I can always daydream….I have recently been daydreaming about starting a drunkenstepfather bowling league or horrible bowlers, so if you are interested we can set one up in your home town too. In planning this huge stepPROJECT, I have been going to the bowling alley to scope out talent. The thing I love about the bowling alley is that it is the best place to find a wife. These bitches may not be the prettiest thing out there, but at least they know how to have a good time. So when I get down and lonely, I like to daydream about the woman who was too busy eating pizza to serve me, but stole my heart none the less to get me through the day….
I was working on this ad deal, which is something that I am not really used to doing but figured I should learn because everyone else is cashing in on these kinds of sites and I am tired of being poor. So I took one bloggers advice contacted some company they sent me a contract to fill out and I did it. I went do the local Staples and had the retarded work program lookin’ chick help me out with the fax machine because I have never sent a fax before and paid 6 dollars I don’t have to send it. I get back in after all the fucking headaches only to be told that they can’t advertise on the site because there is nudity. I wrote back that all the other sites have nudity too, but I guess it doesn’t matter what the other sites have because they turned down working with me…
I am not going to sell out because I am punk rock like that. I am not Blink 182 and I will never bang playboy playmates but in this time of stress I have no choice but to daydream about a fat chick doing burlesque, but since burlesque sucks, it’s gotta be sped up….and that’s what makes it my daydream….
