Here are some pictures of Denise Richards in a pair of tight pants riding a bike, because despite being annoying as fuck she’s still hot enough for her Nephew to jerk off to her , so that’s gotta say something about her, even though when I was 14, I was jerking off to my foster mother’s dirty underwear that I’d steal from the laundry basket, National Geographic and my neighbor suntanning in her backyard. It was a time before porn was accessible and it was really the only way to get rid of the chronic erections I had. I guess none of this matters, but you should tryto sort out Denise Richard’s vagina definition from these pics, is like some kind of puzzle and I heard puzzles are good for expanding your brain, something you need.

Since my computer has AIDS, I figured I’d post this video of Denise Richards potentially setting her nephew up for a future that has a high risk of AIDS. Not only does she talk to him about her Playboy spread but also brings up her threesome in Wild Things with Neve Campbell and Kevin Bacon and the little dude pretty much admitted to seeing “clips” of it probably when googling his Aunts name.

All Denise did when she had “that talk” with the dude was admit that she is someone who gets naked for money, but she didn’t really get into how it’s wrong to get turned on by your aunt and that it’s wrong to masturbate to images of your aunt dyking out, because family may come first, but family isn’t supposed to make you come at all. That’s the kind of shit that leads you to drugs or suicide.

Either way, from now on, no girl he meets will or gets with will be as hot or as good as his aunt and when he realizes that getting off to your aunt is fucked up, when other kids are going to their aunt’s house for dinner, while this punk is going to his aunt’s house to hide in the closet and jerk off while she’s changing until he gets caught and the guilt of being some freak who can only get turned on by his own family member is going to throw this motherfucker into homosexuality, at least that’s my prediction. It’s one of those all women make me think about how fucked in the head I am and all tits make me think of my aunt so I’ll just stay the fuck away from tits….situation.

This clip is 4 days old, I’m the first to admit I am slow movin.

If you’re wondering why I am not posting - it’s for 2 reasons. The first is that I came to Toronto (a city in Canada) to try to crash the MMVA’s. They are some shitty half rate, Canadian award show that badly copies the VMAs, but I couldn’t get into the event, because they take themselves too seriously and they don’t take me seriously at all. The good news is that I did get drunk. and now I am hungover.

The other reason is that the dude who said I could stay with him, put me into some dusty fucking closet of a room with no windows and I have asthma and can’t breathe when I am in dust, and could have died, but lived and it turns out the internet he promised me sucks bigger dicks than the Perez Hilton party I sneaked into hoping to jump the motherfuckin’ smurf and his pink hair and not in a way he would like to be jumped because based on his look, I can only assume he longs to be touched by another living, breathing human, even if it is in bouts of rage.

Either way, What the fuck is this Denise Richards show Bullshit, I can’t believe that this garbage is on fuckin’ TV. When sluts like Denise Richards make claims that taking time out for herself and her friends to play around with sex toys and stripper poles really got her out of her rut, it makes me wonder where all her time is going since she looks like she’s a self absorbed cunt and considering she hasn’t had work in years, I feel like she has ample time for herself, I mean except of course for her little kids that have been a huge mistake because they aren’t just like dogs who you can put to sleep when you are done with them and you have to take time to make sure they are fed, washed, clothed and on time for ballet classes. Something that takes away from Denise Richards’ me time, which up until the kids was 100 percent of the time and is now about 99 percent of the time, since there are nannies on staff to handle them. Greedy, self righteous bullshit is offensive to me and shouldn’t be on TV.

I guess in all fairness, this whore needs to practice because based on the way she’s putting herself out there to look like a piece of fucking garbage, it’ll be a skill that comes in handy when shaking her old haggard ass on stage.

Here is Denise Richards Talking about her really busy schedule that sounds scripted to shit and the whole stripper pole party stemmed from her not finding the time to wax her fuckin’ bush and her cunt friend stepping in telling her to make time for herself. This show is embarrassing to watch.

I was watching this video of Denise Richards having a spray tan, as I tend to do on monday mornings, and I was happy to see that bitch knows her self-worth.

Not only does her spray tanner have the most ridiculous job in the fuckin’ world, where she pretty much gets paid to go around to useless celebrity houses to airbrush their naked bodies, but this one’s got the added bonus of being Denise Richard’s hired self-esteem booster. As she hoses her down and makes her brown, , she has to throw out all the fuckin’ compliments about how good her body is and ask whether she’s been working out to make Denise Richards feel better about her fleeting looks and body due to being a lazy cunt, like the whipped husband who is trained to tell his wife how pretty she still looks, even though deep down inside he knows he jerks off to the neighbor’s 18 year old, because Denise Richards doesn’t have a husband.

The highlight of the video is when she grabs her tits and says something along the lines of “these babies made me a couple million dollars” letting us all know that even she knows that she’s a talentless whore and only got where she got by sucking the right dick and showing the right amount of Tit. Watch it.

Denise never had much to offer the world other than her sex scene with Neve Campbell in Wild Things. As much as I hated that movie, there’s just something about seeing two sluts get it on for Kevin Bacon that would make me think shit was overlooked for an Academy Award. It’s that kind of cinematic history that is only remembered by perverts and dudes who rent movies based on the level of nudity they have in them and it’s too bad that shit was the peak of her career because way back then, she was actually hot. Here she is trying to hold onto that sex appeal by running around in a Bikini in some staged photoshoot to draw publicity to her new show. If I was on the beach, which I am not and haven’t been on in years because I don’t live the celebrity life of luxury, I wouldn’t mind lookin’ at her in hopes of a vagina lip hangin’ out but the second a younger, tighter body walks by this hag, I’ll be getting my creep on elsewhere. It’s one of those better than nothing situations like the time you jerked off to your sister on a family camping trip because it was between her and your mom and jerking off to your mom just felt too wrong…

I am pretty depressed today because I found out that my piece of shit computer that I got for 40 dollars and that broke on me this past weekend died because of its hard drive. Now that may not mean much to any of you who only use your but it’s a big deal to me because I was writing my memoirs and had at least 20 pages that I won’t be able to recreate because I was drunk when I wrote them and never re-read them and was saving them as some kind of surprise a surprise I will not be able to ever experience. The good news is that everyone I tell this to asks me if I did a back-up, ask why I didn’t do a back-up and tell me that I should have done a back-up because that’s what they are for. Thanks for the advice, asshole.

At least I can get pleasure from looking at these useless pictures of a useless Denise Richards doing a useless paddle surf because it’s real surfing’s gay younger brother all while in a useless bikini top because her body is sloppy, therefore useless and has no need for a bikini top, and it’s all for a useless reality show that shell make a lot more money on than I ever but at least I am not the only one that’s useless in the world.