Here is Ashlee performing live on the Today show, or some other live show, which was a pretty big mistake on her and her management’s part because bitch is sucking harder than she’s ever sucked before, which isn’t saying much since she’s pretty much a lesbian and her fiance has a big fat pussy. He probably writes all her songs for her while he’s on his fuckin’ period, hormonal and crying, he probably also chose her outfit, did her make-up and told her she’d be awesome, despite knowing bitch has no talent.

I guess the good news is that anyone can become famous, that it doesn’t take talent to get ahead and for all the little girls reading this site, dreams do come true, except for that little crippled boy who wants to play professional socceer but only because he only has one leg.

Truth is that no matter how bad she sings, I kinda want to fuck the intensity and bad singing out of her which could take a long time and that annoying boyfriend would keep jumping on my back and scratching at me to get off his girl like a bratty spoiled motherfucker who doesn’t want you paying his videogames…..

I am hung over, Here are some pictures of her at some event:

Here are some pictures of her and her girlfriend:

These are some pictures of Tara Reid from this past weekend, I think it’s safe to say that she’s drunk and lookin’ her age as her face slowly falls off her face as fast as the cocaine got sucked up her nose off the club’s toilet seat for the last 10 years.

I know when I am drunk I don’t really look my best, actually in my mind I do but when the pictures surface and I’ve sobered up a bit, I realize that I actually look like a greasy rapist on some kind of rapist mission to creep out every single girl I cross paths with.

Either way, she reminds me of some kind of office Christmas party gone wrong , which is fine when it is your office Christmas party and it only goes down once a year and she’s the receptionist you’ve wanted to shove your dick inside the last 9 months she’s been working there, but it isn’t a very good look to be hustling every fuckin’ weekend when you’re old enough to be a soccer mom. At one time she was the all american poster girl for College Spring Break parties and now she’s working on being the poster girl for why you gotta stop partying so hard after college because it will rape you harder than the frat boy did that night he took you on a date and slipped roofies in your drink…you can’t hate him though…at least he took you out for pizza and a movie first.

Here is a video I heard about yesterday from LAX Sundays in Hollywood for the Banana Split party featuring DJ “Gayer Than Bicycle Shorts” AM and Aoki where Paris Hilton shows us what money does to a girl who could have been high society, sipping tea with royalty, playing tennis with other blue blooded people named Blair, but instead chose to be a coked up whore who goes to shitty clubs and dances while getting wasted like she was a piece of trailer park trash on crystal meth fucking on camera to pay for the next hit, because I guess you can’t buy class, but you can buy drugs and it’s probably a lot more fun than class, even if you embarrass yourself and your family in the process.

I ripped off the transcript of what she said from another site, because I am lazy so here it is:

“. . . by the way this Sunday fucking night DJ am is here–the shit–he has all his boys–he fucking rocks. LAX is the best fucking place to go. Sunday night is my new favorite night. Everyone in here is rocking their fucking balls off. I love it. I wanna suck it, fuck it, lick it, eat it, snort it, fuck it, [unintelligible]. So lets all party our nuts off because this is the best crowd. Fuck the Hollywood crowd. I love the LAX crowd. They’re all here fucking DJ AM Steve Aoki and all of AM’s fucking boys who are the best DJs ever. We’re gonna have so much fun tonight. I love you and there’s so many hot girls and boys here that I wanna fuck you all. I love you all.”

I know a few people who were at this event and apparently she was celebrating her birthday and kissing up on all the DJs and was acting all kinds of crazy. When they told me they had pictures of the event, I just didn’t give a fuck, because I see shots of Paris partying and dancing around like a useless cunt more often than I see my cock, which is also a useless cunt, but a little more penis-influenced, but that’s not the point. She’s played out, she’s old, she’s done did and I think the world is ready for Paris to jump off a bridge or have an overdose in her million dollar home. because clearly the glory days are over, but you gotta give her credit and that is that all young girls fuck on camera now, because of what Paris did and that makes surfing exgirlfriend porn a hell of a lot more interesting than it was 10 years ago and that’s not such a bad legacy to have. Cuddles.

Amy Winehouse was seen at 6 am walking the streets barefoot in her bra lookin’ like she just woke up for an refreshing good night’s sleep and I think she’s lookin’ pretty hot, but I also think a plastic bag of ground beef is hot, that’s just because I live with a wife who is about as sexy as the shit she leaves smeared on our toilet seat, which is actually a lot hotter than it sounds, but still leaves me impotent.

The reality is that I am a monogamous masturbater. That pretty much means that when I used to jerk off I would only do it to the same girl over and over again, like we were in some kind of relationship she never knew about. If I wasn’t impotent, Amy Winehouse would be that girl but that’s just because I have a thing for skinny girls who are down and out and on the verge of death because I know that if she knew someone was jerking off to her, maybe she’d feel a little better about themselves and wouldn’t overdose. I am a hero like that.

Just remember if you see a girl on the street lookin’ like this, don’t run away, she’s already half naked and she’s probably easy pickings so you won’t have to cry to your friends about never getting laid. She’s also probably too busy self destructing to be high maintenance or demanding on you, you know asking why you never call or why you don’t want her meeting your friends. She’d pretty much be a dream girlfriend.