So Lohan has been on a crazed party spree according to the media. Bitch has been caught doing blow on video. She’s been seen drinking vodka out of the bottle cuz that’s so fucking crazy. She’s been having really loud sex with models in hotel rooms and she’s not even 21 yet. It sounds to me like bitch is having a good fucking time and that this is better than any college frat party or Girls Gone Wild DVD. So I support the fall into Satan’s temptation….

I know I’d be doing the same thing if I had all kinds of money, which I don’t. I also know that no matter how fucking drunk, high, wasted, jacked, inebriated, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, I was, I would never fuck anything that looked like this fucking piece of trash bull dyke Samantha Ronson. I know that Lohan’s been rumored to be rockin’ this cunt like it was a dick and by the looks of her, it probably is a fucking dick or at least it was at one point in time. I was trying to make out whether she is a tranny by looking for an adam’s apple, but she’s conveniently wearing a fucking tie to cover it up like she was your dad on his way to a bank to get the approved for a loan to buy your family a new trailer home.

I know that this Ronson has a twin sister, and I happened to watch an episode of 20/20 last week about transgendered kids. One story was about a set of fraternal twins that were about 13 years old at the time. The dude twin decided that he was a girl when he was young and at the age of 2 dude tried to cut off his dick with a set of nail clippers and from that day on dressed like a girl and resented his sister for being a girl. The kid was all fucked up and angry and I have a feeling that story was actually some old footage about the Ronson twins….but I can’t be sure…

Either way, they have to have a rich dad who is industry, because this talentless cunt obviously has no business traveling the world with Lohan. Even if she is stuffing Lohan like a thanksgiving Turkey. I guess that’s what Wikipedia is for and rich or not, we’ve already established that all the money in the world will never make you a real woman. Sure you can get the expensive surgery, you can afford the hormone therapy, but motherfucker, we know you were born a man and that means you have the insides of a man and no straight dude will stick his dick in your artificially lubed plastic box knowing that, but you’re a good transitional person for straight girls looking for a lesbian experience without actually admitting that they are dykes and into chicks….I guess you already figured that out on your own. Slut.

Bonus - Here are some pics of Lohan Dancing for Her Lesbian Cock. She is Lookin’ A Little More Haggard than Usual. I Guess Her Cocaine Lifestyle is Taking Its Toll….

All Pics Via Cobrasnake, The

I emailed DJ AM a while ago because I heard he was playing in Montreal. He never emailed me back. I asked him for guestlist because I figured we were friends, you know with me always speaking so highly of him and shit, but I was wrong. The motherfucker never emailed me back, he never put me on the list and I was forced to go through one of my stepdaughter’s friends to get in because DJ AM is a fucking cocksucker.

I got to the event and it was filled with so many fucking chachi pieces of shit. I felt like it was a Diesel Jeans sample sale and every Italian and his cousin came out to get a deal. AM came in with 4 bodyguards because he feels like he is more important than he really is and this is a video of him and one of his boyfriends trying to fix his DJ set up. I knew when I saw them that their relationship consisted of more than just fixing DJ equipment but this was as close as I got to the asshole giving the dude with the flashlight a rim job…

I left after 10 minutes because there is only so much overpaid Bar Mitvah DJing that I can handle and I heard dude made 6,000 dollars to play for all these fucking losers, and that probably means that this fucker is overpaid and that even though this video won’t make me 6,000 dollars, at least I go to bed knowing that I didn’t get to the top by sticking my lame penis up in Nicole Richie’s 90 pound cooch, not that I wouldn’t, but I just didn’t.

I may be drunk and this may be a drunk edit, but I think if you focus on the video, you can tell that DJ AM is a popstar that is Gayer than Bicycle shorts. The way this cocksucker handles his vinyl will make any queer dream of him diddling their anus….That means you….Homo… Cuddles…

PS - DJ AM, Next Time You Should Put Me On the Guestlist. Asshole.