So if you’re wondering what young lesbians buy when they grocery shopping in their lesbian jeans and lesbian converse shoes with their ratty lesbian hair, you’re prayers have just been answered and you’ll be shocked to find that it is all organic vegetables since lebsians like Ellen Page aren’t known for being environmentalist, tree hugging hippies that take themselves too seriously and listens to music with a meaning bullshits. The good news is that they also buy cucumber, oversized carrots and bananas to use in the bedroom when the mouth to pussy action just doesn’t bring the satisfaction you’d want it to.

The truth is I am all for first time lesbian fantasies where 2 young girls explore each other’s bodies during some kind of high school sleep over that leads to them going at it in the shower but it pretty much ends there. When I watch lesbian porn, there’s just no closure and I am always waiting for the stepfather to walk in on the little sluts to break it up by having them both suck him off at the same time. Either way, that kind of lesbianism is a lot better than Ellen Page kind of lesbianism, because she’s all high maintenance and has a bush.

I don’t watch Saturday Night Live because I don’t find it funny and because I don’t have a TV. Comedy sketches remind me of the weird Drama club in high school and the only thing those girls were good at was giving had jobs after convincing them that it will help them with their role in Romeo and Juliette. Knowing what a dick feels like makes the intensity of their performance more believable or some shit.

Either way, here’s lesbian Ellen Page doing a lesbian coming out of the closet skit on Saturday Night Live that didn’t make me laugh because there’s nothing funny about gay jokes, except when a group of homophobe frat boys get drunk and bust out the closet case jokes and make each other suck each other’s dicks or cum on crackers collectively while 5 of their buddies gangbang a cheerleader, because to a closet case, it’s not homo if there’s at least one vagina in the room.

I guess the lesson in this video is that if you don’t want a lesbian daughter, don’t name her Ellen.