Here are some pictures of Rihanna at some Unicef shit because she cares about the people and I decided to post them because I care about her. She’s my new Lohan, because let’s face it, Lohan has herpes and way too many issues for me to bother stalking her. So Rihanna may be the future, but I haven’t decided. I am just excited to see her bad skin because pimples remind me of High School and High School reminds me of Musicals and Musicals remind me of this gay dude I used to know who liked to dance and sing show tunes and that always gave me a good laugh. I don’t know where he is now, but he’s probably pregnant in some hospital and by pregnant I mean dying of AIDS…not cuz AIDS is the gay disease but because he was a man-slut….oh wait…maybe it is cuz AIDS is the Gay Disease. CUDDLES!!

Here’s a joke that writes itself, here are pictures of Paris Hilton at a Benefit event for The Foundation of AIDS Research. She’s either the keynote speaker who is going to talk about how all the unprotected sex she’s had has only lead to herpes, so AIDS doesn’t exist, because she’s had lots of unprotected sex with lots of people or maybe she’s there to invest in finding a cure because it does exist and it’s living in her underwear…if she’s even wearing any….that whore.

So this is that meth-head Jodie Sweetin who was Stephanie Tanner on Full House when she was a kid. She always took the backseat to the Olsens and from the way I see it, she was just an accessory to making them billionaires, while leaving her in the corner hating herself so much, unable to get work and turning to smoking meth. Think about it, you’re on the same show as these cunts and they don’t even have a fucking talking role because they are still in diapers, but for some reason they still build a fucking empire out of it, while you just fizzle off into nowhere, living in your parents shitty house they bought with your money, your big tits and all, you’d be hurting too…

Reality is that her tits are so fucking stacked that there is no way she was ever really addicted to meth. The way she can barely fit into her jeans makes me think it was some E! True Hollywood lie to get her back into the public eye, land her some interviews on TV and in Magazines and give her the opportunity to show the world she’s still around and by still around I mean her massive tits. This Bitch is all big and bubbly and trying to make a comeback. all the meth addicts I’ve known have had ratty fucking skin, emaciated meth bodies, no tits, yellow meth eyes and have been shaky, speedy, itchy anxiety ridden. I don’t think there is anyway that this bitch was on meth, I think it’s a way to launch a K-Mart product line and series of children’s books.

Either way, she is at the opening of Retard Harry Morton’s restaurant/club called Pink Taco. He’s Lohan’s ex boyfriend, son of the owner of Hard Rock Cafe, Grandson of Morton’s Steakhouse and I am assuming that dude wasn’t inspired by Lohan when he came up with this fucking stupid name, because if he had the place would be called “The Big Spotted and Scabby Red Cunt That Smells Like Shit From Rotten Cum From Other Dudes She had Raw Dog Sex With and Let Drop Load in Her and a Tampon She Forgot in there a Month Ago when She Was Drunk”, I don’t think that would have been so good for business, but he’s a rich kid, he doesn’t need the business to make money, it’s just his dad’s way of giving him something to keep his son busy with…

That Lohan Vagina joke was probably pretty obvious, but I am hungover again and just trying to get through the day….

Other People in Attendance of His Big Opening:

Jessica Alba With Her Extreme Face Close-Up

Some Chick Named Nikki Griffin I want to See Naked

Kristen Cavallari With Her Weird Tattoo

Summer Altice and her Muscles

Kimberly Stewart And her Stupid Outfit

Mary Carey and her Busted Face

Amy Smart