You know Paris Hilton is a huge star when I find pictures of her dancing at a club and hugging up on some chick like they are best fucking friends for life on Facebook. She’s like one of those accessible celebrities who hangs out with anyone who isn’t famous around her because they are the only people who are impressed by her and it’s good for her ego. They are the kind of people who feel like they are important just because they are in her slut presence and Paris needs that positive affirmation because everyone else in the world thinks she’s a fuckin’ joke. If it wasn’t for these select few ass lickers out there, there wouldn’t even be a Paris Hilton, the harsh reality of her sucking at life would have hit a long time ago and bitch would have jumped off twentieth floor balcony back then.

So as long as there are socialite wannabes and horny dudes willing to fuck some skinny coked up bitch with herpes, there will be a Paris Hilton because she’ll think she has a purpose and we’ll have the facebook uploads as memories of each and everyone one of these club night encounters and I hate all you fuckers for that.

You are the same guy who made this fat bitch I know think she’s all fuckin that, like god’s fucking gift to sucking cock who thinks she gives the best fucking blowjob the world and deserves presents and to be worshipped all because and asshole told her she was awesome. What she doesn’t know is that when getting a blowjob from a willing girl, it’s always the best fucking blowjob and we tell you that it’s the best fucking blowjob because we are trying to fuckin’ cum and if we were to focus on your fucking flaws at giving a blowjob we’d go fuckin’ limp and forced to jerk off like we always fucking do, making the whole blowjob a waste of our time. So don’t let this get to your head bitch, it’s just part of the fuckin’ process and we tell every girl who sucks are dick that she gives the best fucking blowjob and you don’t deserve presents or to be worshipped, because your blowjob was average at best, it was just the best blowjob we were getting at the time. Cuddles.

This was just emailed into me and I decided to give them a post because I fucking love drunk girls. I think girls handle booze differently than guys do and it usually involves them slutting out, where guys usually end up ruining all their chances of slutting out, because they are either too busy being creepy perverts or throwing up on themselves or their friends after breaking things. It’s like every wasted girl I’ve ever come in contact with has been either showing off her underwear, flashing her tits, or sucking dick in the bathroom or at least willing to try doing all of those things. The girls who let themselves get this drunk are usually medicating some kind of insecurity and since insecure girls want to be the prettiest girls in the room that all the boys want, the best way to get that attention is to throw themselves at dudes or get naked in the process. I guess it’s the same reason why herpes is so widely spread, but there’s nothing wrong with a little STD if everyone’s got ‘em.

The other thing that there’s nothing wrong with is laughing at yourself the day after you were a fucking disaster by posting shit to whatever social site you’re on, because taking yourself so seriously makes me hate you and being drunk is enough of an excuse for anything stupid you do and least it’s the one I’ve been using for 2 decades. I guess that’s the reason why having your mom as a friend sucks.