I wasn’t going to post today and write April’s Fool tomorrow because I figured it was a good excuse to be lazy, but since my life is pretty lazy I didn’t know that April Fool’s is tomorrow so I have to wait a full day to fool all you fuckers and now that I’ve ruined my joke, which in all honesty was really shitty but I am not really capable of thinking up a new one because that’s how useless I am.

Speaking of useless, Paris Hilton was in Turkey having a nice romantic lunch with her lesbian lover Benji Madden and the paparazzi went nuts. Stories as big as Paris Hilton being in their country just don’t happen too often in Turkey and the dumb bitch fell on her face and hit her chin.

The funniest thing in this video isn’t that Paris Hilton fell, even though we love seeing bitch on the ground in hopes that she’ll never get up. It is how Benji Madden tries to defuse the situation like a good boyfriend by trying to reason with the Paparazzi that his baby hurt herself and he wants to take care of her. Everyone knows you aren’t supposed to treat a whore like that and if she happens to get hurt in time you spend with her, you are supposed to drag her out on the street by her hair and flee the scene so that you don’t go down with her.

Unfortunately, momma’s boy Madden thinks the noble thing to do is to be a gentleman about the whole thing, so that he can take care of Paris, without realizing how much of a pussy it makes him look like. The reality is that leaving Paris on the ground in her own blood amongst rabid paparazzi is the best help he can give her. You know sometimes the best way to teach a kid how to ride a bike is to let him fall off it a few times first.

This is Paris Hilton, we’re talking about, she’s the kind of girl you try to push down the stairs, not pick back up and brush off after her awkward self trips over her huge feet, then causing a scene basically coming out of the fuckin’ closet like a little pussywhipped girl for the world to see.

Here’s a video of the Paparazzi in Turkey fighting over Paris because not much else is going on there and it’s more interesting than Benji Madden’s coming out video…