Guess who just woke up still drunk from the Thanksgiving party I had for myself last night that involved drinking and a turkey that wasn’t so much of a turkey but more of a bottle of Whiskey……Here’s some Australian model named Miranda Kerr modeling some bikinis. It’s Thanksgiving and I figured I should throw something up for you fuckers, because I have a feeling that the 6 of you are the kinds of guys who don’t get invited to family functions and ever if you were, you’d be uncomfortable leaving your computer for the amount of time it would take to eat dinner and because I am in Canada and it’s a work day for everyone here, not that that really has much influence on the way I live my life as is now, cuz this isn’t a fuckin’ job.
Either way, I’ve decided that Vagina is my poison, but that’s just because I’ve only been with disgusting girls and like to joke about how I only bag dirt, like a gardener or a hippie with a compost pile in his self containted organic living compound. But then I remember that joke isn’t funny and cry instead because I realize that I suck at life and would like to give thanks for that.
I don’t know when these Miranda Kerr Bikini Pictures were taking, but she’s hot right now and I am into hot girls, so that’s my post.
Here’s a big surprise for you, I had no idea that the Victoria’s Secret fashion show was going down last night because I am bad at this shit and generally don’t really care about shit that’s going on. So it was a morning email surprise and now I have a ton of pictures of the event to share with you, so you don’t have to watch the shit when it hits your TV later in the year, or whenever the fuck they air them because your mom will probably be watching them too, and it’s always embarrassing getting a boner with your mom on the couch next to you.
Either way I usually feel like a virgin faggot when I finish writing a post on cleavage or hot asses, because I am more into creeping on girls in real life than writing shit about celebrities I don’t care about on the internet, but the difference in this post is that I do care. I have a thing for Bikini and Lingerie models that you probably understand and have made a point in my life to marry one. Since that never worked out for me I’ve always dated half-rate, discount, bargain basements, last weeks kitchen garbage, versions of bikini models, because let’s face it, my wife would have it going on if she got Gastric Bypass, lost 200 lbs and got surgery to remove the excess skin that left huge scars and stretch marks all over her body, breast implants and maybe even a new face and time machine that turned her 25 again….so in a lot of ways I guess I am dating a Lingerie/Bikini model, I just don’t know it because I am too negative to see what I have before my eyes because she’s fucking disgusting lookin….when if I look really deep, beneath all that disgusting is a hot girl suffocating to death….
Bonus - Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham and Geri “Ginger Spice” Haliwell Performing at Half Time…..
I love girls who love lingerie and it seems like all girls I ever met have huge collections of it, other than drug addicts with no money and who sell or soil their 2 pairs of underwear that they wash in public bathrooms to stay fresh but beyond the addiction love lingerie. Girls tend to have more panty drawers in their dresser than they have dude’s who want to fuck them in their phone and I am all for watching them try on every single piece they own. The shit makes them feel sexy and glamorous and makes me feel like the creep that I am, because I’m watching from the tree in their backyard with a set of binoculars, but I can still make out what’s going down and I am all for that, at least when they are rockin’ it for me and not for some other homeboy.
Jessica Simpson was there lookin hot….because she’s a Christian girl gone bad….and I love those.
Vanessa Hudgens was there researching what to wear next in her sleazy self-shot pictures with Zac Efron who was there pretending he likes women in lingerie when he’s more into wearing it himself cuz he’s gay.
Joanna Krupa was there…..because she actually gets paid to wear lingerie because she is hot….
Dita Von Teese was there….even though no one wants to see her in lingerie…but she is strips down into lingerie every chance she gets….
Kristen Bell was there but I still don’t know who she is….
I never understood Heatherette, they are some kind of drugged up club kid tranny shit that all these celebrity bitches fell in love with and bought into and now they are making more money than anyone you know being all drugged up tranny club kid outrageousness. Either way, Kim Kardashian and Jenna Jameson were some of the “stars” and I used that term loosely, more loose than both of their porned up twats, who modeled for their fashion show.
I fucking hate porn bitches but I guess there’s something nice about seeing a successful mainstream pornstar and an unsuccessful amateur pornstar hanging out. It’s like seeing the Big Brothers of America teaching some homeless poor kid how to play baseball. I know they are both sluts and that they both put out for money like the street trash drug addicts I used to pay to fuck and they let the people doing them film them like it’s not a big deal which is amazing because trying to convince girls over the years to let me bust out my polaroid never really worked out for me. The best I got was a picture of one of them sleeping with part of her tit hanging out, but I even got busted for that and she destroyed it. So as I suck at life, these girls who seemingly suck at life too, also suck dick on camera and hang out at fashion shows together.
I can only assume that Jenna got casted in the part because bitch looks like a fucking tranny, and apparently Heatherette is into trannies. I love how fucking serious she’s taking this gig like it’s a fucking academy award performance or her first big break onto the fashion model scene because no matter what she does or how she does it, I will always know that she’s nothing but a broken down girl with daddy issues, who used her cunt to get ahead…a cunt that looks like she may soon be turning into a cock. Porn Bitches are trash. I’d rather see everyday girls get fucked any day. That’s the end of that.
