Serena Williams is a fucking beast. This creature kills it on the tennis courts and now she is killing me while rockin’ a bikini. I know that I have attacked these twins for being the modern day “Ladybugs” or it’s newer “She’s The Man” spin-off, saying that their tennis father dressed his little boys up as girls at a young age to destroy all the conservative white folks at the tennis club he was the landscaper at, but I think I was wrong and that these girls are in fact girls. I also think I was wrong in ripping into them for being too fat to be athletes because lets face it, they always fucking win, and maybe my perception of being fit is not actually what being fit is, because I consider any girl not being fed through an IV or feeding tube too fat and instead of worrying about who or what they are, we should focus in on this crazy fucking booty, because let’s face it, it’s pretty much impossible not to. This thing is huge and I think I’m ready to see her make it talk, but I am not sure her bedroom floor or anything she’s standing on is strong enough to withstand the impact…
Speaking of impact, a little known fact about these pictures of her surfing is that the wave she is riding was created when she jumped in the ocean.
That little known fact was weak, I am going to take a coffee break and try to collect my thoughts. Today has been a disgrace to myself and in the meantime, check out Serena Williams’ ass.
I always find it funny seeing fat people work out. I don’t know what it is but I always laugh in their face and feel the need to give them words of encouragement like I am watching someone run a marathon and are covered in shit and puke and 100 yards away from the finish line, only instead of actually doing anything impressive, the fat people are fully decked out in sports gear and are walking briskly, but still manage to have the look of impending death on their faces. I guess it’s nice to see people attempt to improve their overall health, but sometimes its a little too late for them and they should have probably taken the initiative by saying no to cake over the last 10 years of their life. I mean I am a fat guy and I live with a fat woman and I see both of us struggle to do everyday things, like fit into chairs, stand up after sitting on the couch and even when trying to fuck we end up giving up because of pulled muscles, uncontrollable heart rates and light headedness, which has turned out to be the greatest excuse no to bang my wife and also to never dress up in athletic gear and make a fool of myself in public.
Here’s Kim Kardashian still delusional about being a fat chick, she seriously thinks she’s normal sized and has the right to do what normal sized people do and that is funny.
I feel a lot like Kim Kardashian today. I ate chinese food with a friends at 5 am last night and had fast food in the afternoon, I ate a bag of chips and about 12 beers throughout the day and this has been going on for a few months and I’ve lost buttons off all my pants, people refer to me as big guy more than they ever have, I have scars from where my jogging pant elastic waistband digs into my skin. My T-shirt barely works anymore more and exposes my backside when I sit, because there isn’t enough fabric to go around, and everyone can see my fat ass crack since I don’t wear underwear. It’s got to the point where mothers have come up to me and have asked me to pull up my pants because they find me inappropriate with the kids like I was R. Kelly.
Here is Kim Kardashian and her Junk Food Eating body up in her bikini again all because you like fat chicks.
Kim Kardashian is a fucking beast of a girl who shouldn’t be out in a bikini, but should be at home on her treadmill because that is not a hot fat ass, it is just a fat ass. Sure her and her sister both have pretty curvy bodies and big hips but at least her sister doesn’t break chairs when she sits down.
The thing I love about these pictures is the animal print front of her bikini, not because her vagina is a wild animal that can’t be tamed, but because no matter how little clothing she has on and no matter how much money she has in the bank, she’s still a fuckin’ piece of trash, a really overweight piece of trash.
Bonus - Kim Kardashian Maintaining her Body By Eating Ice Cream Cuz She’s Fat and Likes Putting Things in Her Mouth
Another BONUS - Pictures of her Fat Ass Shopping Earlier in the Week
I know that these Lohan smoking on the street looking like a whore with a fat ass pictures have already been circulating but I am not committed to being first at anything. I have accepted my position as the most irrelevant website on the internet just as Lohan has accepted that she will be left working as a common whore, unfortunately we’re not there yet and this rehab shit is working against us, but I still have hope that cocaine is her gateway drug that will open her up to other drugs like crack, because crack only takes you one place and it’s a good one…for people like us who always wanted to bang her.
I got this email today from someone who feels the same way about me as I do….
You say “fuck” about every 3 words, as though it’s somehow funny or creative.
(It’s not — and you’re not.)
I probably would have thought you were slightly funny when I was, like, 4.
Grow the fuck up, goober.
(Don’t bother responding — you’re blocked, and this e-mail address doesn’t accept responses. If you think that’s lame — fuck you: your godaddy registration is anonymous.)
Here are those Lohan looking like a whore pictures:
