Here are the Celine Dion Bikini pictures that I have been waiting to see for 10 years. I don’t know when they were taken and I hate this bitch as much as you do but there’s just something magical about french chicks that you probably don’t understand because you don’t live in Montreal.

I’ll quickly explain because I figure it’s my role as the Number 1 Blog of Montreal to give you good reason to come to this city and that good reason is the french girls.

French girls are sluts, they are into sex and they are pretty fucking dirty girls in the bedroom. They are liberal, emotional and like anal and being naked. They don’t take much working on, you basically just need to catch them when they are horny or impress them by pretending you are famous because a lot of the french girls I have met have been from small shitty communities and work as bar maids or waitresses or strippers and are easily impressed. They spend their money on nice clothes, lookin good and going out instead of shit waspy corporate suburban trash spend their money on, like pant suits for the office car and mortgage payments and other expenses to ensure a dull fucking existence.

Majority of strippers in Montreal are french and have tight fucking bodies even though they only eat french fries and drink wine. They are genetically programmed to maintain a tight lookin’ figure well into their 50s even with chain smoking, hard livin’ and bad food. By the time they are 30, their faces usually look weathered and old like a wilted flower but their bodies scream 16 year old and the older they get the sluttier they get to try to hold onto their youthful years of multiple sex partners.

The only problem with french girls is that they don’t speak english, they hate english people and they don’t get my fucking jokes. Every french girl I try to talk to don’t get what I am saying and my shit goes way over their heads. When a sense of humor is all you’ve got, you’ll be going home alone, but if you’re older and richer, they are totally into having you for a daddy. Kinda like Celine did with her manager husband who tapped her ass at 14 before making her famous and leading her to believe that she’s nothing without him….