Someone keeps buzzing my door and I am not answering it. I have come to the realization that people don’t like me and potentially could want me dead so I just lock myself up in this place until I run out of food. The flaw in this plan is that I live with my wife and she likes to eat and I already caught her eating our last can of beans and I’ve only been in lock down for 15 minutes.

Either way, I know that you don’t care about my insanity and paranoia, but based on the hate mail I get daily, you’d probably understand it. Before I decided to go into lock down, I was out getting a coffee and this tiny girl was wearing some cleavage exposing shirt and her nipples were hanging out every time she moved. She was probably just about 5 foot and had all the same proportions as a tall chick, like long legs for her body and all that shit, but she was just in a smaller package, kinda like my penis, because at one time it looked it just doesn’t live up to the measurement test, but that’s not the point, the point is that Hayden Panettiere is also about 5 foot tall but not proportionate at all, unless you’re comparing her to a tank in which case, she probably is. Here she is pumping her own gas, I guess they didn’t get the pics of her changing her tires and the oil while building a shed in her backyard, cuz that’s just the kind of dude she is.

Bonus - Some Hayden Nipple Action Leaving the Gym