These GQ pictures remind me a some 1970’s erotic film kick only not very erotic at all.
A bunch of years ago I was working in construction with a friend of mine and we were doing demo on a house. We got the plaster off one wall and noticed a metal tin. We opened it up and found a handful of love letters than I guess were sent to this guy over the course of a decade from some girl and in those erotic love letters about missing each other, and classy sexual references because it was the 60s and they didn’t say shit like “Rape your gaping asshole while choking you out with a rubber cock as my friend pissed on your face”, you know like we do today when we are trying to express our love to our long lost mistresses, girlfriends, or whatever this “secret” love affair was.
The highlight of the tin was a series of topless photos of the chick and at least 4 or 5 tufts of her pubic hair in various letters, mainly because I had never seen pubic hair from the 60s, and it as nice to see how little it has changed over the years, but also because sniffing it made me cum pretty fast when jerking off to it, I just hope the pubic hair once belonged to a woman, cuz otherwise that’d make me gay, right?
I know people find Megan Fox so fucking hot. You know constantly referencing her as the hottest bitch in Hollywood, while all I see is this Angelina Jolie impersonator with shitty tattoos and a lame boyfriend who has had a ton of plastic surgery, but you know what, it’s not about me.
Yesterday, I was talking to some 17 year old girl, as I do, you know to get in good with them when they are young, so that by the time they are 18, they feel comfortable enough to let you go down on them one night while drunk, despite the fact that 18 year old girls these days have been fucking since they were 7 and are dirtier than dirty 30 year olds you meet in AA.
Either way, she was going off about Megan Fox and how amazing she is and how she loves her views on sexuality and how she would totally scissor this bitch all night fucking long, and I realized that sci-fi dudes are not the only ones who jerk off this this cunt, but everyone does.
Here is her entire set from GQ. I posted a few of them the other day, but figured why not give you all there is….
Last night during a sexual fantasy I was having in my sleep I had a vision of Megan Fox and Lindsay Lohan having sex. I figure it could have been the wet spot on my mattress from my dog pissing in the bed that triggered it, or the fact that I saw Megan Fox at the MTV Awards and figured she needed to wear a vagina as a Swine Flu Mask, and figured why not make it Lohan’s. She’s been out of work and ready to take the fuck over and this kind of union would sell millions in DVDs. So let’s hope Megan Fox embraces that bi-sexuality she claims to have and makes this kind of magic happen.
In the meantime, here she is in some GQ pictures lookin good.
Here she is doing the Angelina Jolie at the MTV Movie Award Bullshit….
I like Lydia Hearst. She is a top model. She doesn’t mind getting naked. She’s from one of America’s original power families and probably has a huge trust fund but still seems to be cool enough to get her to do my laundry for me.
Maybe it has to do with her mother being some rebel into the art and faggot scene, who married her bodyguard and is in every one of John Waters’ movies, who was kidnapped and charged with sympathizing with her kidnappers after robbing banks with them or some shit.
I mean I don’t really know the story, but I know that this Lydia vagina could have been a Paris Hilton about shit, but instead she gets naked for big money in low key, artistic, fashion nudes that actually turn me on alot more that Paris’ trashy porn tapes.
Marilyn Manson’s exgirlfriend or current girlfriend or whatever the fuck she is did a photoshoot for GQ and not unlike vampire freaks before her, selling her soul to the devil, hiding from the sun, keepin’ skinny on a blood diet, talking about intense shit amongst each other like planning school shootings and hating the government and “normal” people, hasn’t made her any hotter even if sex with her would be on some next level serial killer level of intensity, her 6 inch blade tampon remains a turn off.
I don’t know what I am talking about, but I am sure it’s something.
Normally getting anything “Mexico” stamped on anything you do is a pretty bad sign, you know since us Mexicans are looked down upon in America. We are seen as the bottom feeders who don’t belong there and our own country is seen as only worth the beaches and Spring Break parties, but it’s nice to see that Mexico has their own GQ magazine that showcases things that are more than just Donkey Shows, how to jump the border, how to work slower than any other human in the fucking world, or local talent like America Ferrira and Eva Longoria and have moved into the likes of Rihanna, who I want to fuck…..especially when Photoshopped in her bikini, cuz she looks better that way. Viva Mexico!
Annalynne McCord is proof that being skinny will get you noticed, because people are distracted by her lean body to realize she’s got some kind of primate shit going on with her face. She has manipulated the system so proper that despite being on a totally useless fucking show I can’t imagine anyone watching, she’s managed to squeeze her way into GQ, like she squeezes herself through small spaces because she can. She’s obviously got a good publicist with a whole lot of contacts who see a bright shiny future for this bitch and they are putting some muscle behind her to get her to really stain the mainstream, like my wife stains my sheets with her secretions. I don’t have anything else to say, because like a reader wrote me in an email, I have soul cancer.
In GQ’s attempt to not go bankrupt like every other magazine, they’ve gone ahead and released some outtakes from a Megan Fox shoot that went down a long time ago, because they aren’t idiots and know we all want to see them.
You all love this cunt so fucking much it makes me fucking sick. Sure these photoshopped pictures of her are fucking hot, but if you’ve ever read any interviews with her, which you have, since you have them all saved on your hardd rive for masturbation purposes, you’ll know she’s full of fucking shit, has an ego, thinks she’s the next Angelina Jolie and has probably had some work done to look like the next Angelina Jolie and is a product of her PR company trying to make her out to be some kind of sex symbol, when all she really is is some useless slag with shitty tattoos, not talent who is fucking a guy from the original 90210 with a pretty amazing body that I’d like to hate fuck.
Since I recently started hating Montreal Moroccan Jew’s because they tried to rip me off and banned me from their hair salon, I have trouble posting this shit because I know this whore probably knows that Moroccan Jew I dealt with the other day since he’s about the same age and her and all these motherfuckers stick together in their sleazy, conning African Dessert peddler ways. It’s like they all go to the same schools, they all go to the same temple and they all know each other’s business like all minority groups, but then I realized that she moved from this shitty city when she was 2 and that’s probably part of the reason she’s famous now and not ripping off young girls for dyeing her hair like the fucking poofter I had an altercation with last week.
The truth is that she doesn’t look like a typical troll of a droopy faced Jewish girl and has got it goin’ on, so I guess that over-rides our cultural differences. Here she is in GQ.
Since I’ve been doing this a long time, I kind of understand the cycle that celebrities go through when they are promoting movies because they all go to the same route and all have the same worthless publicist who uses the same fuckin’ contacts to get the same kind of exposure as all the other girls. They all do the same daytime TV shows, late night TV shows, magazines and GQ is one of them and this is Mila Kunis’ shoot.
It’s like a bitch is pretty much non-exitant for years then all of sudden she’s everywhere, people are writing about her, people are talking about her, all because of her stupid movie when they should be giving her dirty looks for being the girl who fuck’s that kid from Home Alone, because whenever I tell people how I wanna bang the girl from Parent Trap they all give me dirty look….Life is unfair more proof of that is how much this photoshoot sucks. If I did GQ, I’d make sure they sprawl me out in a skimpy bikini on a bear fur rug, but only because fat guys in bikinis always gets a cheap laugh and at this point I am willing to do pretty much anything to make someone laugh…
Cameron Diaz is the new GQ cover girl and I think she’s lookin’ pretty good. She’s always had a good body with long legs and I guess that’s the reason Justin Timberlake used her to be his pretend girlfriend so that we didn’t catch onto him being a fag. You know anyone who dances like that’s either into little boys or big boys or pretty much anything with a penis and it is with my expert opinion that Cameron Diaz doesn’t have a penis but she does look like she likes penis with makes the whole thing pretty confusing to me. Since I am hungover, I’ll leave this post like this. I decided that I have nothing else to say about it. Speaking of confusing - WATCH THIS
These pictures of Claudia Schiffer for GQ dropped recently and I didn’t post it yet because my server sucks. It’s no surprise that bitch looks good. I’ve written about her before saying that she’s got it going on for a mom of 3 in her 40s about to dry up in menopause and I stand by that. Then again you have to realize that I have never had much of an issue with mom’s in menopause because they always try harder and a little warming lube always gives the illusion that the vagina isn’t dead.
I don’t really care about photoshoots because they are all white washed, airbrushed and not real life, but I figure since I always complain about how busted some of these celebrities look in bikinis on the beach, I’d throw up this naked Lima pictures from GQ because she’s got a hot body.
The last time I was on the beach was a long time ago the only bitches who get half naked or topless seem to be European middle aged women who have had so many kids that their old lady floppy tits and ravaged loosed skinned stomachs aren’t something they are insecure about anymore, it’s something they’ve grown to accept, because if they didn’t then they’d be forced to jump off a bridge or some shit. It’s the equivalent of a fat lady wearing jogging pants out in public because the elastic waistband is he only thing that fits. It’s never the tight bodied teen lookin’ for a tan to bring home to her boyfriend who runs around with her hot body naked. So being a pervert, I was forced to stare at any nipples the ocean offered but I wasn’t very happy about it.
Here are those Adriana Lima pics because this shit never happens in real life….
Watch the Behind the Scenes Photoshoot Video You Pervert.
So I’ve been celebrating a holiday I am not allowed to celebrate because I am not American, and drinking is my kind of protest, but I also like making excuses about why I am drinking at 6 am on someone’s couch with a dude who has webbed toes, like he was some kind of Hayden Panettiere circus performing freak, except that he’s more attractive than she is, because he can hide his creepy disorders in a pair of fuckin’ socks, while she’s wearing that shit on her sleeve everytime she leaves the house and starts juggling.
This is the video of her photoshoot for GQ that was probably the hottest she’s ever looked.
Since it’s Thanksgiving, I’d like everyone to take a moment for our troops in Iraq who can’t be home for this really special holiday weekend and are instead fighting for our freedom. Thanks guys! I’m just joking….because Thanksgiving isn’t a real holiday. It’s more of a joke.
I don’t understand why you American assholes make such a big deal out of it. I am in Canada and we got a day off back in October, even though everyday is a day off for me. I don’t understand why you have movies about Thanksgiving weekend or 4 -5 day weekends for the shit, it’s a bigger deal than Christmas and I can only assume that the Jews are behind this shit.
Either way, I would like to give thanks to GQ for always getting hot pics and good photographers hustlin’ their magazine’s celebrity spreads and apparently they hired a magician or some kind of tribal miracle worker because Hayden Panettiere actually looks good enough to stop trying to convince to join my DrunkenStepfather carnival and watch shower instead. I am hoping she doesn’t get the wrong idea and think she actually looks like she does in these pics, even though we can all agree we wish her actual self will turn into her picture-self, because that’s just going to be fuel to the fire that is her ego that already thinks she’s the hottest troll to hit the mainstream.
They also did some sexually suggestive Rihanna pictures, but bitch is always sexually suggestive so it’ not that big of a deal, but I’ll post them anyway, because I’m accommodating like she was before she was famous, back home on the island she comes from, workin’ at resorts and whorin’ out to a lot of rich married Americans hoping that one of them would fall for her talent and give her the big break, and by big break, I mean knock her up, forcing them to marry her and bring her to America, so that she can take 5 day weekends to celebrate thanksgiving too. Because having days off for holidays that shouldn’t be holidays is all part of the American Dream.
