Heidi Montag can’t sing. I’d give her credit for trying but people already do and that’s why she’s in this position to begin with. I know this story all too well and it’s the story of positive reinforcement. She is the kind of girl who was constantly told how pretty she was, constantly told how talented she was and compared to her back woods Colorado friends, she was the trophy fuckin’ wife in training. But she’s in the big leagues now and for some reason no one has told her to her face that she fuckin’ sucks and they just keep on encouraging her to keep on going, eventually she’ll be a hit….but all those pats on the back just keep coming in and she keeps on producing….

This a fat ugly lookin’ girl who wants to be a model, or a kid with one leg wanting to be a pro athlete, or even a man wanting to be able to give birth like a woman…sure it could be possible, but it will take a fucking miracle.

In part of the publicity train, Montag somehow managed to get a broken down Britney whose judgment isn’t all there because of the meds they are shoving down her throat, to do a duet with her, this is probably the height of Montag’s musical career and the highest profile duet she’ll ever get, possibly the last song Britney sings on alive and it still sounds like a third trimester abortion without anesthetics.

So this could be history in the making, but not the kind of history that doesn’t deserve to be called history because it is shit. I only made it 15 seconds through before realizing that that my dream for her to have one decent tune in her catalog didn’t come true. I can’t help it, I always root for the underdog. That’s why I am wasting my time talking to you….